SAYING GOODBYE

To 2010 makes me reflect on other goodbyes in my life. There were some goodbyes- to family members moving, parents' health declining. Going into a New Year brings the need to try to make resolutions and change- goodbye to bad habits, lose weight, spend less money or whatever comes to mind in the moment. My cousin says he makes goals that are attainable. Positive approach. Goals unlike resolutions can be multi-faceted with baby steps. Writing down the goal or goals, starting and checking the progress made. So as we say goodbye, to what are we saying goodbye- just a date on the calendar? Arrivederci! See you again is a better goodbye. Goodbye to the year by celebrating it and looking forward to another year! Some people hope it will be a better year! It will be what it will be. 2010 brought some joys like a new grandson, ability to keep working, writing regularly, renewed creativity. What did the year bring for you? Do you have resolutions or goals or are you just going to hold your own in the New Year?

GEARING UP FOR THE NEW YEAR

Will you have any New Year's resolutions? This week between Christmas and New Year gets us all reflecting on the last year. The TV summarizes the events, best movie, best song, who was lost, best news story. What were your best moments? Worst moments? Joys? Loves? Are you glad as I am to be able to celebrate another year? Tell me your thoughts.

DID YOU HAVE A GOOD CHRISTMAS?

Is a question asked following the big day. Everyone would love to say it was great or fake it saying it was great. Most of us had a good Christmas- flaws and all- too much eating, one child that did not sit at the table, some sibling fighting, a present or two not appreciated but overall a good time. For many it was a time of missing people who were not there. Those serving overseas, living in another province or any other reason. A good Christmas is good enough. There is a magic of celebrating in a normal, family manner. Taking lots of pictures is my joy as I love to make duplicates for family and friends, scrapbook and enjoy looking at them many times. I decided a long time ago that Christmas will be what it will be! Try to do something special if possible. This year I gave some Maple Leaf autographs to my two sons-in-law as a draw on Christmas Day- they had to pick a number- 1 or 2. Frame 1 and Frame 2- David Keon was in one frame while Bob Pulford/Bill Harris was in the other frame. The autographs were from the 1962/1963 team. It was a time when the Leafs were prolific Stanley Cup winners. Since David Keon was my favourite hero of all times, I did not want to show any favouritism by giving his autograph to one over the other. It was fun to prepare and to see the reaction. It made Christmas dinner between the main course and dessert a little eventful. I enjoyed doing it. I hope they enjoyed the endeavor. Did I have a good Christmas? Yes it was good. How about you?

TRUST

I was watching a young singing celebrity interviewed by a Canadian. She was discussing how her music reflects her feelings and thoughts about life. How she wrote her own music and lyrics. The interviewer asked if she is ever cautious about sharing so much with the world? She missed the question and continued to talk about her latest album. I understood his question. The celebrity is sweet, young and somewhat naive to believe the world to be that trusting. In my training as a counsellor/therapist trust is a huge component of the therapeutic process. How to gain trust! How to recognize trust! How to keep a person's trust! Yes, be friendly, be nice but we do not have to trust everyone. We can allow the time to decide if we trust a new person or not. Honestly, not everyone is to be trusted. Being a good, honest person does not mean the rest of the world thinks the same way. Trust needs to be earned and honoured. If you are trusted with someone's information then keep it confidential. It is okay to leave a situation if trust has been broken. Trust is huge. We often forget how huge until we are caught in a vulnerable situation. So be careful to whom you share your feelings and thoughts. Definitely, be careful about anything financial. Have there been times your trust has been broken? Are you someone others can trust? What is your definition of trust?

CHRISTMAS TREE ANGEL

We used to put a star at the top of the Christmas Tree as a child. Then Tree angels became popular. When my Natasha was 5 she made a sweet little toilet roll angel for the tree. For years it was the only angel I put on the tree until I bought a pretty store one that had lights. The little angel still goes on every Christmas tree beside the new angel as reminder of the art of little hands. Do you have some special family items that are displayed every year? Do you treasure those items made by little hands or your hands?

