CELEBRATING EASTER AND PASSOVER IN CANADA

Good for all that the Christian and Jewish holidays occur together this year.
Time to reflect on the messages for all.
Love, hope, forgiveness and the strength to carry on in life.

For those celebrating Easter, many pictures for the message.

Symbols everywhere.

Some flowers are a memory of those no longer with us. The best part of the celebration is being with family, especially the grandchildren. They bring some good energy to the mix.
How are you celebrating the holidays?
#Easter#Passover#symbolsofEaster#picturesshowustheseason#crosses#eastereggs#flowers#easterbaskets#celebrating with family.

SO WHAT IS FAMILY?

If someone asked you what is family, it would be your definition! To some it is two parents, children, and grandparents. Then some aunts, uncles, cousins. Some people live close to many members of their extended family. Some people like I have family scattered all over the country. My husband has many family members here, some in the USA and some close cousins in Italy. For some it is bragging rights- " when we get together we have 100 people!" For some a good crowd might be 10! Numbers really do not matter. Bigger is not better! There are intact families, single parent families from divorce or death, 4 grandparents or maybe none as they had all passed away, blended families, step parent families and same sex couples- all with or without large families.
Some would say their family is better than everyone else! Some love their family. Some hate their family and all the social events around it! Blood can be thicker than water but some relations do strain a family. One may not want to be related but did not have a choice.  One could love a step dad better than a real dad.  One family member can taint the whole system with abuse, scandal or just plain meanness. Every family has its share of characters. A good family can be a loving place to visit and share stories. Major events like Christmas can stress the family system of too much togetherness! Birthdays are a good time to share life together. And there is cake! Love family or not, it is a fact of life. So how is your family? Do you enjoy the togetherness? Do you have thoughts about what family means to you?
#family#singlefamily#intactfamily#parents#couples#extended family#immediatefamily#blendedfamilies#divorce#death#braggingrights

CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT FAMILY

Christmas with family and friends makes it meaningful. Who makes dinner? Whose house to be at for Christmas Eve? Do you fly home or just connect by phone?
We had visitors often at Christmas. My folks spent several ones with us after moving west. My mother-in-law would sleep over to be with us Christmas morning.
Family can be good but also any issues can surface. Some family members always like to create problems no matter what day it may be.
So how to enjoy a good Christmas. Put the issues aside for the New Year. Decide to enjoy- not nuts but just to roll with the day. Kids are over the top so accept it. The whole season is the build up to the day which sometimes is like another day.
Phone calls to loved ones can occur before the big day so make that happen too. Emails and texting has become the norm with lots of communicating.
Call up all the family memories that were good. If missing anyone, put the person in the room. This year we are missing a Dad/Grandpa/Great-Grandpa!
So who in your family is important to you? What memories can you create?
#family#Christmas#celebrations#folks#missingalovedone#ChristmasDay#familyissues

NANA SAYS GIVE CHILDREN STRONG ROOTS TO GROW

Family is a good place to start in giving children strong roots. If lucky, there is more than one generation to be there for the little ones. Having grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends that are like real family give children a village where they can grow. Being loved by many people is so emotionally important. To be accepted and appreciated for no reason other than they are in your life is the best. Regular dinners, events, get togethers keep the joy alive. Even being welcoming to your children's friends is good for those children too.
#family#village#grandchildren#grandparents#children#roots#emotionalstability

FAMILY TIMES ARE THE BEST TIMES

Celebrating the precious moments of life with loved ones have the best meaning. Birthdays and special occasions and just a simple meal or barbecue are opportunities to be together. Eating and laughing and just enjoying can be good. Life can change in an instance. Not to be morbid but sometimes it could be the last time together.  To talk about positive things and events. To support each other. To listen to each other. Hugs and kisses. Little ones sitting on laps. Of course, take lots of pictures. Memories then become permanent!

                                                         So how have you been lately!
#familytimes#celebratingpreciousmomentsoflife#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro#makingmemoriespermanent

COPING WITH CHRONIC ILLNESS AS A CAREGIVER- SOME STRATEGIES

Life catches up with all of us. As we age, health changes. so often there are chronic issues with one or both partners, children, grandparents or friends. Watching some one's health change and trying to support without taking charge is a fine line to walk. Some strategies.

