LEAP YEAR

Leap year always brings interesting possibilities. One more day before the first of the month bills are due. Special birthdays for leap year babies. Adding another day until Christmas. Astronomically correcting real times the earth rotates in a year! Or whatever the real scientists have to say! How did the name Leap Year originate? What not call it- add another day to the calendar? What are your thoughts? What would you call it, if we were going to change the name? Anyway, enjoy the day!

NANA SAYS WELCOME TO ALL THE LEAP YEAR BABIES

Some people think it is really cool to have a leap year baby while others find it disheartening for their little one. It is what it is- another joyous day to be born. I know several adults that would like to have been born on February 29th- then they would not have to lie about their age!! Hum!! I do not know anybody born on this date. Do you? How do they feel about it? Anyway Nana says a welcome baby born any day- even leap year is a wonderful addtion to the human race.

WRITING YOUR FEELINGS DOWN

In my youth I wrote poetry to express my feelings. I look at some of those poems now finding them lame!
The other day I found myself writing this poem

SLOW DOWN AND GRIEVE, IT'S OKAY
TO THINK ABOUT HER TODAY.

THE LAST FEW MONTHS OF PAIN
ARE OVER BUT THE FEELINGS REMAIN.

WHY THE SUFFERING, WHY THE DECLINE?
THE THOUGHTS AND FEARS WERE MORE THAN MINE.

SHE CHOSE THE MOMENT TO LEAVE
LETTING SOME DOUBTERS NOW BELIEVE.

HER LIFE WAS A NORMAL ONE
UPS AND DOWNS THEN SOME FUN.

GOODBYE FOR NOW SWEET MAY
WE WILL SEE YOU AGAIN SOMEDAY.

It helped in the moment and amazed me it just came from nowhere. Putting thoughts to paper, or drawing a picture or playing, writing a tune are some of the ways to process our feelings. I guess it does not matter if my poem is lame, it worked helping me get through a day. Have you processed your thoughts and feelings through writing or creating a functional item? Letting your true feelings emerge helps with any situation you are trying to muddle through! Tell me your stories!

DID YOU WIN AN AWARD DURING THE AWARDS' SEASON?

Now with the awards' season over, it is time to reflect on awards generally. Although we saw our fill of stars dressed in fabulous dresses, only a handful really won any big prizes. I just find it fun to watch until I need to turn off the TV to go to sleep. I have not made it to the end of any show yet this season!! In your life if you could give out awards, what would the award be and to whom would you give it? The best Mom, the best Dad, the best boss, well you understand what I am saying. Do you think you deserve an award for the best effort in any project or endeavor you are undertaking? Or do you think some of the awards are over rated? I like the Nobel Peace Prize as the ultimate prize. What are your thoughts? To award or not to award, that is the question?

A POSTCARD FROM VENICE-VENEZIA ITALY

A few years ago, Sonya and Andrew toured several European countries. At each stop, they sent postcards to family members.

While in Venice, they sent this card to Sonya's Nana and Grandpa Park.

Dated 06/07/07- July 7, 2007. It reads- " Ciao Nana and Grandpa! We had a wonderful 2 day stay in beautiful Venice- one of our favourite cities so far. Visited San Marco Square, did some shopping then ended the day with a Gondola Ride through the canals. We have lots of pictures to share! Hope all is well. Lots of love from Italy. Sonya and Andrew"

Grandparents always appreciate hearing from their grandchildren. A postcard is an easy quick way to keep in touch!

A good friend of mine was born near Venice and often describes the beauty of the area. I guess I have another place to see on my bucket list!

If you want a postcard featured here, email me at abdm@rogers.com and I will send you my address so you can send me a postcard.

A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

Is an expression that brings hope to those during a dark or stressful time. Keeping focussed that life will get better allows us to cope and to keep going. Sometimes it actually is not a real light but could be a person, an idea, a solution to the problem. In your dark moments, keep looking for the light as it could present itself in so many different ways. Perhaps you could be the light in someone's life. Helping a friend through a hard time. Offering hands on assistance. Just being there!

