WORK IN THE GARDEN ON THE LONG WEEKEND

 So finally with some warmer weather, I was in the mood to do some pot planting.

My garden is overgrown so does not need any more flowers.

I have three pots in the front so cleaned them out and put in some flowers. I have one pot that has lavender that is a perennial so no need to do anything but clean out the pot.

I took my veggie plants to the back where I will plant some tomato plants, peppers, rosemary and seed some pole beans. 

Honestly I do not get a wonderful crop but it is fun to have a few fresh veggies.

My backyard is a real jungle. I am waiting for some bushes and plants to grow taller so I can use my hedge trimmer and cut them in one go.

Actually no one really goes in my backyard anymore. I do not barbecue so no one comes for an outdoor meal either.

I have my chairs and a little table for the times I want to read outside and get some sun.

So garden work goes on. 

#workinginthegarden#plantingsomepots#veggiestobeplanted#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

SOLO EATING GIVES AN OPPORTUNITY TO OBSERVE CUSTOMER BEHAVIOURS

 I went for a late breakfast at Sunset Grill in Vaughan after my walk and planting some pots in the front.

It was one of the last places Adolph and I went for breakfast before we didn't anymore. Since yesterday was the anniversary of my wedding, it seemed fitting to go somewhere that reminded me of him.

May 16 1971 we are on a plane to Vancouver then another plane to Hawaii for our honeymoon.

I ordered my usual- French Connection- eggs, hash browns, bacon, sausage and French toast.

So as I drank my coffee and later ate my food, I made some observations.

The two women in the table near me were former staff of Mackenzie Health where I had worked for 16 years before retirement. They have aged like I have. I did not say hi as I was not sure they would remember me.

A couple sitting together both playing on their cellphones and not talking. Eventually the man put his phone down but she was still on hers. I thought a married couple not relating. Not talking. Out for a breakfast together but not really together. As a widow, I wished I had my spouse to talk to me.

The table by the wall and front window had two older men, one with a Brtiish accent and the other was American. They were discussing weather as a Meteorologist would discuss weather. They were talking about prediction and forecasts. I think the one man might be Reid from the Anglo Celtic blog I follow. He had given a webinar on weather and family history a few months ago. He was also telling the man about how Pierre Polieve got his current seat in Parliament. If the man was Canadian he would have known the story.

Since I could see out the window, I observed some customers coming to the restaurant.

My waitress Anat was sweet and attentive. 

My venture out solo was good. I was hesitant to go but I am trying to get out of my comfort zone and do more activities alone.

Sunset Grill has been a place where I have gone with Adolph, Father's day with the family and just random occasions.

It felt comfortable and I will go again.

Now my next goal is Montanas for dinner sometime.

Yes I can enjoy my own company. 

#sunsetgrillinvaughan#eatingsolo#observingotherpatronsinarestaurant#myususalfrenchconnection#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

BLUE JAYS GAME FOR MOTHER'S DAY

 Fun to see our Blue Jays play.

Rogers Centre.

With my daughter, son-in-law and four of my grandchildren.

The excitement of the crowd. The downtown atmosphere.

Taking the Go Train from Aurora.

All is all a good day with family.

#bluejaysgamewithfamily#rogerscentre#downtowntoronto#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

RAPTORS GAVE IT A RIDE FOR US AND DRAKE WAS THERE

 Game 7 did not go the way all of Toronto or even Canada wanted.

But the Raptors made the city and country proud.

Drake who is one of their biggest fans and always has been was there supporting the home town team.

So like we say about all our teams, next year!

I still say that about the Toronto Maple Leafs.

We do love our home teams and all the Canadian teams that make us proud.

#raptorswentoutingame7#drakeraptorsbiggestsupporter#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

MAY- MY FAVOURITE MONTH

 Warmer weather.

Spring bulbs.

Trees starting to burst in greenery.

Just the beginning of garden beauty.

#springbulbs#maymyfavouritemonth#lovethegreenery#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

HOW TO DEAL WITH UNSOLICITED ADVICE

 How do you deal with unsolicited advice?

Have you been somewhere and just chatting about something, and someone has to jump in suggesting a better way or a different opinion on the matter? Even insinuating that you are wrong to have done whatever it was incorrectly. 

I was at my granddaughter's volleyball tournament and was telling an acquaintance about how much fun it was. Her granddaughter also plays volleyball. Even before the words were out of my mouth she suggested you could watch on the Volleyball You tube channel. No acknowledge that being at the games must have been fun.

I honestly try to listen to what others have to say before I feel I should jump in with advice or even just a comment.

Most of us are competent individuals who have lived a little and well probably know a lot. 

I find many suggestions made are often old news. 

Or if I have done things a certain way, the person knows someone who has done it better or bigger or whatever.

It brings me to an important point. Sometimes I do not like people. I do not want to be challenged, criticized or made to feel I do not do things the right way whatever that may be.

So if I limit my social interactions then it does not need to occur. Just saying.

#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro#barbaramaydimambro#unsolicitedadvice#notaskingforanopinion#listeningtoothers

CARING FOR MY LOVED ONE WAS A GREAT PURPOSE OF LIFE-BUT QUESTIONED BY OTHERS HAS BEEN CONFUSING

 "Well you are just a caregiver!" was a comment made to me when I was asked in my early days of retirement.

I was being with him, caring for him and just loving him. My husband Adolph was ill and needed love and support.

It was such purpose in my life. More purpose than any job, current activity or hobbies.

Yet when I still say that about the time I spent in the last years of his life, I get questioned or reminded well not everyone feels that way.

Even recently during Caregiver Awareness day or month or whatever it was, the stress of being a caregiver was emphasized. There was no acknowledgement that for many people it is so loving and purposeful.

Words like burden.

Not having a life.

Missing out.

Costing financially.

Rarely is it said that the person caring does it out of love not duty.

Yes there may be some who do it out of duty.

There may be many people who resent the care needed. There may be many people who not only are relieved when the person dies and perhaps glad.

I have a friend who knew a wife who had to help with her husband's cancer. She resented not being able to travel. So when her husband died she was glad she could travel again. She felt she had missed out on travel. I looked at my friend and did not comment. Being with Adolph was not missing out on travel, he was my life at the time. I could not care less about travel at that time.

I still feel like a boat without a rudder. Yes I have family and activities and go to events and read and write and do whatever the hell I want.. But does it give the purpose I felt when I could have my husband with me and being, caring, loving him. The relationship gone. 

So again recently when I had met up with an old workmate and was trying to explain the purpose of being there for a loved one. The answer was not everyone feels that way. And the look in her eyes of disdain like it did not mean much.

So do you care and love someone who needs you? Does it give you purpose?

#purposeofcaringforalovedone#beingthereforalovedone#missingmypurposeinlife#notjustacaregiver#caregiverisnotadirtyword#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro