THE WIDOW SERIES-FIRST COUGAR DATE

 Funny. I wrote this story in 2020 before Adolph died. The idea of many older women wanting to be a cougar. Actually in my younger days, someone had mentioned me as a cougar. I did not know what it meant at the time.

First Cougar Date

They called her a cougar and she believed it. Feeling so vulnerable after George died. It was a grueling 3 years providing his care but she did it.

So getting back on the horse. Well just going out of the house. Those short walks became longer walks. Not liking the gym, bought some weights for the house. Not eating as much, the weight just fell off.

Going through all the stuff, trying to decide- stay or move.

So during those trips to the bagel store for the grandchildren bi-weekly, the young man approached her.

So here she was. Out for a quick meal in Milestones. A favourite restaurant with great steak and other options close to home.

Going to the washroom first. She hesitated as she pulled up her undies overhearing a conversation.

“Do you believe it? That ugly old broad really thinks Jason wanted to go out with her?”

Her friend replied” He lost the bet and had to date her. If he beds her then he wins the $1000”.

“ But how could someone that old think a 38 year old would really want to screw her?”

“ Now, Suzie, maybe she doesn’t have a mirror?””

They both laughed hysterically.

“ Look at us. We are the ones that could have any man or men at any age!!”

Helen was stunned. They were talking about her. I guess they had not noticed after she had arrived, she had quickly gone to the washroom.

“Well we have a good view from the corner. Taking selfies we can pretend it is for us and get some of them.”

“I hope he tries to kiss her in the restaurant. Then I get a bonus bet won”

Jason had approached her on several occasions at the bagel shop.

Yes she started to go there at the same time and well sort of wanted to see him or just talk with the nice young man.

Widowhood brought lonely feelings. Well lots of them.

Just feeling like a has been.

Age 66 is not old but old enough that people your age discard you.

The married couples avoid you. Especially the women who cling to their man as if she would want that fat opinionated pig. Or the ones that did hit on her, wondering if she wanted some needed sex.

Most men her age wanted firm, younger women. As if they were firm. Don’t they notice their saggy balls! Well of course Viagra, the wonder pill for the older man.

Thinking. I have my toys and can take care of my needs, thank you very much. She was not looking for anyone. Having gone through the loss of a cherished spouse had been literal hell.

But Jason worked around there and it was not unusual to run into the same people.

Trying to remember where he worked. Some sub office of a larger company. He had mentioned it. So of course he would have other office mates his age.

Trying to clear her head. Think. Did you ever see him with other people? Did you see expensive cars in the parking lot?

What a stupid old fool I have been? He did often look over her shoulder as if he was seeing someone. Those voices. Did those young women work with them? How would they know about her?

To think they are all there to witness what? A date? A silly old woman wearing a summer dress that is too revealing. Well she did look good and often mistaken for a younger age.

The good thing about washrooms at restaurants is they are at the back and out of view.

So slipping quietly, she waited by the door until she caught a staff’s eye.

She waved at him to come here. She passed him a note and a $10.00 bill. Asked for the back way out. She asked him to give it to the man at the table on the left, second one down from the door. But give her 10 minutes to get a cab and make her getaway.

Not fun finding one’s way around a dumpster but made it to the street and actually hopped the bus that was conveniently there would take her away from the restaurant. She could get off further down the road and call a cab. Just wanting to be out of the area without hesitation.

She wondered about another Bagel shop to be on her list. She could avoid ever seeing that jerk again. She pulled her purse tighter to her chest. Don’t cry now, wait until home!!

Jason was wondering what was going on. He had waited a long time. Perhaps order a drink. He called the waiter over. A Coors Lite. And maybe a glass of wine for the lady.

Then the waiter said, another staff person wanted him to have this.

He opened the note.“ Well tell your friends’ dates, you were not my type after all!”

He looked over at his two buddies and the women duped. They quickly looked around the restaurant and outside.

Well did anyone win the bet??

 

Barbara Di Mambro

Copyright- February 2020

It is not unusual for there to be an age gap between partners. People think of the man always needing to be older. But in life there are situations where the woman is older. Like the current President of France and his wife. 

Women being vulnerable is so prevalent in society but also being aware and strong.

One of the first stories I wrote. I had had it in draft for months before I completed it in February 2020. 

Hope you liked it.

#thewidowseries#firstcougardate#writingshortstories#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

THE WIDOW SERIES- The Plane in the Sky

 

I have had some many writing projects over the last 8 years since retirement. Genealogy stories, my memories of various areas of my life, some poems and a series of short stories/vignettes of widowhood. They are stories and often really not a reflection of how I felt and am feeling now. I needed to get out to get out of the habit of being too simple in my writing. My personal reflections of my journey with Adolph and our love are privately contained in my journal writing. The stories come from my imagination, my professional experiences and observances of people and life around me.

