COUNSELLING IS MORE THAN TALKING

As a Social Worker, the minute I tell someone what I do I am often told, I'm like a social worker because I like to talk to people and give advice! Hum! Counselling is much more than that! It is a trained set of skills. Years of practice of how to question and facilitate a person's process in the direction he/she needs to go. Different questioning than a job interview, a police interrogation or a lawyer that tries "to trip you up" so you will contradict yourself. It is different than teaching!  Listening to the client's words or using therapeutic modalities such as art, music, photos gives insight into a person's issues. I love to be around other therapists and social workers because we speak the same language. Taking some psychology courses are good but they do not make everyone a trained clinician. So do you understand why I do not always tell people what I do?

EVERYONE'S A THERAPIST

As a trained Social Worker-Therapist, it is always interesting how many people think they can do what I do. Speaking to, giving advice and knowing the right answer is not therapy. It is speaking and giving advice. In my current employment, there are many times when providing resources to a patient and/or family, there is minimal clinical depth. Other times there is a real therapeutic process occurring. Counselling is not just talking. It is a skill that comes with training, experience and continued learning. There are different theoretical bases, types of counselling and modes of intervention. Crisis counselling is different from relationship,adjustment and family counselling. Often issues are recognized but can not be addressed as a discharge is all that is being discussed. Trying to fix a family's dysfunction is not the problem of the team. Friends in social circles think they can counsel and fix their friends. Stay friends! Be a good friend but do not ever think you are a therapist! Even work colleagues think they should try to fix each other! As a therapist, my view is very clear- fix yourself first! Projecting your own issues on others, keeps the spotlight off you is a nice decoy! Be a good work colleague- kind and supportive! Remember not everyone is a therapist and does not have the same skill and professional boundaries needed to respect you and your issues. If you need a good therapist, ask your friendly Social Worker who can recommend one for you!

TRUST

I was watching a young singing celebrity interviewed by a Canadian. She was discussing how her music reflects her feelings and thoughts about life. How she wrote her own music and lyrics. The interviewer asked if she is ever cautious about sharing so much with the world? She missed the question and continued to talk about her latest album. I understood his question. The celebrity is sweet, young and somewhat naive to believe the world to be that trusting. In my training as a counsellor/therapist trust is a huge component of the therapeutic process. How to gain trust! How to recognize trust! How to keep a person's trust! Yes, be friendly, be nice but we do not have to trust everyone. We can allow the time to decide if we trust a new person or not. Honestly, not everyone is to be trusted. Being a good, honest person does not mean the rest of the world thinks the same way. Trust needs to be earned and honoured. If you are trusted with someone's information then keep it confidential. It is okay to leave a situation if trust has been broken. Trust is huge. We often forget how huge until we are caught in a vulnerable situation. So be careful to whom you share your feelings and thoughts. Definitely, be careful about anything financial. Have there been times your trust has been broken? Are you someone others can trust? What is your definition of trust?