NANA SAYS REPORT CARD TIME IS STRESSFUL FOR PARENTS

Everyone wants and thinks their child is brighter than the rest. The report card arrives and gives a reality check of one teacher's assessment of your child. So there are not all A's or excellent or however your school system grades your child. The gifted child at age 7 does not necessarily mean the same child will ace High School and be a college grad at age 16. There may be some social expectations that are not being met! Yes it is great to read early but the rest of the pack catches up eventually! The child that must study to get good grades actually learns how to learn and retain information. Learns how to work for what he/she gets1 Rather than expecting everything is just too easy and becomes bored at learing! Creating a home environment where the parents role model reading, studying and creative thinking is as important or more important than any classroom. Manners are taught at home! Reading out loud to your children! My girls had a principal that insisted all grades- yes even the Grade 8's -had the teachers reading out loud every day! Steven Spielberg stresses reading anything and everything as a way to spice up creative thinking! Back to the report card. Be proud the child received a C in a subject. Why? There is room for improvement and the chance to help that child get a C plus next time. Good grades in the early years do not mean the child is automatically Harvard material! A well rounded- academic, social, musical, emotional, spiritual, person is what we are aiming to raise. Ask any adult about the "smart people" around them! Are there any social inappropriateness? Ask the parent of a Special Needs child  when they celebrate the small milestones! As the parent you have the opportunity every day to work and Play with your child. Yes play! Play provides a world of opportunities for learning! Congratulate your child for the effort! Ask the parent of teenagers! If they went to school every day and did not skip- well that is a huge accomplishment!

FINDING TIME IN THIS BUSY SEASON

Can you start to feel the panic in this busy season of trying to get everything done? Well slow down, take a deep breath, make a list and really decide what are the priorities. Leaving anything to the last minute works for some people! Not for me and many others. Everyone has the same 24 hours in the day! Many stores now have extended hours to accomodate shoppers! But is the season really about shopping? As we head into December, are you trying to do too much? For whom? And why? What traditions are really important to you?  Is there someone ill in your family that you want to spend more time giving support and company? It is the thought that counts, so they say! So what are your thoughts? Rather than just a list of items to buy. Make a list of what is really important to you during this busy season. For me family, trying to visit some people before Christmas, and enjoying the Christmas lights- maybe visit some nice neighbourhoods to see them. Photographs! What about your list? What would it include?

FRESH- LIVING IN THE MOMENT

Do you ever think the word fresh really means living in the moment? You're a breath of fresh air. Fresh fruit, fresh vegetables- go to the farm for fresh eggs! Don't be fresh with me young man! Go outside to get some air- it's stuffy inside! Your freshman year at university! New or renew! Adolph made homemade spaghetti using those fresh farm eggs for Natasha's birthday dinner! Makes it taste better! Is there a time every day to refreshen what we do? Lately, I have been experiencing the boredom factor in several areas of my life. How about you?  Looking at what I have and refreshing my thinking has helped to find some renewel! Decorating for Christmas brought some changes! Declutted my office space at work! And you? Make a fresh start every day! Decide to add new and let go of old! No long range plans-just a look at today! Is there a new idea or tradition to add to your festive season! Or revisiting an old tradition making it fresh! Does the word fresh conjure up any thoughts or ideas for you? Are you feeling fresh right now?

MY PURPLE CHRISTMAS WREATH- PART TWO

Making my Purple Christmas Wreath comes in stages.Choosing a variety of shapes and sizes from my pinecone pile will add texture and depth to the wreath.

With my wire wreath circles and pinecones, I go to the next. Finding a large tub or container to soak the pinecones is important.
Why soaking? To shrink them and have them close up.

Taking the wet cones, the creation of the wreath begins. Pushing some cones through wire! Placing some on top but attaching with a twist tie, string or wire- you can use the wire hooks for ornaments.
In the drying process that can take several days to dry and expand into the wire, patience is important. The more the pinecones are shoved into the wire, the tighter they are.

MY PURPLE CHRISTMAS WREATH-PART THREE

My purple Christmas wreath has been made in stages. Finding the pinecones! Soaking the cones and placing them on the wire wreaths! Waiting for them to dry and be secured to the wire, the final process begins.
I bought some decorative items at Michael's craft store. Since I have quite a supply of craft items at home, I perused my stash finding items from old corsages and little purple bulbs to use.