THE GREEN SCARF

My daughter had been trying to find a green scarf for my little grandson for months in all the children's stores. He wanted a green scarf. Okay, I knit and crochet so she finally asked if I had any green wool to make one. Well , with only 7 shades , one colour was chosen. It took less than a day to knit one for him. I am a crafter so my children are used to my homemade items but they usually prefer the factory line made things. I tried to make it look like a store bought one. Bless my little grandson! Something made from loving hands is timeless!

THE RED DELICIOUS APPLE

My Mom would always put a large orange and a large red delicious apple in our stockings along with some cream candies, one big toy and small items when I was a little girl. She grew up through the Depression so fresh fruit was considered special at Christmas. We always had clementines,macintosh apples, homemade baked goods, lots of chocolates and a big turkey dinner with all the trimmings. A plum pudding with my Mom's rum sauce- yes real rum- was one of many desserts. Now we have so many varieties of vegetables and fruit all year round that it seems dated to talk about a big apple. For me, it is a reminder of something simple from a childhood Christmas. It is a reminder of my Mom and how special she would make Christmas. So I ate my apple today while preparing the Christmas dinner. I like so many other mothers make the magic for our families and make Christmas special! Are you remembering some childhood moments? Christmas brings out the nostalgia in all of us!

THE ITALIAN SEAFOOD DINNER

Christmas Eve to Italians means a large seafood dinner. Previously Adolph and I would have the family for Christmas Eve- Italian tradition as well as Christmas Day-Canadian tradition. This year it was just the two of us so we went upscale with not only the usual dishes Adolph likes to make such as bacala soup, scallops, shrimps, calamari rings but Canadian lobster tails. We said a toast to Mama- who passed away 12 years ago. She taught Adolph how to cook his delicious dishes so the Di Mambro traditions carry on. Do you do something special on Christmas Eve?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN SANTA?

Well I do. I think of the magic of believing as a child. Today I am enjoying my grandchildren's excitement about what Santa left them. All yesterday-Christmas Eve there were reports on TV and the radio telling little children where he was seen. I believe in the magic that parents do to create a happy Christmas for their families. The little extras that are provided throughout the season. But my Santa came in the way of a worker in West Kelowna, British Columbia. My Christmas parcel to my folks took an extra week to arrive there- had sent it December 5. While tracking on line daily, saw that an attempt was made to deliver it December 21. Phoned Dad to advise to check for his notification card but he is elderly and might have forgotten to go to the mailbox. Emailed family to remind him if they spoke to him, and contacted the caregiving service to try to help him get it. This morning found out Santa had delivered their parcel- the girl at the Post Office saw the package, called the folks and personally hand delivered it Christmas Eve. It is so difficult not to have all my family close at Christmas but knowing there are loving, caring people that watch out for others reminds us all to open our hearts. Well do you believe in Santa?

CHRISTMAS MOVIES

Every year I watch the same Christmas movies over and over. The Christmas Carol - the original black and white one with Alister Sims is one of my favourites. That Magic Christmas has been playing on the television. Just watched Love Actually again for another year. The Bells of St. Mary, The Christmas Story, The Santa Claus, Home Alone, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, The Little Drummer Boy are favourites for young and old. Every TV show has their Christmas specials with sappy themes. Why do we watch them? To make us Cry? To make us feel for the season? Christmas with movies is part of our lives. Love them and watch them over and over. What is your favourite movie?

OUR HIGHWAY OF HEROS

Again today another fallen Canadian soldier travelled the Highway of Heros in the GTA( Greater Toronto Area). He was killed in Afghanistan on foot patrol- Steve Martin from Quebec. To honour our heros a stretch of highway on the 401 between Trenton and Toronto was given this designation. It is a grass roots movement of ordinary Canadians, firemen, police who line the bridges overlooking the highway to pay their respect and show the families we care as the cavalcade passes along the highway. Cars move over to make room for it. The Cars on the other side of the highway will honk, slow down to honour our loved one. When one of our Armed Forces member dies, all families across this country feel their pain. Other people wait at the Coroner's office in Toronto to give support to the families there. Hopefully, today will be the last time it will occur. Rest in peace! Canada is grateful for your sacrifice. Sorry for the Loss!