1. The person owns the illness. What are the wishes? Plans as it progresses?

2. Keep records of vitals, medication, doctor visits, an updated medical record.

3.As a family member, hard not to become a caregiver. So if the demands are all consuming, get some help from family, friends, the church, your club or if financially okay pay someone.

4. Do not accept the blame for any illness. Especially wives are often blamed for their spouse's health concerns. For example, why did you let him Smoke?

5. Consulting with professionals. Counselling, equipment needs, government services and programs are a few areas that may be useful. For example, if the person has Alzheimer's use your local Alzheimer's Society for any support. Social Workers are a great source of knowledge and emotional support.

6. Less is more. Try to get out with the loved one. Short walks or wheelchair rolls. Go to a restaurant for an occasional meal. Visit places for short visits. Have a vehicle that can be accessed. If not and the person qualifies get accepted to your local Mobility Bus service.

7. Don't become totally housebound. But if the demands are such, make the home as enriching as possible. Good cable stations, skype, movie channels like Netflix so entertainment is stimulating, newspaper delivery. Online shopping is a must.

8. Take care of your own health and needs. Time away from the loved one is vital. If the person were not sick, independent activities would occur, so let them happen.

9. Use a medic alert so when going out there is the reassurance that connection occurs. If the person is still able to use a cell phone than it is carried at all times.

10. Day programs, groups, clubs that meet regularly may be considerations.

11. Breathe, live, enjoy some quality time with your loved one. Read to the person, watch a movie together, encourage other family members to make regular short visits.

#chronicillness#professionals#medicalrecords#homesafety#governmentservices

A COUNTDOWN TO A CANADIAN CHRISTMAS-WEEK 2

Work chugs along and so does December. The snow arrived with a bang so staying home at night and shovelling snow is part of the Christmas season.Lots of shovelling over the weekend too.

Two grandchild slept over last weekend to give the parents a break. I took them to the Cervaro Club Christmas party meeting up with my other daughter and 3 children. A fun Children's group entertained us. There were lots of goodies to eat. Of course a visit by Santa. Gifts are all wrapped. The paper carrier- a hard working new Canadian was given his Christmas money bonus along with a box of chocolates, candy canes and a candle. Corners of the house continue to be tidied for the season and the big day. Last night two other grandsons slept over. Dinner, popcorn and ice cream were provided. We all watched some of the Maple Leaf game then decided to try to find a Christmas movie. The Christmas Carol version with George C. Scott was picked. They were more excited about staying up late.
The children all love Nana and Granpa's tree and decorations in the house. Especially the musical boxes and those wonderful toys from Hallmark that sing and dance. Lots of candies, cookies and candy canes in the house.
The lights in the house make it so cozy.
The Christmas presents are mostly delivered. Both girls have their bags of stuff. I am still waiting for a couple of online items to come. I can always give them to the kids at another time. Adolph took the gift basket to our friends at our bank. Dad's gift basket should arrive in West Kelowna tomorrow.
My Christmas parcels to my family in the west all arrived the week of December 5.
Christmas cards and email newsletters are trickling in. Love to hear the news from family and friends. Christmas always gives that opportunity to keep in touch.
Playing my Christmas CDs on my BOSE system. Those that only download miss the opportunity to listen to favourite ones like Rita McNeil and Kenny Rogers. My favourite song continues to be - Oh Come All Ye Faithful. One week to go.
Work will be a short week. I am taking 2 days off to give an extra long weekend. Lots of time to prepare for the big day but mostly to enjoy the season. Being in my home, connecting with family, watching lame Christmas movies while I sit in my family room by my Christmas tree knitting or crocheting or reading the paper is very simple but so peaceful. How is your Canadian Christmas coming along?

NANA SAYS SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS FROM SANTA

Children has many Christmas requests. They have their list for Santa and sometimes do forget what they want from Mom and Dad. One little granddaughter of mine just wants dresses- she's three and easy to please. The older children have some electronics on their lists. So one grandson asked what do you want Nana from Santa. I thought for a moment and basically told him just to be with my family and all my precious grandchildren is what I want. The smile on his face said it all. Children need to hear how much they are loved. How much being a part of a family is important. Creating those happy moments and messages can come many opportunities for good mental and emotional health for all. I want to be remembered as the grandparent who let not only my grandchildren but my children and friends know they are loved. So have you told someone today you love them? Santa would be happy!