I placed a couple of these purple poinsetta items, used some sparkly glue in a variety of colours to rub on several pinecones, added some pieces from the old corsages and the little bulbs.

The picture shows some of the details of the wreath. The bulbs were attached either through the wire or directly on the pinecones, fastened by bulb ornament hooks. The glue glitter gives a little enhancement to the pinecones.

It is rather simple for an indoor look. I only have one layer of pinecones for this wreath. If you want to make a thicker one than add more pinecones. Even adding a hanging item in the middle could make the wreath look bigger. A bow! A little teddie! Another favourite item! Your choice! Homemade wreaths are so personal and add to any holiday decor! What do you think? Doesn't it look nice against my brick fireplace in my family room?

MY PURPLE CHRISTMAS WREATH- PART ONE

I love trying new projects each Christmas. So this year I decided to make a purple wreath for my family room that will have a purple and white theme.

There are always a variety of pine cones available in the area to use in projects. Some stores will sell a bag of 6 for $2.00 or more. So finding your own throughout the year and storing them in a dry place allows for material for many projects. If kept inside, remember there can be little bugs in them. Heating for a brief period in the oven on a very low temperature kills them or use a bug spray in a closed plastic bag to make sure the pine cones are okay.

I like to use wire wreath circles for my pinecone projects. These were bought at Michael's Craft store. I am sure you can find some at any craft store near you as well.

So with the wire and pinecones, I'll proceed to the next stage.

BLACK FRIDAY-ARE YOU SHOPPING?

Shopping has become a value in our society! Generations have always shopped for a bargain. Why not? Bigger bang for your buck! Here in the GTA many people head to Buffalo for the bargains! But wait-many local stores and online shopping have Black Friday right at home! For the diehard the trip south with the lineups at the border and the duty tax on items on the return home, I am told is worth the effort. Perhaps for the large ticket items but I have never worried about the $8.00 T-shirts being worth the effort. Clearance racks, shopping mid-season and having emails sent to my home with the Wednesday specials have landed me some good bargains- with little effort. If I spend enough online shopping, no shipping charges and it comes right to my door. Actually books are great to buy that way as the trip to the bookstore to find an obscure clinical text is avoided. For me bookstore visits should be to browse and take my time when I am not in a hurry. Or do I just not like to shop with crowds anymore! I am the one if the store opens at 7:00 a.m. in the holiday season to be the first there and finished by 7:30 a.m. I never mind waiting for the door to open- arrive early! Bring a coffee! People watch! So what are you doing Black Friday? Did you find a local bargain or have you travelled south? Hope you found all the bargains you were hoping to find? No matter where you shop today- the economy has a boost!

HATS AND SCARVES FOR THE SEASON

I love knitting and crocheting between busy activites in my life. Waiting for a kettle to boil, knit a row. Watch some TV, work on the crocheted baby blanket. Busy hands make lovely products.

I like to make the basic hat with variation. I can add buttons or animal faces-popular with the little ones these days. Crocheted scarves go faster. Variety of colours on one hat makes it fun. And those little leftovers of wool can add a little flair to a row.
Many gifts have included my works and sometimes I am able to make a sale!
Hand work is also very therapeutic. It allows nervous energy to be channeled in a postive way. I am still teaching my little granddaughter to knit.
Do you like to do activites with your hands? Wood carving is fun. Painting. Crafts of any nature. What is your favourite?

NANA SAYS SHARE THE LOAD IN THIS BUSY FESTIVE SEASON

The Christmas season brings so much pressure and stress to take in as much as possible. Shopping, parties, gift wrapping, house decorating and even several parades. Dragging children-young and old around malls shopping can be reduced by leaving them at home with the other spouse or using people- like Nanas in your life. Leave them with a friend so you can reciprocate and babysit the other children to give that parent a chance to shop. Baking groups-if you still bake- make several dozens of one kind of cookies or squares and the group does the same sharing with you. These modern times bring so much online shopping. So after putting the little ones to bed, go to the computer and shop. Even this Nana has used the new way at least 3 times this season. Being on email newsletters and flyers bring the deals to your home. Not interested just delete. Decide what is really important- so planning and more planning. Most young parents I know already have those Christmas pictures done for Christmas cards! So not procrastinating really helps!
Many places have gift wrapping services for a fee and often to a charity! Advise the stressed person in your life to take advantage of this service! Back to children- create magical moments by having a home with things to touch, seasonal books to read and a creative corner. Gingerbread house kits are a fun project to do together. My house includes my big touchable items. The little breakable ones are not displayed so the house can be enjoyed by my grandchildren. Besides there is less dusting! Share the load! Family dinner and parties can be the pot luck fun! In some cultures, there has to be one superhero trying to cook for 40! Advise the person times have changed and everyone can bring a dish! Nothing worse than the huffing and puffing of the stressed cook! So make your own list of how to share the load! If the load is just too heavy then decide what is really important and put the rest aside! What are your strategies for this wonderful, festive season? Do you have a Nana in your life? Or even a grandpa or a papa to help? If not come on by and I'll help you out!

