NANA SAYS THE PROBLEM IS THE PROBLEM

Not the child. In my work, I like to use some of the concepts of Narrative Therapy. Making the problem the problem and not the child, the self-esteem of your child can be maintained. Approaching concerns with your children, your family, your relationship can be more positive if this simple approach is used. We all do many things well-even the child you are trying to discipline. For example, if your teen is coming home after curfew, coming home late is the problem. Your teen has not become a bad person. Sitting and picking apart the problem allows for the child to help with identifying the problem, analysing it and looking towards a solution. Another example, a mess after a play time. The problem- the mess. How is everyone going to help with solving the mess? In our work we are asked to solve problems. Rarely would we head straight for a solution without identifying the problem. Use it in child rearing! Remember to concentrate on the good areas of your life! Letting your child become part of the "team" in helping to solve the "problem" changes the focus, doesn't it!

A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

Is an expression that brings hope to those during a dark or stressful time. Keeping focussed that life will get better allows us to cope and to keep going. Sometimes it actually is not a real light but could be a person, an idea, a solution to the problem. In your dark moments, keep looking for the light as it could present itself in so many different ways. Perhaps you could be the light in someone's life. Helping a friend through a hard time. Offering hands on assistance. Just being there!

MOVING FORWARD

Is the latest phrase in work, business and whatever we are doing. On a committee, moving forward; in a business plan, moving forward; in our lives, moving forward!! Who came up with this term as we hear it everywhere now. Years ago it was- are you part of the problem or the solution! The current buzz words makes us all look intelligent and part of the game. Firstly, we have to understand what it really means. Of course, none of us want to move backwards or tread water or do we? Do we move forward before the problem is solved or does moving forward solve the problem? Or does moving forward leave the problem behind for someone else to fix? Does moving forward make us look busy? Intelligent? If you really listen to newscasts, planning meetings, speeches, try to determine how many times this cute little phrase is used and how many different meanings it can have!!

LIFE PRESENTS ITSELF

Have you ever been trying to solve a problem and just plain wonder what you are going to do about a situation? Somewhere along my journey in life, I started to rely on my favourite saying

" Life will present Itself!"

By taking a step back from many circumstances, the solution begins to unfold. Being right, being in a power struggle, boxed into a corner can create the need to have an answer and the best answer of everyone involved. By waiting for the process to evolve gives the responsibility back to others and well life. Taking a break allows the mind to declutter and make room for new ideas to enter. Of course,there may be times such as an emergency, action needs to happen immediately and one does the best possible action in the moment! In counselling with people, presenting the various options available allow the person to chose a road and to add whatever is needed to travel safely. For me, personally and professionally, I do have a way if asked for an immediate answer, not to be trapped but say- " Let me think about it and I will get back to you!" Some may say, let me sleep on it. Doesn't a new day sometimes often bring clarity to your life? If I have become too emotionally involved in something, some distance or a day or two, reduces the emotional response allowing for a softer conclusion. Although, we all get caught in knee jerk reactions to situations. That is why I try to ground my energy, figure out what needs to be said or done. Life can bring people, ideas to us that are necessary to get to the next step. Like the picture, is the solution just around the corner? Around the bend? What do you use to help get to the next step? Have you ever wished you had waited for a different answer?