THE RESCUE SYNDROME

Exists in many different circles. No matter how much is done for someone there always seems to be more needed. Helping those to help themselves is adherent in my profession. However, if there are unfixable chronic items, the focus is on the areas that can be assisted. What could be chronic- old age, empty nest, illness that is debilitating, etc. If you feel sorry for someone then the line is crossed. Everything is not fixable! My dilemma comes working with some individuals who think they alone can fix everything in the patient's, family's and friends' lives. Do you think it can be annoying? Is it fun to work beside a constant crusader for everything- Not! A good clinician regardless of the field, knows clinical boundaries and works with the team to determine a good treatment plan. Frankly, in most situations there are few solutions to any problem and a team consensus works well. We have all worked for micromanagers who must be involved in every detail of the team's undertakings. We have had or know of a mother or father who must control and be involved in every aspect of their child's life. Marriage has rescuers. Friendships have rescuers. After awhile the rescuer starts to notice how people pull away. Everyone likes the opportunity to figure out what needs to be done. The good therapist is a facilitator, not a solution adviser and a takeover champion! The rescuer always tries to make others feel guilty because no one's efforts are quite as good! Actually, I find it boring! I like my work where a person can be heard then perhaps guided to find solutions for life that work for that person not what I think should work. My efforts are just an instrument not the be all and end all! I question where does the need to rescue originate? Why does the rescuer not trust others to assist with the solutions? What is quite funny is Social Work has the reputation of trying to save the world! Actually, a good Social Worker works with their client group to assist, direct, encourage a course of action but does not rescue! What is needed is assessed and what are chronic issues are filtered! Are you a rescuer? Do you like that role? Do rescuers annoy you? Do you ever play helpless so you can be rescued?

THE CHEERLEADER

We all need champions in our lives. Someone who just supports us and says job well done. Keep going, you're doing great. Nice to have you in my life. Recently, I encountered a person that was a mentor to me in my early career. Loved his style of managing a difficult moment. Questioned in a supportive manner. Good energy. Some days I hope to be that person to other people. But sometimes the negative energy around me makes it quite difficult. So I try to become my own cheerleader. Calm your energy, it's not personal, step back and listen to the other person- there's more than one point of view. I was a cheerleader in High School. Then I could do a high kick into the splits- well if I tried that now I would hurt something- very badly!!!!!!! Are you a cheerleader? Did you have cheerleaders in your life? Do you find cheerleaders annoying?