SEE THE WHOLE PICTURE

Did you have someone in your academic world that influenced your thinking? I did. Ray Godfrey, one of my professors when I was studying my Masters of Social Work at the University of Toronto( 1973-1975) taught one of our core counselling courses. She had been a nurse during World War Two then studied for her Social Work degree, served in the community before becoming a professor. One clinical piece of advice she gave us- "no matter how busy you are in your job, every once in a while lift up your head and really look around you. See what is there!" In health care, we often are reminded not to work in silos. We connect with others- even though our professional jobs are unique. I see now she was warning us about the politics of any place. Be part of the planning and evaluation. See the trends. Be one of the trends! Climb high and look down! Be down and look up! And watch your back! Ray was also a bit of a character. She wore rings on every finger. Every time an ambulance went by if we were in class, she would cross herself! Is there someone you remember who taught you well? Ray was just one of many people I knew. Perhaps I will share others with you! Perhaps you can tell me your stories of wonderful people you encountered!

THE CHANGING LANDSCAPE

As the seasons change, so does the landscape. The summer lake becomes the fall lake with colder waters, soon to be frozen over by winter ice. Like our lives, the view is still so beautiful! Look around you and pick a scene then visit it, photograph and reflect on it! Each time what do you see! Really look! Record your observations! I see layers of clouds. Lake Scugog. Port Perry on the left side. Blue water. Feels cold to me. The green replaced by brown. A country drive with a purpose! Something larger than I! Do you see something more?

A POSTCARD FROM NEW YORK CITY

My daughter Sonya has a good friend with family in New York. During her teens she had the opportunity to visit the beautiful city. It is still on my bucket list to spend some time there.

On August 10, 1995 she sent us this card- "Hey Mom, Dad & Tash! The weather is beautiful here about 85 F and sunny. New Jersey is nice and I am looking forward to going to Upstate, Long Island and especially New York City. Tomorrow Becca and I are going to a Fleamarket in Long Island. Charlie and Lisa are great people and they are making my trip quite enjoyable. Amanda (the baby) is so adorable. Well got to go now. Miss you, Love you, Sonya XO"

Other family members have visited this beautiful and famous American city. Of course with the memory of September 11, it remains in all our hearts.
If you want a postcard featured here, email me at abdm@rogers.com and I will send you my address so you can send me a postcard.

REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOMEONE

Was a beautiful line in an ad. In life we need touch. Little children crawl all over us. Everyone wants to hold the baby. Teenagers push us away. As we age, our intimate moments may decline. A good morning hug! A good-bye kiss, a cuddle on the couch, reading side by side to children before bedtime or sitting closely together gives opportunities for touch. What about the patient sick in bed? What about the elderly person who has lost a spouse? Who fills the gap for touch in their lives? Pets are good but take work. So giving your 86 year old grandmother, a dog that needs care and walking may be good for touch but create other problems for her! How can you put some good touches back in a person's life? Holding a patient's hand at bedside works! Shaking hands work! The hairdresser massages the head with a good shampoo! Hockey brings body checking- hum, maybe a different touch! Family group hugs! Holding hands! A good psychologist once said people need 12 hugs a day for maintenance! Sometimes though we may need to be careful- people with dementia or others with paranoid thinking may misinterept touches.  It is more challenging to reach out to them. Could the blankets, slippers, sweaters be warm and fussy bringing some nice comfy touches in their lives? Little children may carry a favourite toy for comfort. Should we be giving our elderly a stuffed animal too for comfort? Does lack of touch lead to loneliness? Touching- room for thought!