So I decided rather than leave the stories in a pile of hardcopy prints and files on my computer but to post them here in my blog.

So here goes with one my stories. 

The Plane in the Sky

I heard it at 540 am. It woke me up. Time to pee and just start my day.

The RED eye!

The plane from the West that flies over before heading to Pearson.

Reminded me of that trip west. Well it was the last trip we took.

Visiting family in Calgary then going to Banff and Jasper. The fun touring and photographing those beautiful landscapes. The glory of the Rocky mountains. The Alberta wild roses-so pink were everywhere. Loved my pictures of them.

I wanted to visit Drumheller but he didn’t. So we didn’t. He usually won when it came to couple’s decisions. Just old bones and fossils he said.

Looking back there were too many things that I did not do.

Like going back to get my Masters. He said you have the kids and my paycheck why do you want more.

Like going to Australia for a visit. Too far. Too many hours he said.

Buying a new car. Well it had to be one he liked. And I could not have the colour I wanted. Maybe my favourite colour-purple or light blue.  It had to be black. I hate black.

Grief is not always sad. Sometimes it is the regrets of a life unlived. Of not just compromise but just not having any wishes fulfilled.

Oh that trip west. It was when he first suspected something may be wrong. The stomach cramps began. He thought it was the food we were eating at family’s house.

He said his bowel movements looked different.

Trip to the doctor, the diagnosis, the treatment, then no more treatment. Then he died. It all happened within 8 months. But the time sped up and it seemed much shorter. I was there. I was the dutiful wife. Gave support to his family. They sure as hell did not give me support.

Now those wishes. They do not seem important anymore.

Or do they?

Do I want to go back to Alberta to see the bones? Would I consider Australia?

There are funds. Not rich but some money to go somewhere.

Would I go to Australia with the long flights? It occurred to me that I do a lot of nothing. Oh yeah I am busy with the busy things in life. But boring things. So a long flight could it be eventful? Then seeing that part of the world. It would have to be at least a couple of weeks due to the long flight and adjusting to the time change. So it is a yes. A resounding yes.

More education. What do I need with another degree at 61 years old? But then what am I doing with all the reading and wasting time on the computer. York University has adult learning courses. Online courses could be another option! Check it out. Another resounding Yes.

So Alberta is closer than Australia. So why not go for a short trip to test out travelling alone. Another resounding Yes. And to see the bones and fossils. And take some amazing photos of everything Albertan.

Do I want to be on my death bed and regret I did not fulfill some wishes?

Are there more short goals that I sacrificed to appease him? I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do that. His voice and words came back to me. Putting down so many suggestions. It became pathetic for me to think I did not do so many simple things.

Like the Helen Redding song I am woman I am strong! So why the hell do I not do the strong things in life. Why do I still feel I should stop myself from doing the simple things.

Well it has been 6 months. Is it too soon to act like an independent woman that I am? Am I supposed to be the grief stricken widow for the rest of my life to appease some social norm? Will his family think I am moving on too fast?

Do I give a flying fuck what they think? I think not.

Time to check the flights to Alberta. Maybe the next red eye could have me on it.

 

Barbara Di Mambro

January 27 2023

So what do you think? I will be posting more stories over the next week. Just cleaning up that pile of writing.

#widowseries#aplaneinthesky#writingfictionalstories#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

 

 

 

TULIP IMAGES EVERYWHERE IN RICHMOND HILL ONTARIO CANADA

 One of the main reasons I love May are the tulips.

A quick capture of tulips at the Library on my walk today. Pretty in pink.

Well not tulips but a tree in a beautiful pink show of colour.

#tulipsinMay#pinktree#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

KNOWING HOW TO GET AN APOSTILLE DONE FOR FOREIGN ENDEAVORS

 Okay three trips to Service Ontario to get an Apostille done.

So what is an Apostille? Basically verifying that a notarized document in Canada with an English translation can be verified for use in another country.

In my case, Italy for the sale of the land there.

So if anyone has any questions about the process, I am your person.

#apostille#documentsforuseabroad#sellingabroad#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

NOT TO OVERTHINK LIFE AND LEARN TO LIVE

 There are too many days lately that I want to be out of my head.

The concerns floating around in there  needing resolution. 

Lately, what do I do about the house. The complication with the road issue. I can not sell yet until that is resolved. 

Yes I know I need to downsize. The work is overbearing at times.

But there is an emotional layer. Adolph and I built this house together. He died here.