CHRISTMAS STORIES

This time of year brings out all the stories. The happy, the sad, the tragic, the inspirational and just the ordinary moments of the season. When we hear of an accident, the feeling and remarks of what a terrible time of year to have that happen- as if a tragedy in the summer is any less tragic.

Working in a hospital, we are always trying to get patients home or many of them just want to go home even if not well enough. People are more generous as the boxes of cookies, chocolates and other seasonal goodies are piling at every Nursing Station and staff room.

The toy drives, the food hampers by community groups and churches allow all of us to reach out to others less fortunate and share what we have. Many dinner tables will have some guests that are "strays" as they do not have anywhere else to go- so please join us for Christmas dinner, Italian Christmas Eve Seafood dinner, Boxing Day or New Year's. No one should be alone!!!

Our hearts go to the Armed Forces as another beautiful, caring young man loses his life in our country. Travellers stranded in Europe, just wanting to get home for Christmas. So hold off on opening gifts and have your time a few days later to accomodate those who did not make it for the real day. Emails, phone calls, facebook messages, texting will increase over the next few days and of course some last minute shopping to add to the hectic stress of this last week. I always have a few extra gifts stored just in case something comes to my attention that someone needs them. Oh Christmas with all its stress, tears, laughter, family crabbing, love, joy, the excitement of little children wanting to know what Santa will bring- what would life be without it! The pressure we put on ourselves. Then the quiet moments by the Christmas tree, sipping a favourite beverage and eating some sweets- perhaps watching a favourite Christmas movie, listening to music or just enjoying the peace of home and family. What are your Christmas stories? What brings a tear to your eye? What brings laughter? Who are you missing? Who are you welcoming to your home?

THE WINTER SOLSTICE

The darkest day of the year or the longest night the winter solstice always coincides with Christmas. Often we are told it connects us with pagan times. Old with modern- good to know we connect with those from other times. As we face the sun furthest away from us, we look to tomorrow as the sun starts to return. For me this is a very bittersweet time. It has been 9 years since a very dear friend died on this day-Larry. Although time does heal our wounds, it is always a reminder of him. Attended his funeral that year on Christmas Eve. A dear friend, father, husband, brother, colleague- well one of a kind. We always make new friends along the way but we never really replace the ones we have lost. Have you lost any friends? Do you still miss those friends? What do you do to keep their memory alive? Ironic it is a dark day!

SNOW ANGELS

A favourite childhood snow activity is making angels in the snow. Today with the help of my granddaughter- one was made.

Years ago I wrote a brief poem about them.

Angels in the Snow

As I watched the snowflakes gently drift to the ground,

I thought of Angels in the Snow.

The inner joy of laying on Virgin snow,

Waving arms and legs creating those

white angels.

I wonder if the real ones watch?

At this time of year we do think of the Christmas angel. There are so many stories with angels in the bible. People in modern times often quote angel events. Many of us do believe children must have guardian angels to survive the many near misses they experience. Do you believe in angels? Do you have any angel stories? Do you feel their presence in your life?

FAMILY GET TOGETHERS

Getting together with family and friends during the holiday season is what makes the season joyous. My daughter and son-in-law had a small dinner party at their new home. We all pitched in to bring food- Adolph made his homemade lasagna with fresh pasta. It was an enjoyable evening with the little children running around and the adults eating and laughing. Times like that are what make memories for us all. Do you have special family events? Are they a tradition or does each year bring a different event? Do people come to stay with you over the holidays? Years ago my folks would visit and stay with family members for Christmas. Are there changes in your life?

HE'S THE REASON FOR THE SEASON

In all our Christmas preparations it is important to remember Jesus is the reason for the season. In my home, there is a table full of creche items, tins and books about the Christ child. My grandchildren can play with the figures as well as we can look at the pictures and read the books about the story. Each year a new book can be added to help honour the time. Some cultures put an elaborate Creche under their tree. What do you do to keep Christ in Christmas?