INSPIRATION IN RUSSIAN

A Russian born colleague gave me a chocolate bar when she was leaving the job. She told me the title means Inspiration and it was very good Russian chocolate. She wanted me to know I was the best Social Worker she had ever had on a team and as a person. I inspired her. The gesture was very sweet but also very humbling for me. To know I had inspired her made my day. In my life, there have been people who have inspired me. Inspiration can mean a force on poets, artists, musicians, stimulating creative activity, excited thoughts etc. Thank you to my colleague for such an acknowledgegment. Have you inspired someone? Have you been inspired by someone? Are there events in your life that have lead to creative endeavors? Do you recognize others need to create and allow for those moments? Inspiration- a noble virtue! Let's have more of it around us!

NANA SAYS CHILDREN NEED MAGICAL MOMENTS

Childhood can bring a belief in the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. Is it right for little ones to think there is something magical? I think so. It helps to believe in things beyond ourselves. Like any faith group, that prays to a diety-to believe. With the Christmas season upon us, Santa Claus is huge. To see the expectations of children, believing is joyful for this Nana. I loved playing Santa when my children were little. For those less fortunate, we all can help make the magical moments happen by our toy and food contributions to our favourite local charities. Magical! Helping people believe! Unfortunately, older children may want to spoil the magic for the younger children in any family. Teaching them to respect the little ones' beliefs can take creative parenting! The magic of Christmas with the birth of the Christ child! Telling the story over and over again! Having a creche children can touch and play with the figures! Creating magical moments in your home! Inside all of us is the child wanting to recapture those magical moments! By being part of the grandchildren's world, knowing the magical moments can help children lead to a stronger faith in life and people. When there are tough moments, recapturing those memories of childhood can carry a person for a lifetime. Even as an adult, when love happens again and for example, an opportunity to marry later in life becomes a magical moment! What are your memories of childhood beliefs? Who created the magical moments for you? Are you the one that makes those moments happen for your family? My magical moments come with the love of family and the opportunity to be around little people! How about you?

LETTERS TO OUR ARMED FORCES

One of my annual Christmas commitments each year since the first Gulf War in 1991 is to write to our troops wherever they are serving in the world. This year there were 13 letters. Some of the missions are closing and our service men and women are coming home. I have a collection of responses I have received over the years from a few of the people serving. Insight is gained into the activities they are doing. It is easy to get the addresses from the National Defense of Canada site. There is a way to email the troops that takes very little time if you are interested. Before September 11th, I would send small packages but now only family members can do that. Since my letters go to any Canadian Forces Member, only postcards are allowed but I fold my letters with tape holding the sides for mailing so they are accepted. You can peek in the sides! My energy is low this year so I almost talked myself out of doing it as there are dirty corners in my house to be cleaned. But the job is done! Pushed myself and hope that the greetings from the Di Mambro family may help someone somewhere! Here's to our Armed Forces and the families! May God Speed and keep you out of Harm's Way!

MONDAY BLUES?

Facing Monday after a productive weekend, is always easier than feeling nothing was done. Sometimes I go to work to relax. I have just one job there. At home, like all working people there are layers of work. General tidy-up, total room clean, yard waste bagging, continue to tidy the garage, cooking and of course tending to the grandchildren. With those with young children, lessons!! And only two days to do it! This time of year decisions on Christmas shopping, putting the lights up and party planning-start to take some energy.
Finding time to go for a power walk with my camera captured  more of the fading Fall images. I like to feel there is some creativity happening too.

Knowing that being outdoors can continue with the cooler weather. It is manageable. I must say I do not like that the days are getting shorter. It really does start to affect our moods. There is something about light and dark. Leaving home  and coming home for most people means driving in the dark both ways. Saps some energy for all of us.

Finding ways to keep energy levels up with low light is always a struggle at this time of year. Did you have a productice weekend? Are you finding the low levels of light challenging for your mood? What are some activities you do to keep your energy going?

A POSTCARD FROM NOVA SCOTIA

I had the opportunity to see some of Nova Scotia when my sister and her husband lived there in 1973. They were is the Wolfville area about an hour from Halifax, the captial. My husband Adolph came through Halifax in 1959 when he immigrated from Italy. The port- Pier 21 is now a historic museum commemorating the soldiers who left there for the two world wars, the war brides who came to Canada, the immigrants and other significant historical events.
Cape Breton  at the northern end of Nova Scotia is a beautiful region in Canada and home to a wonderful singer-Rita McNeil.