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM

Is one of those English expressions that can have many meanings. We are expecting snow in a big way today so looking outside now it is clear and calm! The snow is coming! Metaphorically, it can mean the calm before a crisis- the storm. Sometimes in our lives when everything feels too good, there can be an ominous feeling something bad will happen or is going to happen. Or there is a ongoing problem that needs resolving! Does it happen from self-fulling prophecy or was it on the way? But no one mentions the calm after the storm. The crisis has passed and the leftover feelings find a place. The heightened energy starts to recede. Is it calm or just relief? Or exhausion? Storms are part of our weather patterns. Storms are part of our lives. The courage to bear with them and see our way through them brings strength of character. Are you facing a storm in your life? Have you just been through a personal storm? Are you picking up the pieces in your life? Remember as each storm rages, it too shall pass and the sun will shine again.

NANA SAYS THE DEATH OF A GRANDPARENT MEANS DIFFERENT THINGS

To each grandchild. We all have our own memories and a special place in our hearts for our grandparents. Some children have the privilege of spending more time with them. Sleepovers, summer vacations, family dinners are some of the normal family events in any family. It is emotionally very grounding to have several adult relationships as a young child- our grandparents give us that unconditional love and acceptance. Little grandchildren let the older adult play and be a child again. When a grandparent dies, a generation ahead of us starts to fall away. For some, this person could be a great-grandparent! When my own mother died at 89 and 1/2  years recently, it was endearing to hear the various stories and recollections from each grandchild- my own children and my nieces and nephews. Writing them down in the family history binders will keep them for the next generations. Who was this person- Nana to them! No matter what you call your grandmother- granma, grannie, nonna, omi- she loved you- you were part of her life and legacy. As a nana myself, being a grandparent is such s wonderful role. I know my mother would be so touched by the people in her life. Do you have a grandparent? Then reach out and give him or her a hug! Cherish the time you have and know you are lucky to have such caring people like grandparents in your life.

FAMILY DAY ONTARIO STYLE

A vacation day in the middle of February is a welcome relief. Titled Family Day, it allows time to do some family activities. The stores are closed so shopping is not an option. Time with family. Tobogganing, skating, go to a movie or activities at home. For working parents, an extra day to get work done around the house. How did you enjoy family day? Was the time well spent?

WRITING THE FAMILY EULOGY

How to summarize someone's life is a major endeavor. A little history, some favourite activities, some humourous but not off colour stories, and the emotional piece kept in check. Including family that can not get up to speak but honouring them as well. Have you ever had to write the eulogy and present at a loved one's funeral? I had the honour to talk about my Mom. Rest in peace, Momsie!

FACING THE CRISIS

Life's road can have times that we must face a crisis. Being with family and muddling through can bring its challenges. It is a time to respect differences in the way everyone reacts emotionally. Different tasks require a different approach. Let each person determine the comfort level that works. The important aspect is not facing the crisis alone and by being together having a collective mindset. Is there safety in numbers? I would say yes in time like this one!

THE ROAD TO

Hell is paved with good intentions. I used to think this really meant hell as in the afterlife but as I age I begin to see it as the hell we create for ourselves while living. Regrets, being duped by bad people, wishing we had done more, well you understand, don't you? A wise person in my life reminded me that in order to forgive others, we must forgive ourselves first for whatever mistakes we made. Especially perceived poor judgement of being involved with the wrong people. Moving on means having the courage to move on. Stand tall and look for the good people and the opportunities that are there. Are you facing a bad time? Are you having trouble forgiving? Love yourself first! The rest will come with time.

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

We start off in life as the baby with generations of family in front of us. Our parents, grandparents and if we are lucky some great-grandparents. Eventually, the older ones begin to die and we go from baby-child to parent to grandparent ourselves.No matter where we are in this circle, death of a loved one is a time to reflect on family and the person's place in it. As the family genealogist, dates are always recorded but who was this person. What was the meaning of his/her life? Sounds philosophical! Life is really philosophical. The miracle of birth, the love we can feel for others, enduring not just the good times but the hard times and sometimes just stopping to smell the roses or view a sunset. Of course, if you have grandchildren and must watch The Lion King, the circle of life song is a major part of the film. But what a meaningful song! Or like The Fiddler on the Roof- Sunrise/Sunset- brings the circle concept to us. Have you lost a loved one? Experience your grief but think about the person. Thank God for the opportunity to have him/her in your life!