O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL

Is my favourite Christmas Carol. Music makes the season so joyous. It can be tiring to hear the stores playing the same songs over and over but I never tire of listening to Christmas classics. Away in a Manger is the song little ones usually sing at school concerts or church. Silent Night sung by any choir sets the mood for the Christmas story. Songs about Santa- Santa Claus is coming to Town, Reindeer- Granma got run over by a Reindeer and a White Christmas- I'm dreaming of a White Christmas are always popular non-religious songs. The story of a good king from the Middle Ages, Good King Wenceslas bridges the gap to modern times. Angels we have heard on High reminds us of the Angel in the story. The First Noel, What Child is This, It Came Upon a Midnight Clear and of course O Holy Night are songs provided by many artists on many CDs. Sometimes we even have a favourite version of each song. Many movies and shows always include the music of the season. I like to put a selection of CDs to be played each year. Always in the background as I wrap presents, decorate the house or bake . I even have a good Kids' Christmas Favorites CD that is a blend of carols and songs. It is teaching my little grandchildren the music of the season. Do you have a favourite carol or song? Do you play the music regularly? Do you like the radio stations with continuous Christmas music? Have you listened to a Choir live or an orchestra playing the melodies? A visit to church enables us to sing our favourites. Does the music of the season bring joy to your soul?

SNOW, SNOW AND MORE SNOW

If you wanted a white Christmas, well with all the snow across the country you have your wish. Dressed in layers, my daily walks to and from work are still manageable. I have to watch out for the cars as they can slip and slide in this weather. The children always love to make snowmen and toboggan down the smallest hill. Near my home by the library there is a great hill for sledding and it is fun to watch the children enjoy it. Even in this age of everything electronic, a ride down a snowy slope is still an activity sought by all. North of Toronto the ski and snow board resorts are doing well. Do you enjoy snow activities? Or is your pleasure staying indoors and observing the winter from a warm, cozy seat?

THE POINSETTIA

Although native to Mexico and Central America, the Poinsettia has become synonymous with North American Christmas decor. Since I was a little girl there has always been a poinsettia in the house at Christmas. Usually red, the white ones are quite pretty too. The Mexican legend goes that a little girl was too poor for a present for the baby Jesus so brought him the poinsettia. One alone on a table, as a centerpiece, several lined in a row on a church altar, the plant makes a beautiful decoration in this festive season. Do you have one in your home? Do you feel it is not Christmas without a poinsettia on your table? Is it your favourite hostess gift? If so come on by!!

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

Driving around the streets it is fun to see the light displays and what others have done.

The possibilities are endless as the same string of lights can be displayed in its own unique way depending on the imagination of the homeowner.

What would the season be without the lights? Streets with displays some elaborate and others like mine- a few strings of lights thrown around a tree. My most favourite lights are those on my Christmas tree. Some flashers and some stationary. I love to sit by the tree- reading, knitting, sipping wine, watching TV. There is such a peaceful feeling. It reminds me of my childhood as sitting by the tree was always so pleasurable. I have two other little trees with lights in other rooms. Why do lights bring joy? In religion, light is so symbolic. Do you take comfort with Christmas lights? Is your display the talk of the neighbourhood? Do you ever drive around your community to look at the lights?

GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS

Somedays I just go through the motions. Thursday, I decorated my Christmas tree without much enthusiasm and just went through the motions but low and behold it is a beautiful decorated Christmas tree. Often just doing and being make a beautiful thing happen. My sweet little grandson yesterday, was so excited with the tree. I could stop and enjoy his moment. There are days for all of us that it takes all our energy to get going and make the effort to do what we need to do. Life can be tough but putting two feet on the ground and doing what needs to be done in the day can be rewarded by the people we love in our lives. Do you go through the motions and discover the reward at the end? Do you find the energy to hang in there for whatever reason it may be? Life comes from our willingness to keep going and stay strong. Are you struggling today? Let me know and we will go through the motions together.