My brother Reed was working in the Maritimes in 1964. He visited Peggy's Cove- an area that enthralls not only artists but droves of tourists every year. Reed wrote: "Hi All": Welcome to the above. Right now I am sitting in a Mustang in Amherst N.S. It's Saturday. Had nothing to do, so John and I came over to take some pictures. No word on when I leave Moncton. However: I will be home for Christmas no matter what.Will leave Dec. 23-1964 by Air Canada if not sooner. Love Reed dc VE2AES"
Of course the people are very friendly.
If you want a postcard featured here, email me at abdm@rogers.com and I will send you my address so you can send me a postcard.

GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

When faced with a crossroad in our lives, it can be a difficult decision to go in the right direction. With experience we learn that we can start down one road and if it is not taking us where we want to go, stop turn around, retrace your steps and take another road. Sometimes it is simply like  being lost on a car trip and needing to go back and ask for directions or read a map. Life should come with a map! Or even the wrong direction can create some opportunities for learning. Have you ever gone in the wrong direction? Did you learn anything?

11/11/11

It would be a fun day to have a special event like the birth of a baby. Why are we fascinated with numbers? We have superstitious one- like the number 13! Others cultures have their own lucky numbers! Things come in 3's! Our birthday numbers! Nicer to be 39 than 40! Little children will say I'm 4 and ahalf! Do you like the day with the special- 11/11/11? Are you planning anything special? Do you have a special number? Do you avoid a number? Math plays with numbers and equations all the time. Do you like math? It's my 13th blog for November- I see it as a positive sign!

REMEMBERING

To those that served throughout the generations- thank you. To Ernie, Ellie, Parkin, Norman, Jim- people in our family that honoured Canada with their service- from World War One to World War Two to the Afghanistan mission!
Do you have someone in your family that served in our armed forces? Do you have someone serving in our emergency services? Remember to say thank you!

THE CASSINO WAR MEMORIAL

Was an emotional experience for me. I visited there in 1991 on a trip to my husband's hometown- Cassino, Italy. I blogged about that experience November 1, 2010- Was I worth their sacrifice- Cassino War Cemetry and November 2, 2010- Cassino War Memorial Part 2. As we reflect on this Remembrance Week, I always remember the visit there of seeing so many graves with Canadian service men from all parts of Canada. They made the ultimate sacrifice-gave their lives. Today we can consider the lives given in our current missions. The young men and women that will always be remembered and honoured by the families who will miss them. Many of our elderly veterans are grateful for the new generation of young Canadians who are honouring them due to the current losses. The Afghanistan and other missions have brought a new awareness to all of us. No one really wins a war when there are lives lost- whether military or civilans! May we remember all sides in the battles and pray together for more peaceful resolutions to conflicts!

NANA SAYS GIVE SIBLINGS INDIVIDUAL TIME

In our busy lives, it is much easier to try to do everything together. Give the children their baths together to reduce the bedtime routine. Drag everyone shopping together.  However children at different ages and stages need and want different activities. The baby sits and plays with the toys at his/her feet. The toddler wanders and explores. The 3 year old may sit and watch a movie or do a puzzle or want a book read. Then the imaginary play begins. So a 5 year old with an imagination gets frustrated with a baby. A teenager is bored watching his/her 8 year old sibling. Yes, children need to relate and respect each other. It is the parents that want them to get along all the time even though there are differences. Children of all ages can have chores and expectations to pull their weight. The 3 year old can put their shoes neatly at the door and take the dishes from the table to the sink. The older child can be expected to help at a different level- garbage duty, household tasks. But each child is their own unique person. For example, group family pictures are fun but remember to include individual shots of each person too. When one child has a birthday party, do something special with the other child or children. Don't compare intelligence. "Why can't you get A's in math like your sister?" Find the strengths in each child and nurture. I know-it takes time and " I am so busy!" Perhaps make a list on a daily basis of one simple activity to do with each child. Again, I know-homework can get in the way so perhaps, individual time with each child during homework time. Remember-do they have to do it together at the same table- individual spots may help. Would it reduce the fighting- probably! If there are two parents, then divide the time between the two of you. But alternate the tasks too! Each child does need special time with each parent. Do you find it difficult to complete all the work to be done every day? What have you found that helps to give your children individual attention? Have you noticed patterns when the fighting starts? What do you do about it? Does one parent do more for the children? Why do you think this happens? Are there simple changes you can make that would help? Tell me your thoughts!