WHAT IS LOVE?

Love is important in our lives. When we feel loved, we feel human. For those without people in their lives they often turn to the love of pets. For many their cat or dog brings companionship and touch. Babies grow from being fed but also loved and held. So what is this feeling of love? How do we tell as humans the difference from liking someone and really loving someone? True love often means the other is our soulmate. But people can stop loving someone. When does love stop? Why do we love our hometown, our province, our country? Where does the love come from inside us? We use the word in many ways. I love my morning coffee. Don't you just love that actor in that film! Thanks for the gift- I really love it! Love that word that can make and break a day and sometimes a life. Children can become adults thinking their parents really did not love them. Sometimes it is true as a parent can have a favourite child and the other feels. I was asked one day at work by a colleague which grandchild I loved the most since he was his grandmother's favourite. I looked at him and said all of them but especially whichever one I happen to be hugging or holding at the time. The number 6 is important- 6 separate chambers of love in my heart for each of my grandbabies! I love them all but each brings different personalities and wonderful aspects to observe and love! For me then the love of family! What does love mean to you? Who and what do you love? How big is your heart?

NANA SAYS YOUR CHILDREN MAKE YOU A MOTHER

Being a mother comes with challenges at every age and stage. For me having two beautiful daughters who helped me find the spirit and depth of feelings for another person. To see them grow into two amazing mothers with their children has been one of life's greatest blessings. Each their own person learning from the family but going on in life to be the people they needed to be. Like Khahil Gibran wrote- we have children then like an arrow from a bow we shoot them to the world! Then the little grandchildren came along and more spirit and soul and love comes from within. To all the mothers, aunts who did not have children but love family, friends with children, grandparents- have a blessed and happy Mother's day on Sunday. Raising children is a tough task to embrace life long! My life would not have been the same if children had not been part of it! Thank you to my daughters. Wonderful to have you in my life!

I'M THE MOM

Someone asked me who was cooking Christmas dinner or holding the party or just doing the social thing. My response- me- I'm the Mom. Starting out in life girls are girls that attend events but eventually have their own lives and become a Mom.  But eventually in a family group someone becomes- the Mom. The one that holds the fort together but allows the freedom for others to come and go. The one who makes sure events get planned and food and items bought. The Mom! Every kid will love the cooking his or her Mom makes. Some aunties or friends of the family are the substitute Mom! When and how it happens that a 20 something woman becomes the Mom that makes the magic of Christmas, the fun at birthday parties, and down the road is the Mom to her Mom or Mother-in-law! Taking over the reins in the family group to make sure all the generations are honoured. Actually there are other Moms in my family group- my 2 daughters! Great Moms to their children! The Mom has so many levels for all of us. When planning or socializing or celebrating how often do we hear about how some one's Mom did things or created a disaster meal. For us it was when my Mom made the Pierre Berton's beans recipe- hard as bullets because she forgot to soak the beans first. But her lemon or apple pies were great. The times she made fudge and we would fight over
whose turn it was to scrape the pot! The Mom makes so much happen. Little things and big things. The Mom there for her family and friends! So who is the Mom in your group? Do you have several who take turns at different events? The Mom- what does it conjure up for you?

FAMILY CELEBRATIONS

Birthdays and special occasions are times for families to come together. Pictures with different family groups are those lasting shots that fill photo albums or cellphone files or little frames on the wall. Generations in one shot are moments in time. Retirements or weddings or just a backyard barbecue are times to be together to celebrate as a family. The celebration can be quiet- just a time to be together. Share a meal. Share a laugh. Catch up on all the news! Try to stay away from any controversial conversations! Unless of course there can be friendly- agree to disagree without any hard feelings! After the coming together then back to all our corners! Or homes! To live to see another time to get together!

BELONGING-AN EMOTIONAL NECESSITY

Everyone needs to belong to something. We identify ourselves by our families, our church, our community, our country. People know us and we know them. New friends, old friends. Catching up with the news. Our work community. Our professional community. Belonging. It gives us an sense of self. A history with someone else. A place of time. "Remember when?" Even if everyone is not the bff, still belong! So being inclusive! Not excluding others! Letting people belong helps builds relationships. It is really emotionally healthy!