NANA SAYS A SPECIAL NEEDS DIAGNOSIS DOES NOT NEED TO BE DEVASTATING

When parents of a newborn are given a diagnosis of down syndrome, chromosomal abnormality or any other complex diagnosis, it can be devastating initially. Supportive counselling, linkages to community agencies and family involvement all help with the situation. Many children can have rewarding lives within family settings. For many parents, however, they need to grieve not having the normal child to accepting and loving the special needs child is a painful process. Their lives mean needing to contend with all the clinicians that may be in their world: trips to a Children's Hospital like the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto or intense involvement with community agencies that offer services such as speech language, occupational therapy, physiotherapy, social work, behaviour management, sensory integration and therapies like art, music, dance. Special Education classes at school will be the norm along with some integration into regular classes. Connecting with other parents and peer support groups are equally and sometimes more beneficial to parents. Professionals need to know when to back off and allow the family some normal privacy. Expertise means assessing the strengths of the parents and incorporating them into the team.The diagnosis will become less devastating when any society removes the stigma of seeing developmentally challenged individuals as less worthy. We embrace our elderly who become cognitively impaired so the same acceptance of the little ones needs to happen. If you know parents who are facing such a dilemma, reach out and offer hope. Congratulate them on the birth of their baby. But be willing to offer the additional support they may need. Perhaps babysitting the older children while a parent goes to a doctor's appointment. It will not be an easy journey but can be made manageable if parents do not feel alone and isolated like the previous generations who had to manage alone or send their child to an institution. Actually, Special Needs people have a lot to offer us. With events like the Special Olympics, the achievements are amazing. If you spend time in their world, you can learn about yourself and will be loved unconditionally. Do you know parents struggling with a new diagnosis? Is there something you can do to help them? Do you have Special Needs people in your life? Tell me your stories.

WELCOME THAT FRIENDLY WORD THAT ENDEARS

Welcome to my home! Welcome to the new job! Benvenuto! Bienvenue! Or whatever language you use. I know I have always remembered how I have been welcomed. In my career I have started many new jobs. There are only a handful of people that stand out as being welcoming. Ignoring, letting you know this is the way we do things here or my friend did not get your job, have been some of the greetings! So guess what I do and have always done. I welcome new people. Introduce myself and let the person know if you have any questions, I'll help you. Takes less than a minute! I do not pry about personal life or why they came to the job! Just make the person feel welcome! If I am at a social function and do not know people at my table, introduce myself and Adolph. Do first impressions make a difference- they sure do! So are you a welcoming person? Do you help new people feel at ease? Remember there are many shy people that have trouble getting started, so your friendly gesture let's them join! Did I ever tell you I was cheerleader in High School? Perhaps I am still doing it!!

THE LASAGNA WAS GOOD

Adolph was at it again for his family. He spent the first part of Super Bowl Sunday making a delicious lasagna for his girls. There is something about giving to others in many ways that make life so fulfilling. Is there something you can do for the people in your lives today? Small gestures? What makes you happy when you give? The smile on the recipients' faces! Stretching yourself? Feeling you made the world a better place? When you receive, do you appreciate the gift?  I watch my husband when he cooks and he becomes alive and focussed. What makes you come alive?
Tell me your stories. If you can not comment here, then email me at abdm@rogers.com and I will transcribe your comments or ideas here.
You can also visit Adolph's blog and ask about cooking tips. http://granpalovestocook.blogspot.com/

THE QUEEN'S DIAMOND JUBILEE

60 years is a long time to do any job. So Queen Elizabeth begins a year of celebrations. Even someone so famous and adored, must face the fact it is also a reminder of her father's death. She was a young married woman with little children in 1952 that had to step up to a tremendous task too soon. Yet she did it. And what a job she has done! Hopefully the year will be a time for not only celebration but reflection! Here, Here! To the Queen!

DON'T LOOK TOO FAR DOWN THE ROAD

Are you facing a crisis in your life? Are there unanswered questions?