So to stop overthinking and just live can be a struggle.

How about you? Do you find yourself overthinking too many life events?

#overthinking#livinglifewithoutstruggles#ahousefullofloveandmemories#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

HEATED RIVALRY OR OFF CAMPUS-WHAT ONE WOULD YOU CHOOSE-WELL I CHOOSE BOTH

 Heated Rivalry came on Crave TV and the obsession began. The raves. The review. The cast.

Hockey players and their stories.

What made it so popular with women especially? Duh. Soft porn. Many women did not realize they could be aroused seeing two men having sex. 

Off Campus came to Prime May 13th. College and hockey and music and drama.

 Hockey players on a college team living in a frat house. Lots of sex and drinking and fun. Hockey and the presentation of how real hockey games occur. The friendships between them all.

What I liked about the story lines was how love evolved organically! Not through a dating site or speed dating but how people find each and begin a relationship.

Shane and Ilya started off as just casual male sex. Then it changed to care and eventual love.

The love story of Scott and Kip was just too endearing. 

Hannah and Garrett had a deal that helped them both get something they wanted that changed to a need to be together and then love.

All the characters- Dean, John, Jules, Justin and all the rest.

So why does a Senior lady like both shows so much. 

Well good clean entertainment. The cast in both shows clicked and as an audience member I felt the chemistry. Dealing with the dilemmas of old age they brought back memories of my youth. 

As a retired Social Worker, the social issues were presented tastefully and real.

The domestic violence Garrett knew. The rape for Hannah. The stories unveiled as they often are in real life. Logan's Mom with mental health issues. A layer at a time because the pain of all  is just too much. Like many traumas people do want to keep them buried in the past. But trauma has a way of creeping into the present.

Logan knowing why Hannah would not drink at parties with the subtle look at the open glass and giving a closed can drink to Garrett for Hannah.

Garrett as children often feel he had the trauma of helplessness and not being able to help his Mom. So real.

Dean the fun anybody's guy changing and wanting more.

Allie telling Hannah she was that girl and this girl and all the girls in between could have been said by a therapist. But it was girl power and friendship.

I found myself sad in Heated Rivalry when Shane's mom wanted forgiveness because he could not tell her he was gay. Like so many people coming out a bit at a time. Just wanting love and acceptance. Not knowing how to tell the people they love.

I must confess I have watched both shows several times with all  episodes and clips of my favourite scenes sometimes. It is something I do. I watch clips from several of my favourite romance stories as I navigate my life.

Filming both shows in Canada made it special. Heated Rivalry in the Hamilton, Ontario area and Off Campus in Vancouver, BC. Using local landmarks. I am sure UBC will never be the same again. And that cottage in Muskoka.

However, both BC and Ontario are the locations of many films and entertainment locations. Come back anytime.

Hockey. A Canadian symbol. Well I do have grandsons that play hockey so do spend lots of time at rinks.

What I really love is the cast from both shows have claimed some fame and notoriety in a wonderful way. Some Canadians, some Americans, an Aussie and well Ella Bright a British-American. I hope they all continue to grow in their professional life. Two actors with Italian last names caught my eye. Italian men can be sweet. A Toronto born actor too.

The music was so good by the characters. However I do hope the song in the finale by Ella makes it to the charts. It was so deep and meaningful

I do find it amusing that just Stephen Kalyn is a real hockey player and skates professionally. He would have so much to teach the others. I wonder how much teasing occurred regarding the skating skills of the other cast members.

I love the spotlight on Canada. It is a good and safe place to film. It seems all the crew contributed to the success.

All brilliant and talented. Their cast interviews from both shows are so much fun and delightful to watch.

Looking forward to Season Two of both shows.

#heatedrivalry#offcampus#hudsonwilliams#connorstorrie#ellabright#belmontcameli#filmingincanada#lotsofsexandlove#hockey#music#pubnight#socialissues#domesticviolence#sexualabuse#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

MORNING WALK ON A HOLIDAY MONDAY

 I like walking because it lets me be out and still in my head.

I observe. Listen to the birds. Observe traffic flow.

I walk through Granpa's park and give a little hand kiss to the plaque on Adolph's bench. Actually I am just checking to make sure the plaque is still there.

30 minutes with my 2lb weights.

I like this walk as it is not far from home so I could get back quickly in a pinch.

The trees are in bloom. Tulips are up. The air is fresh.

Early morning is my favourite time. Less people and traffic. Although on  a work day there are lots of cars and people at the relevant bus stops where I walk.

So exercise. Meditative thinking. 

Makes me feel like I have accomplished something for my body.

#morningwalk#exercise#theparkplaqueforAdolph#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro