WHAT IF THIS IS THE LAST CHRISTMAS WITH A LOVED ONE?

Sometimes we are aware that this could be the last Christmas with a loved ones. Illness, age, circumstances prevail.
So how to make the holiday special without being morbid. How to enjoy the moment and make it real?
I remember knowing it would be the last Christmas for my mother-in-law when she was in her end stages of her cancer. I filmed everything I could about that last Christmas to create a memory for my husband and children. When another family member was sick, took lots of extra pictures at a Christmas Eve celebration. Lots of family group shots! Making memories for that family.
There can be a sadness and anticipatory grief happening too. Knowing this could be the last Christmas together!!
Perhaps talking about your feelings. Telling the person how much he/she is loved. Remembering the good times and try not to dwell on any bad times.
 Bringing out the memories stored inside of us. Sharing old pictures and memorabilia.
Yes taking lots of pictures for memories. Individual and group and family shots help. Pictures with the individual to have your own individual moment with your loved one.
Not just having lots to eat but the special foods the person really loves. Over indulging can be okay.
If you are the one that is the caregiver or the main person, reach out to those around you to help with your emotions. If you love the person then maybe others do as well.
If you have faith, then ask God to help to deal with the realization you are losing the person! How to embrace all that life brings- life and death!
How is your season going? Are you facing the loss of a loved one? Have you recently lost a loved one? The season can be difficult but be part of all the joy it brings and go to functions. Join in even if feeling sad. Others will understand. But be there- included in life.
What are your thoughts?
#losingalovedone#thelastChristmaswithalovedone#beingpartofthefamily#makingmemoriestolast#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro#lotsofphotoscreatememories.

ANTICIPATORY GRIEF- IS IT AS PAINFUL AS REAL GRIEF

Times in our lives can bring tough events. Seeing someone ill and worried about what is next can bring some anticipatory grief. The grief is very similar to losing the person. Ups and downs. The emotional roller coaster. The helplessness. The hopelessness. No matter what is done it may not be enough. So how to cope. Reaching out for support from those closest to you. Really making each day count. Eat food that is enjoyable. Activities. Laughter. Cry it cleanses the soul.Do all you can do then let it go and just live! Ride it out! Take in all the moments that can be shared.
#anticipatorygrief#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#grief#allthefeelingscancomepushingthrough#reallyenjoyeverymoment#laughterhelps

STRESS CAN MAKE INTERESTING DREAMS

And sometimes very disturbing ones. In my work, I try to help patients and families identify the stressors when facing health issues and life threatening situations. I call it the numb zone- when you do not know what to feel, you can become numb. Sleep allows us to relax. Or does it! Dreams can become vivid and reflect the concerns from the day. Nightmares can occur that frighten. By accepting that stress will manifest itself in all areas of your life, it can help you to analyse your own dreams- you do not need a therapist! Poor sleep or too much sleep can be signs of depression that often accompanies stress or grief. It is actually a normal reaction. Normalizing it and accepting your current life situation sucks, allow yourself to be human. There are sleeping pills but it is a temporary solution. Writing down your feelings, self-talk, talking to a trusted loved one are some ways to help your process. Sometimes we just have to experience the emotional pains of life.
Are you having bad dreams? Are you in the numb zone today? Slow down and do what is needed! Allow yourself to be human!

THE CHALLENGE OF WRITING A BLOG

This is blog 501. It has been an adventure to find ideas and themes to keep writing. The advice of other bloggers is to write every day. It is such good advice as it creates a discipline of blogging. Wednesday is easy- now it is my Nana says theme. Sunday too- with a Postcard From! The other 5 days bring many challenges and sometimes a photo I took weeks ago with a blog idea in mind which can finally be used. Since I can follow how many pageviews occur on each blog and who in the world is reading me, I am constantly amazed at the the blogs with the most "reads". People in the world are interested in the down to earth Canadian themes I have written. Yes, not regularly but I have had readers from every continent. There are regular readers not only from Canada and the United States but Germany and Russia. So to those readers thank you for visiting. Writing advice from years ago states to write about what you know. Trying to be an expert on everything, well it does not work. Some of my clinical blogs have responses on my private email. Some people have complained they can not comment so email me your comments or find me on facebook and comment there. I will add your comments to the blogs. As most of you know, I love Narrative Therapy which using your story to help to reflect and honour your strengths. Thus I want to hear and know and think about your reactions and real thoughts to any blog. Do they conjure up ideas and thinking?
As a clinical Social Worker, I always want to reach others who may be struggling with a problem and need some guidance to find the right person or resouces to help. Even the right book! Like my favourite- A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis on his journey with his grief after his beloved wife died.
I love blogging as it helps me to consolidate many areas and interests in my life. I hope you have enjoyed reading and sharing with me. Are there any favourite blogs you have enjoyed? Tell me. Are there themes you would like me to consider for you and your group? What do you want to know about Canada and this Canadian? Are there parenting or family issues you are seeking guidance? Crafts, gardening, photography can be used to work with problem areas in your life-they work for me! So please keep on reading and helping me to challenge myself to write!

LOSING A LOVED ONE

There are many stages in life- a time to live and a time to die as the Bible tells us. The painful process of losing a loved one happens to us all. Here's to those who are going through a difficult time. The anticipatory grief stage is very draining. Are you experiencing such an experience right now? Reach out and embrace your family.

ANTICIPATORY GRIEF

Anticipatory grief starts to occur when we start to feel at a deeper level we are losing someone or something we love. We can begin to feel sad, cry, numbed out as the journey starts to become painful. Sitting beside the bed of a loved one who is dying conjures it up. The sense of loss is overwhelming. Moving, changing jobs, a child going to university away from home, the beginning of the empty nest syndrome, changing health can have aspects of grief. We begin to mourn sometimes even before we consciously realize that the feeling is there. Seeing loved ones changing and feeling helpless brings grief. Many adult children watch their parents slowly changing before their eyes. Are you struggling with a heavy heart? Do you think you may be having some anticipatory grief about the situation? Let your feelings evolve and grieve.