When I work with people facing a new critical illness diagnosis, trying to get pregnant, newly divorced or loss of a loved one, the therapeutic answer I usually give is " don't look too far down the road!" Thinking and trying to solve everything too soon can be overwhelming. This feeling can lead to extreme anxiety. It can immobilize! So stop and take a breath- what can you do today! Feel today! The journey will present itself slowly! As we all walk, run, ride, bike, fly on our life's road needed answers will come to us!

A POSTCARD FROM MIRAMICHI AND AREA NEW BRUNSWICK

My brother Reed and his wife Edna live in this beautiful part of Canada. Edna sent me some postcards to include in my Postcard From series.

Ritchie Wharf, Miramichi City and Northumberland County, French Fort Cove are some of the features shown on the cards.

Edna wrote on the back of the cards. " Aug.11. Hi Barbara- Just a few words as I send this card off to you. This is where Reed & I walk sometimes. It is also the place where our Pond Hockey takes place every Feb. It is just a couple Km from our house- Edna &Reed." She also wrote about the Ritchie Wharf- This is our famous Ritchie Wharf where we go some evenings to listen to some good old down home country music. It is a great place to take the little ones to play."

Edna also pointed out the New Brunswick bird is the Chikadee and the flower is the Purple Violet- if it is purple I will love it! The Miscou Lighthouse is a wonderful landmark.

Of course if it is in Canada- the people are really friendly. Miramichi- Some Good!

If you want a postcard featured here, email me at abdm@rogers.com and I will send you my address so you can send me a postcard.

STRESS CAN MAKE INTERESTING DREAMS

And sometimes very disturbing ones. In my work, I try to help patients and families identify the stressors when facing health issues and life threatening situations. I call it the numb zone- when you do not know what to feel, you can become numb. Sleep allows us to relax. Or does it! Dreams can become vivid and reflect the concerns from the day. Nightmares can occur that frighten. By accepting that stress will manifest itself in all areas of your life, it can help you to analyse your own dreams- you do not need a therapist! Poor sleep or too much sleep can be signs of depression that often accompanies stress or grief. It is actually a normal reaction. Normalizing it and accepting your current life situation sucks, allow yourself to be human. There are sleeping pills but it is a temporary solution. Writing down your feelings, self-talk, talking to a trusted loved one are some ways to help your process. Sometimes we just have to experience the emotional pains of life.
Are you having bad dreams? Are you in the numb zone today? Slow down and do what is needed! Allow yourself to be human!

GROUND HOG DAY CANADIAN STYLE

In Ontario it is Wiarton Willie. Manitoba and Alberta have their own little ground hog that tries to predict how much longer winter will last. This year is deceiving since it has been quite unseasonally warm weather.

One wonders how the traditon really originated. Were people just bored with winter?

Regardless, whether he sees his shadow or not, there will probably be 6 more weeks of winter. For those of you reading from outside Canada, Wiarton is north-west of Toronto. A pretty country town on the Bruce Pennisula. If in Canada, go visit, especially like our friends who have a cottage there sailing is prolific.So bring your sailboat! There is  a good harbour for calm sailing. Do you think the Canadian groundhogs will see their shadow? Wonder what the one in Pennsylvannia will see?

NANA SAYS IT IS HARD TO GET A GROUP GRANDCHILDREN PHOTO

Every time there is a special event, it is an opportunity to take a group shot. Let's have one with the grandparents. Getting the children to stay in one spot is the first effort and then having them stay. Take a dozen! Each picture has one child looking away, mouth open, not paying attention, well you understand because you probably have the same problem with your group pictures. While reviewing and wanting to scrapbook the photos from the recent celebrations, the pictues make me smile. Each child with their own personality shows up in them. As with most pictures, they will improve with age. Luckily my children always get some good portrait shots for birthdays and Christmas. Even their school pictures are okay! So out of the dozen there can be one sufficient picture to enlarge! Digital photography allows us to delete any photos we do not want. I suggest to keep the misfits because over time there may be the ones you treasure the most! Casual pictures tell a story! Are you the photographer in your family? Do you have lots with the grandchildren? They are lots of fun to review, aren't they?