WE STAND ON GUARD FOR THEE

Are words known to all Canadians. As we honour and reflect this week leading up to Remembrance Day, why not try to find a person on a memorial wall who died in one of the conflicts where Canadians served and research the background. Or simply visit a memorial, reviewing the names. It is not possible for everyone to attend a service. Or when travelling the Highway of Heros on the 401 in Toronto, remember those who served in our Afghanistan mission. Where can you go in your home community? Will you be attending a service? I think I will walk up to the memorial in Richmond Hill this week to pause and reflect.

THE BIGGER PICTURE

By looking out a window from several stories high in any building, we can see a broader view of any location. Like the picture above- trees, old train, new bus, modern buildings, people, garbage cans, circular city park and so on. Using our observation skills to determine what is there. But really looking! As we watch the scene it is in constant flux! In our lives it is a good exercise to take a step back, up, down or any direction, to gain some perspective and insight. For example, I took clusters of pictures from different stages of my life and family groups- my dad's side and my mother's side that had been in separate albums and put them under one roof- well it really is one album. To see my life together from one place. I weeded some pictures to give to others that may enjoy them better. Seeing a parent as a baby may be enjoyable to adult nieces and nephews. How many baby pictures do I need of my siblings? And duplicates? My view of my family has changed over the years. I am becoming the older generation very quickly as my parents are reaching the end. I find myself wanting to let go of some things but not sure what! When I climb a little higher and view again, it may become clearer! Do you like to take in larger views to reflect on your life? Can you just stop and see what is around you? Hurrying and missing parts of your life can be a habit! Can you find a spot that is enjoyable to you? Look at the picture again- do you see something different now?

A POSTCARD FROM EGYPT

I bought these postcards of Egypt years ago at any antique sale where other memorabilia was sold.  Egypt is on my bucket list of places to visit.
The card with the pyramids has writing on the front-May 24th- The waves of the desert are at our feet. Lawrence. The card is addressed to Miss Rosa Zellers, Alliance Ohio, U.S.A. It is difficult to make out the postmark but V.09 1:30 P.M. can be read-1909? V would be the latin 5. The message is simple- Cairo, 5/24. Reached here yesterday. Leave the 26th. L.H.S.
Travelling in the early 1900's meant someone with money may have written the card. As an Agatha Christie buff, these cards remind me of the settings in several of her books. I can almost hear Poirot solving a crime before lunch!
Have you been to Egypt? Were the pyramids spectacular? Did you enjoy the culture? Is it on your bucket list to visit?
If you want a postcard featured here, email me at abdm@rogers.com and I will send you my address so you can send me a postcard.

"IN FLANDERS FIELDS

The poppies blow"- is the first line of a poem written during World War One by a Canadian doctor, John McCrae. It inspired the use of the Red poppy worn proudly during the weeks leading up to Remembrance Day. John was proud of his poem's success  He died in January 1918 while serving as a physician at an army hospital.
Veterans Affairs Canada's website has valuable and insightful information about the Canadians' role in all the missions' served. For anyone wanting to review the history or research for projects it is wonderful source.
Many of my family members have served in both World Wars. A nephew-in-law recently served in Canada's mission in Afghanistan.
As we all wear our poppies proudly, it can be a reflection on past conflicts as well as a hope that current conflicts can have a peaceful resolution.
Are you honouring someone in your family who served when you wear the Poppy? Do you have a special story to tell?
"We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields."

