LIFE-WORTH LIVING

Building a life one step at a time is a wonderful concept. Living brings many layers to our psyche! Childhood memories! Youth! Years of adult issues and accomplishments! Disappointments! Surviving! Just plain living! Sometimes at the top of our game and other times feeling like we are at the bottom! There are days that take energy to get anything done. Then other days where so much gets done! Happy days! Sad days! Family times! Solitary times! Life!

NANA SAYS SIBLINGS ARE DIFFERENT AND NEED TO BE RESPECTED

I have often heard parents say- my children will not have any sibling rivalry! Well read the Bible and the story of Cain and Abel. It is always difficult for children to share their parents and grandparents' love and attention. Quite frankly I find the fighting, whining and other nonsense with sibling rivalry to be very boring and it sure is a way to get your buttons pushed! Yes children need to cooperate and learn to share the world. Regardless of how many positive or negative messages there are to deal with the matter, one of the best solutions is to separate the children to age appropriate activities. Some of my best time with my own children and my grandchildren is being able to have them one child at a time. Then it is quality time and not trying to diffuse situations. Meaningful little conversations occur, can read a story or play at something fun- like blowing bubbles and letting the little one catch them. Sure there are many times all the children must be together. Even now individual time with my adult children is good. I think my girls like it- to talk to Mom without anyone else. Sibling rivalry will always be with us but I still am trying to find creative ways to enjoy moments with people in my life. Do you have special techniques? What do you use? Remember like Cain and Abel, not everyone in your life may get over their sibling hate and may end their childhood not friends as adults!

THERE FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I !

When discussing a case with a nurse from another country, he was concerned about the unfortunate details. He expressed how can people live like that? I stated, in English we have this saying- there for the Grace of God do I! It is 1 saying that says so much. Did God give us the right parents at the right time? Perhaps, but even children from very dysfunctional families have made their way and have positive adult experiences. Did God give us the intelligence and the discipline to study and work on a good education? Perhaps! Did he just direct us in the right direction- to make choices and not use any circumstance we have lived as an excuse to waste our life? If we reflect on situations in our lives and the choices made- no to drugs, social drinking and not problem drinking, exercise, patience, learning positive ways to deal with conflict, healthy eating, and the list could go on! Were all the choices ours? Or was there some little inner voice that guided us? I question why some people that used fraud, stole money from others, and still have very dishonest business practices end up with the bigger houses, more expensive cars, travel and a life style that the average person will never have! Not all good things come to good people! History tells us the story over and over! Do we make honest choices that lead us to a good life but not necessarily a monetary successful life? Perhaps! Then the whole concept of success would be fodder for another post! Did God bless me with a life worth living? You bet!

NANA SAYS BIRTHDAY CAKE IS FOR CHILDREN OF ALL AGES

The one celebration that is universal is the birthday! Everyone has one. It is a time where the individual has a special day and is honoured. At a recent reunion lunch, one of the teachers in the group was commenting how one of her students did not remember ever having a birthday cake. She makes an effort to try to celebrate her students' birthdays and felt she was becoming broke buying cakes for them.
Imagine not being able to celebrate with a simple cake! Of course, there are many places in the world where one meal a day is the norm. Children everywhere need and deserve the opportunity to celebrate and eat! For the adults-celebrating the milestone birthdays in a special way has become customary!
Birthdays need to be celebrated as a reflection of the blessing that we reached another age. Another year has occurred! For the little ones it will create family memories! Lots of photos with the child blowing out the candles is something in everyone's collection of pictures!

Cake- chocolate or vanilla, cupcake or slab style, lots of icing is always enjoyable! Of course today, I have a little grandson celebrating #4! Number four, you're a sweetheart we adore! Number 84, here's to lots more! Are you going to be celebrating someone's birthday today? Do you love the birthday cake and all the hoopla?

NANA SAYS WELCOME TO ALL THE LEAP YEAR BABIES

Some people think it is really cool to have a leap year baby while others find it disheartening for their little one. It is what it is- another joyous day to be born. I know several adults that would like to have been born on February 29th- then they would not have to lie about their age!! Hum!! I do not know anybody born on this date. Do you? How do they feel about it? Anyway Nana says a welcome baby born any day- even leap year is a wonderful addtion to the human race.

NANA SAYS SHARING CAN BE DIFFICULT

Young children need to learn to share. Sharing toys and books with others who come to their home is important to learn to participate and share with the world. It is very difficult though as often we can hear " it is mine". That's my toy. Sharing the spotlight on a sibling's birthday is another tough time. The smart adults bring a little something for the other children. Recognizing the child's anguish and giving extra love and inclusion in the event. Thus the multiple lighting of the birthday candles so the other children can blow them out can help, for example.  Sharing the attention of the parents on any given day can be a constant struggle. We become annoyed with children who do not share often saying you are being selfish. Fast forward- how many adults really share with others. At work, we must share common work areas. But we all have our desk or work area. We share responsibilites in the home- everyone has their chores to do. " Stay our of my room- it's my stuff!" However, imagine the 33 year old with a brand new car- would we expect him to let his best friend take it for a spin because- "you have to share". Sharing is a gracious quality to have but one of the most difficult. It takes a delicate balance to teach sharing and to role model how it is done. Children learn by what they see and hear! If you had to share throughout your whole childhood, as an adult there may be a tendency to want to be a little possessive about some things in your life. Neighbours and friends have been discarded because items have not been returned or returned damaged. I stopped lending books years ago because some people have not returned them and I felt burnt. " Well it's just  a book!" So we encourage and help young children to share but at the same time recognize it as wonderful quality. Remember wars have been fought over sharing a territory! Do you like to share? Do you have a young child you are trying to teach to share? Do you have adult membes in your family who are possessive about everything?  What do you think about the whole concept of sharing? It is a tough one!

NANA SAYS SIBLING RIVALRY IS NORMAL

It is what we do about it that can make the difference. For example, when children in the same family have a birthday, it becomes very apparent. While celebrating one child's birthday, the feelings of the other child may be bruised. Letting any children present blow out an additional lit candle on the cake, helps to ease the tension after the birthday boy/girl has had the traditional singing and candles lit. Older children may want to play with the younger child's toys. My answer- only if the child gives permission and to remember your toys may need to be shared too. Each person deserves to have an individual celebration. For some reason when children attend a friend's birthday celebration the same situation does not result. The need to have some attention is always paramount at home. For parents, it can be stressful. Trying to keep the peace and giving the birthday celebration justice! I notice when the grandchildren play in my backyard. They will all want the same stick- there are dozens of sticks to chose! Is it human nature to want what someone else has? Adults have the " keep up with the Jones" syndrome sometimes. There are adults that do not seem to want or envy others for what they have. By helping siblings to get along and share, are we helping to create healthier adults? I know loving parents who treated all their children fairly but there has been one child who just did not grow into that healthy adult. Still jealous of the other child/children in the family. Sibling rivalry is a huge topic. I think I need to think about it more and perhaps share more thoughts at another time. Are you a sibling? How do you feel about your brother or sister?