THE LAST MERRY CHRISTMAS SIGN

I bought this sign at a craft sale at a local retirement home several years ago. Liked it as it would be good to have by the front door in my garden by the window. The lady who sold it to me said it was the last sign she had. Her husband had died that year. He had made signs as well as other woodworking items as a post retirement hobby and some additional income. She was selling the reminder of his items. I told her it would have a good home and would be cherished. I took the sign home and realized it actually was quite special. When I pull it out each year now to put by the front door, it is a reminder for all of us there will be the last one of whatever it is ! Each Christmas I am vigilant of the fact it could be the last one for many people I love. So I always try to make it the best Christmas and not just another one. I like to think there may be something special to do. Last Christmas it was the Olympic theme. I knit red hats for the family to wear when the Olympics started and had included several items to use in our celebrations. 1997 was a special Christmas too as I knew it would be the last one for my mother-in-law Concetta as her cancer had advanced. I took a special Christmas video with her doing, talking and being so the memory would be there for us to this day. She died July 1998. There are many reasons for all of us to enjoy to the fullest. This year there is a new member in our family and my son-in-law's family has two new members. We lose some along the way but life is beautiful and we gain some new people. Are there special memories of the "lasts" in your life? Are you the person that just makes it special as if it is the last Christmas you would be together with someone you love? If we do not make the holidays special then what is it all about? Are there some firsts in your life? You have added some new ones!Tell me your special Christmas stories.

WHAT IS CHRISTMAS SPIRIT?

I heard this term today on the TV when the newscaster was describing people having Christmas spirit while they donated toys to the Toy Mountain toy drive in the Greater Toronto Area. As soon as I heard it the Christmas Spirit feeling overcame me. Of course we know what the Christmas spirit is from a feeling level. Intellectually it is hard to describe. Something overcomes us this time of year- we do feel like giving to others for different reasons. The songs, the feeling of small joys, the look on children's faces- well the Christmas spirit. To share, to gather, to eat, to enjoy the childhood magic of the season. Inviting some lonely person to your Christmas table. Having people we love for another year. Missing those who are no longer here. Hearing the Christmas story again of the Christ child and feeling the magic! What does the phrase mean to you? Are you finding it hard to describe in words as I am? Do you just feel it in your soul? Your heart? Do you have Christmas spirit? I know I do.

TAKING CONTROL

When life seems overwhelming, stop and find the small opportunities to take back control. Cleaning a cupboard, paying a bill, phoning a friend, finishing a project are small ways to ground ourselves and find some control. What do you do to help in your chaotic life?

EVERGREEN TREES

Evergreen trees are our salvation in the winter months when the deciduous trees have lost their leaves and the flowers have died. Covered in snow they are subject of many Christmas cards and beautiful photographs. In natural settings they make a winter walk enjoyable. On a ski slope they can be markers for the skier. Many Christmas light displays have encircled the trees. Most homes will have at least one evergreen tree. My tree on the front lawn is quite tall now. There are two more in the backyard. In the Spring and Summer they are overshadowed by the other vegetation. Now the green stands out like a big gardener's thumb. In some ways they are boring and many gardeners debate whether to plant the evergreen tree at all. But over the years as the tree grows taller and taller it is seen as a wise decision. Besides there are no leaves to rake- just some pine cones to be hidden under it. The winter with its evergreen trees is like life. Are we like the evergreen tree as our lives move along? Is it in the winter of our lives that our worth is really understood? Do other things overshadow us in earlier times? Even with a little white, there still is such beauty.

MOVING FORWARD

Is the latest phrase in work, business and whatever we are doing. On a committee, moving forward; in a business plan, moving forward; in our lives, moving forward!! Who came up with this term as we hear it everywhere now. Years ago it was- are you part of the problem or the solution! The current buzz words makes us all look intelligent and part of the game. Firstly, we have to understand what it really means. Of course, none of us want to move backwards or tread water or do we? Do we move forward before the problem is solved or does moving forward solve the problem? Or does moving forward leave the problem behind for someone else to fix? Does moving forward make us look busy? Intelligent? If you really listen to newscasts, planning meetings, speeches, try to determine how many times this cute little phrase is used and how many different meanings it can have!!

THE POT LUCK LUNCH

Pot luck lunches are so typical this time of year. For work, churches, social clubs and even family events, everybody brings a dish and the table is full of a selection of goodies. Surprisingly, there are usually a variety of food items. Rarely does one get 20 salads! Life is often like a pot luck. Events unfold with a mix of people, opinions and results. We never know what the outcome will be until the gathering. I like the concept of pot luck for that reason. One dish does not make the meal, but the many dishes do. Like a party- it's the people that are assembled to have a good time that make the good time. It is a trust thing- we must trust that the whole is greater than any of its parts. Do you like pot lucks? They are rather fun. Enjoy your " pot luck" of life!

