EVEN SMART PEOPLE GET FOOLED

No one can watch their back constantly. Or know that some people will be con artists of various levels. If your Achilles heel is known then someone may just attack it. So if you do get duped about something or anything do not beat yourself. Learn from it and try to find ways to help others to learn too. Trusting, caring people can be the most vulnerable.  You know what they say, there is no fool like an old fool!

HONESTY-BASIS FOR TRUST

Reading some quotes today I came across one from Mark Twain- "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." Liars have to keep their stories straight. Exaggerators do not get believed anyway. So if the truth is told then like Twain said, no needing to remember. It does not mean one must share all personal information with everyone. Rather than lying, just say I do not wish to discuss that or I would like to change the subject or just give a glaring stare- the person would surely back off! Being honest with people we love and not hiding any truths is good. Not telling is okay. For example, if someone is on a vacation and something happens, it can wait until the person's return. Non-urgent matters do not necessarily need to be shared instantly. It is okay not to have everyone's personal information that is not necessary to a relationship. My children, for example, do not need to know how much I have in my bank account nor do I need to know their financial business. Some information is need to know. Besides personal boundaries respect honesty too. Being honest in relationships brings trust. I trust you will share what you need to share and I will not ask for more. Husbands and wives share more anyway. What is shared between them is not fodder for larger conversations. Private moments should remain private! Funny stuff if both agree can be shared. Like the time my husband tried to call me on his cell phone and he had grabbed his glucometer instead off the counter! There are people who do believe lying is okay! As long as it gets them what they need, there are no repercussions! For me, honesty works. Finding a way for little children to believe in Santa, the tooth fairy, and the Easter bunny is tough! Wanting them to have magical moments without lying takes creativity! Well I do not know if I would venture to creative honesty, it is not really honest enough, is it? Be as honest as possible in situations works! Like I said if you can't be honest then just do not share anything with those that do not need to know! What do you think? Are you an honest person? Do you try to be real with others?

LOOSE LIPS

Sink ships is an amazing statement. When trusted with confidential information, the important consideration is to tell no one. When someone has shared with me, I always finish the conversation by stating " you know I will keep this confidential." If it is a counselling session, it is a given. Conversations with friends, colleagues that reveal very private matters should be kept private. It is up to the person to whom they share their lives. Remember knowledge can be power for some people. Be careful who you let through your front door! Isn't it interesting no matter where you work, how the rumours start and what the rumours might be? I love it when the rumours are so off base, it brings tears of laughter to my face. I often ask the question- why do you need to know? In my profession, so much personal information is discovered about people that others' problems or pain are not spectator sports!!! Does it make me feel better if someone's life sucks? Not really! I have learnt from a young age to keep my friends close but my enemies closer. It has always been on my bucket list to be a trusted friend and luckily I too have some friends that are trustworthy!

TRUST

I was watching a young singing celebrity interviewed by a Canadian. She was discussing how her music reflects her feelings and thoughts about life. How she wrote her own music and lyrics. The interviewer asked if she is ever cautious about sharing so much with the world? She missed the question and continued to talk about her latest album. I understood his question. The celebrity is sweet, young and somewhat naive to believe the world to be that trusting. In my training as a counsellor/therapist trust is a huge component of the therapeutic process. How to gain trust! How to recognize trust! How to keep a person's trust! Yes, be friendly, be nice but we do not have to trust everyone. We can allow the time to decide if we trust a new person or not. Honestly, not everyone is to be trusted. Being a good, honest person does not mean the rest of the world thinks the same way. Trust needs to be earned and honoured. If you are trusted with someone's information then keep it confidential. It is okay to leave a situation if trust has been broken. Trust is huge. We often forget how huge until we are caught in a vulnerable situation. So be careful to whom you share your feelings and thoughts. Definitely, be careful about anything financial. Have there been times your trust has been broken? Are you someone others can trust? What is your definition of trust?

FRIENDS

In our lifetime we have the joy of making friends-new, old and in between. They know our history and is often said, love us anyway. No explanation when they're needed, just listen, know what we need. When a friend dies, the loss can be so overwhelming. Not replacable. New work buddies, vacation mates, will come into our lives. I am a good friend. I like to be there for others. I like to know I can be trusted and feel honoured when I am empowered with that trust. Sometimes we are lucky meeting someone new and it is as if we have known that person all our lives. There are people I wish were here today. I really miss them- their voice, their thoughfulness, their friendship. Is there a friend you are missing today? Has someone given you the friendship you need? Are you a good friend? What would our lives be without the friends who have crossed our paths?