THERE FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I !

When discussing a case with a nurse from another country, he was concerned about the unfortunate details. He expressed how can people live like that? I stated, in English we have this saying- there for the Grace of God do I! It is 1 saying that says so much. Did God give us the right parents at the right time? Perhaps, but even children from very dysfunctional families have made their way and have positive adult experiences. Did God give us the intelligence and the discipline to study and work on a good education? Perhaps! Did he just direct us in the right direction- to make choices and not use any circumstance we have lived as an excuse to waste our life? If we reflect on situations in our lives and the choices made- no to drugs, social drinking and not problem drinking, exercise, patience, learning positive ways to deal with conflict, healthy eating, and the list could go on! Were all the choices ours? Or was there some little inner voice that guided us? I question why some people that used fraud, stole money from others, and still have very dishonest business practices end up with the bigger houses, more expensive cars, travel and a life style that the average person will never have! Not all good things come to good people! History tells us the story over and over! Do we make honest choices that lead us to a good life but not necessarily a monetary successful life? Perhaps! Then the whole concept of success would be fodder for another post! Did God bless me with a life worth living? You bet!

SEE THE WHOLE PICTURE

Did you have someone in your academic world that influenced your thinking? I did. Ray Godfrey, one of my professors when I was studying my Masters of Social Work at the University of Toronto( 1973-1975) taught one of our core counselling courses. She had been a nurse during World War Two then studied for her Social Work degree, served in the community before becoming a professor. One clinical piece of advice she gave us- "no matter how busy you are in your job, every once in a while lift up your head and really look around you. See what is there!" In health care, we often are reminded not to work in silos. We connect with others- even though our professional jobs are unique. I see now she was warning us about the politics of any place. Be part of the planning and evaluation. See the trends. Be one of the trends! Climb high and look down! Be down and look up! And watch your back! Ray was also a bit of a character. She wore rings on every finger. Every time an ambulance went by if we were in class, she would cross herself! Is there someone you remember who taught you well? Ray was just one of many people I knew. Perhaps I will share others with you! Perhaps you can tell me your stories of wonderful people you encountered!

YOUR KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR

Are you a knight in shining armour? Do you try to rescue people when needed? It's not just in fairy tales or the Middle Ages long epic poems that find people that rescue us- our doctors, teachers, nurses, police and fire people, military personnel, parents and even the odd social worker or 2 can be our modern heros. They get paid anyway. There are so many ordinary people in our lives and world that make a difference for the good. It does not have to be anything too special or over the top. Kind words to the store clerk, a good morning when encountering someone near your home, holding the door for that gentleman with his arms full, well you get the picture! Make sure you are a good Knight and not a Black Knight! Do good more often because you don't want the armour to get rusty!

THE WORDS WE SAY

Can create a memory for people. I was chatting with a young nurse who had returned from her maternity leave about a case where the patient had died that both of us had involvement. She remarked that my role as the Social Worker had been more important to the family. She only supported the patient. It made me think of a time in my life where the thoughtfulness of a nurse had made the difference. My father-in-law Joe had ALS- Lou Gherig's disease for 7 years. My mother-in-law, Concetta had cared for him while sustaining a fulltime job to support herself, spouse and mother-in-law. She cared for him doing the diapers when he was bedridden the last 3 years of his life. She pureed his food as the disease had atrophied his throat and he risked choking to death every time he ate. Many of her family and friends in my husband's Italian group were not the most supportive and often quite critical. Questions like- does your house stink from a family member wearing diapers did not actually help with the situation. At the end when he was hospitalized for the last day and a half of his life, it was while we were doing the death watch- that time when you stay with the loved one until the person passes away- that an amazing memory occur. It was two experienced nurses that were supporting us during the six hours. One nurse came in to turn Joe and noticed his body and skin. She looked at my mother-in-law saying did you provide this excellent care? I was 24 years old and knew nothing about skin care and how hard it was to keep the skin intact without sores or ulcers. Sometime later another nurse remarked about the same skin and how beautiful it was. In that short time two wonderful nurses provided more support and acknowledgement about the care Mama-Concetta had given her husband for 7 years than many other close family members. The small things we say and perform stay with the people we have contacted in our lives. If you think your small kindnesses do not count, well they do. My only regret to this day is not taking the names of those two nurses. For my mother-in-law it was the most validating moments. Professionals who understood the love and care she had given. I told this story to my young colleague stating the patient and family we supported that day through their death watch will always remember the care she gave. Do you have a memory of a professional being there for you when you needed him or her? Was someone nasty and you remember the negativity? For the professionals who read this blog, do you have a story to tell?