NANA SAYS FAMILIES HELP EACH OTHER

Having several generations in a family can be supportive. Grandparents helping children with their children. Grandchild caring for aging grandparents. Children feeling like the middle of a sandwich with the older and younger generations. There is a time to help and a time to be helped. Being there for the family makes a clear sense of purpose. Of course lots of patience as each generation has its own quirks!

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH THE TOUGH GET GOING

It is easier said than done. Some events in our lives just hit us in the gut. It is hard to keep up a  strong face. Knowing what can be done and leaving the rest for a another day is one strategy. Looking to family and friends for love and support is a given. Managing the workable parts. No one is invincible, even the tough ones. Oh yes, sometimes a good cry helps to cleanse the soul! Some say, it is not getting knocked down, it how fast we get back on our feet. But not rushing as it can lead to accidents. Take time to do things slowly and methodically. Life teaches us many lessons. To persevere is one of them. Just keep going and do whatever you can then the clouds will lift again. It is darkest before the dawn!  But some nights are just too damn long!! Aren't they?

WHY DID HE DO IT- THE CRASH IN THE ALPS

With the crash of the German plane in the Alps, the question- why did he do it? Take away the crash element and make it simple- it was murder. So why do people murder anyone? Too often we try to get into the head of a killer. We probably will not have a definitive answer. The word depression has been thrown around. So let's be good and not think everyone with a clinical depression would be capable of doing what the co-pilot did. Most people with depression are more harm to themselves- not others. Keep it in perspective and say it was one person! People suffering from any mental illness carry so much stigma as it is! People with depression need the necessary supports to help maintain quality of life. Will we ever really know what motivated the man? I would rather focus on supporting and offering condolences to the many families who lost loved ones. Are they getting the attention they need to grieve? The French and German authorities have been quite transparent in their investigations which speaks volumes. The support they are giving to the families is so caring and compassionate. Their leaders are democracy at work- a tough time! The week with a tragedy like this crash stops us all in our tracks. I think I just want to give extra hugs to my family. How about you?

FAMILY DAY IN ONTARIO 2015

What can I say? A Monday off to spend doing personal stuff is always welcome. Especially missing a cold walk to work for one day. Actually a frigid weekend so being inside was okay. One social event with family, lots of hand crafts and watching some TV movies along with the usual household chores. Valentine's Day rammed in there too!! With the sun shining, lots of light in the house so does not feel depressing at all! Time to continue to learn the features on my Blackberry Classic that I obtained two weeks ago. Mondays are always hard work days in the winter. Why does warm weather make it  easier to get up and go out! Maybe the longer days! The sunshine! So if I look outside and just see the sun, I can pretend it is warmer and nicer than it is. And the days are getting longer anyway! So are you enjoying a day off from work! Or do you have family members home so you can enjoy some real "family day" time together?

BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS MEAN FAMILY

Eating out for our birthday celebrations, it was evident that a table full of family members is always special. The restaurant had several celebrations at other tables. It meant not having to clean the house or do the dishes. The most important aspect for me is family. A chance to get together and celebrate. Three generations at one table-how wonderful is that!!

FAMILIES DON'T NEED TO BE PERFECT TO BE EFFECTIVE

Families come in all shapes and sizes but none are without some conflict. Resolving those conflicts and learning to accept differences makes for a positive family life. Allowing space and togetherness are incongruous but work to allow for individual growth. When we look to the animal kingdom there are many models of families. The wolf has its pack. The lion has its pride. The antelope has its herd. The mother elephant cares for the others and keeps her baby close. Human children need the warmth and care of parents and a family group. Not perfect but important for emotional growth!

2013 IN PHOTO REVIEW

2013 was a good year with ordinary moments and fun! From a trip to Niagara-

to winter images on my street in December.

Fun at the Ex in Toronto!

To fresh produce from many market and farm outings during the summer and fall.

To a new addition to the family. Reviewing many photo images of the year, reminds me of the moments that were enjoyed. Nothing over the top, nothing amazing, nothing larger than life-but just life. Moments in time! To end the year with a roof over my head-there were some bad weather moments, family intact from coast to coast, some money in the bank to pay the bills, and projects waiting to be finished gives encouragement and hope for the year to come. Many people thought with the 13 in the year it was ominous! How was your year? Do you have photo images to share? A picture does speak a thousand words! Go ahead and share!