AN ORDINARY LIFE

Is the title of some draft pages for a book I discovered during a family crisis visit out west while cleaning out my mother's desk. I perused a few paragraphs and put them aside to read at a later time. My mother always talked about wanting to write a book and have it published. I will probably put the pages in one of my many family history binders. Her recollection of her childhood in Toronto in the 1920's and 1930's will be useful information to other family members- siblings, grandchildren, cousins. So no book will be published but her efforts will not be wasted! Unfortunately, many children are not so kind as I. Many people clean out their parents' homes and throw out lots of little treasures without a second thought. It's junk! When my mother-in-law died 13 years ago, the grandchildren were given the opportunity to go through her personal items and take things that had meaning to them. For example,one of my daughters took a grey sweater she had knit. She still uses it as her comfy sweater with her PJ's. In our ordinary lives are momentos with meaning. Yes, items need to be weeded out. Items like books can be donated to charities or libraries. But did the person have a collection! I had a workmate once whose father had collected a vast number of books on Judaism- in English, Polish and Hebrew. She donated his collection to a leading university in Montreal. As we all know some books can be out of print and would be useful to students. A new home! My Dad when he passed away in 2007, had a collection of nature products- birds' eggs, stuffed ducks, butterflies etc.  that were dontaed to the Heritage Centre in Peterborough- it specializes in hunter and angler history in Ontario. My step-dad has many books on the Masons that will be given to an interested family member or find their way to the local Lodge. If pragmatic, such donations may warrant a tax receipt to help with the estate taxes.
Furniture often finds a new home. Many times will have actually increased in value. I have a desk from my Dad and an old Singer sewing machine from my husband's Mom in my home.
We are always warned when conducting genealogical searches to write up our notes and publish. Family members have often discarded all the efforts of their loved ones.
Even old letters and cards may give some interesting tidbits of long lost ancestors so take the time to review them. I found some letters and pictures my children had written to their grandparents that I will pass on to them.
What do you have in your ordinary life that could find a new home if your children and grandchildren were not interested? Have you had the experience of cleaning out a parental home? What did you save? Did you discover a secret?

TWO BETTER THAN ONE?

Being single has its merits. Newly divorced, never married, widower/widow,out of home for the first time on your own, trying to find yourself! Becoming a couple means bringing two different beings together with two different views of the world. If male and female-definitely two different views. Gay couples may have it easier-at least there are not gender differences! Opposites do attract and can make interesting combinations. If one is tough and the other soft, makes for a good combination- need both. As long as there are no power inbalances or abuse! What works for some couples, definitely will not work for others! Relationships evolve over time. What we wanted in our 20's can change in our 40's and change again in our 60's! Life experiences change the couple and relationship- grow together or grow apart or some just coast! When one person dies, can leave the surviving mate feeling lost! What works in your relationship, marriage? Why do you like to be part of a couple?

ARE YOU ON THE RIGHT TRACK?

Sometimes we all need to stop and reflect where our lives are headed. Coasting day by day can allow us to get through the day. The work week goes by and the weekend comes, only to start another work week. Fastidious daily goals can help to get things done, but does it bring satisfaction.? Concrete tasks can give a sense of accomplishment. They are necessary to keep order in our lives. But are you satisfied? Is there an artist wanting to draw? A photographer wanting to take another picture? A runner needing to run? A dancer wanting to dance? A hockey player looking for some ice? Is there someone else inside of you? On your list of concrete tasks, put " this will bring me satisfaction!" item! Then wait and see what happens!

NANA SAYS IF IT LOOKS LIKE A SMILE

It must be a smile! There is always a debate over newborns making smile like grimaces in their sleep and awake. It has always been said babies do not smile for weeks. Anyone with a newborn will beg to differ. "My baby smiled today!" is a common phrase of parents with a newborn. There will always be someone to tell you, "it's gas!" My question- does it really matter? Parents need to bond with their baby. The baby's survival depends on it. Babies are helpless! The bragging, the pictures, let me hold the baby are all essential. Babies need to be protected, fed, loved and to learn to trust the world. A smile is a social gesture! When that cute little face smiles back, it only increases the love! The best suggestion is to let the parents tell you about their baby. Look at the pictures. Be gracious. If they tell you their baby smiled for the first time, you just smile back and say " how precious is that!"

NOVEMBER ALREADY?

November brings the acceptance of in between- still Fall but not quite winter. The days are becoming shorter as the effect of less sunshine starts to affect us. Dark in the morning and early dusk!

We can feel fenced in! Not able to sit outside for meals but missing the outdoors! Trying to decide when to convert to the warmer outerwear and not the thin jackets. Boots are on standby! Seeing the first snowfalls in parts of North America and signing relief- not in my area yet! Although there can be many winter photo opportunities, I have an urge to drive, walk and capture as many pictures to use in my blogs before the snow flies. November allows us some time to do projects, early Christmas shopping ( only if you have not started), and to relax before the busy festive season begins. Just indoor work now as the garden is laid to rest! Sort of- leaves do keep falling-more raking. I may fill some blank spots in the garden with new bulbs. We have significant family birthdays so a little partying to do.
With renewed energy, to continue to work on the projects and finish some. Are you surprised November is here so quickly? I am. It has been a different Fall. I have to push myself to do what needs to be done. Do you ever feel that way? What do you use to keep going and doing? On yes- happy All Saints Day!