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

Christmas shopping is finished for some, almost there for others and gee I guess I better get started for a few. Had the opportunity to do some fun shopping at St. Jacob's- a sweet town outside of Kitchener-Waterloo, Ontario- about an hour drive from Toronto. Quaint stores with interesting items. Found some more presents for my family and even 1 or 2 for me. It was quite cold but the company of close friends that keep me moving and laughing made it bearable. A different Christmas shop from the Mall nearby. Do you have favourite little towns where you like to shop?

TREASURED POSSESSIONS

I was asked recently what are my most treasured possessions. Things not people-since my family is more important than anything! However, there are items that have emotional connections for me. I inherited my Dad's desk- used to play on it when I had visits with him. My Mom's Grade 8 silver medal for attendance and "being a good student". My photo albums bring great pleasure. My travel albums have been scrapbooked long before "scrapbooking" became the rage. Of course, my camera- take it everywhere and try to capture the moments. I am the one that loves to make copies of pictures and have seen the joy of others loving my candid shots. What are your favourite possessions? Is there one or do different items bring different memories?

THE CHRISTMAS CARD

This time of year brings the task of sending Christmas cards. Some people love doing them, others just want to send an email or a Merry Christmas on Facebook. The tradition is a positive one as it is a way of staying connected with different people that have come into our lives. On our honeymoon in 1971 we met two ladies on the beach- Dorothy and Marge. I still send a card to Marge in Oregon. Dorothy passed away a few years ago but was always on my list. Old work mates, High School friends, family from across Canada and even neighbours are sent a card. My cards to cousins in Italy are sent first, then ones to the United States and coast to coast in Canada. Some years the notorious newsletter is written to update everyone on the year's activities. I actually like to receive them from others as there is more information than the one liner contained in most cards. Hanging them the old fashioned way helps with the home decorating. The photo card types are always welcomed as it is fun to see the changing families. They are included in my album pages from each Christmas. Bundles of Christmas cards from past years are kept in a safe place. By looking at them periodically, little treasures can be found- a homemade child's card to a Mommy! Those bundle of cards can be a composite of one's life. Many with a family member's handwriting can be included in genealogy projects. Do you still send Christmas cards? Do you like to receive them? Or have you joined the easy way of using social media?

THE CANADIAN BARN

Barns are part of the Canadian landscape and can be found coast to coast. The barns pictured here are from Southern Ontario. From the small farm to the corporate enterprise, barns have such varied uses from horse barns to grain storage to livestock. There is an interesting book on my shelf entitled- The Barn-A Vanishing Landmark in North America by Eric Arthur and Dudley Witney published in 1972. The structure and designs are discussed in great detail. Several barns illustrated are from this area where I live. I look at the pictures periodically. I remember some barns that are long gone. At Dufferin and Steeles there was an Octagon Barn that I thought was so neat as I liked the shape. The barn- it is such a simple architectural design yet so functional. Even expressions encompass the barn- Where were you born, in a barn? A barn dance with lots of hay! A barn is so reflective of the hard work of our farmers who put food on our tables. A country drive can be so pleasurable when barns are on the horizon. Do you have favourite barns in your area? Do you find them symbolic of our culture? Does it conjure up memories of visits to a farm?

THE CHEERLEADER

We all need champions in our lives. Someone who just supports us and says job well done. Keep going, you're doing great. Nice to have you in my life. Recently, I encountered a person that was a mentor to me in my early career. Loved his style of managing a difficult moment. Questioned in a supportive manner. Good energy. Some days I hope to be that person to other people. But sometimes the negative energy around me makes it quite difficult. So I try to become my own cheerleader. Calm your energy, it's not personal, step back and listen to the other person- there's more than one point of view. I was a cheerleader in High School. Then I could do a high kick into the splits- well if I tried that now I would hurt something- very badly!!!!!!! Are you a cheerleader? Did you have cheerleaders in your life? Do you find cheerleaders annoying?