HOPE AND LOVE WILL PREVAIL

 With the sadness in so many parts of our life. Hope and love carry us.

So know that hope and love prevail!

#hopeandlove#hope#love#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

NANA SAYS HOW TO DEAL WITH NEGATIVE PRETEEN AND TEEN ATTITUDE

Doing your best as a parent and greeted with grunts, negative facial expressions and "I hate you" wears thin for the best of parents.
It is bad enough to have sibling fighting in the home.
With busy work schedules and demands on families it is important to try to find some quality time amongst all the angst.
I remember the teen years- horrible. So much wasted time with so much negativity. So is it just a rite of passage.
One technique that works is creative ignoring. If you greet your child every day with a Good Morning and get a grunt or nothing. Then stop. Ignore the child.
Write out the rules. Write out the chores. If the child starts to argue point to the written.
Trust me eventually the child will need to talk.
The gadgets. Yes it is okay to have limits on the use. Not in bed. Not after a certain hour at night. Yes as the parent you can put controls.
Let your children know you love them. And yes you are the parent. It is your job to set limits, rules, keep your children safe, feed them, clothe them and you do love them.
When my children questioned my rules, I simply said. When I was a child, I had to put up with my parents' rules. Now I am the parent so it is my turn to make the rules. One day you will be the parent and it will be your turn.
Catch them being good and praise. Hugs, Kisses. Smiles- even when you want to grit your teeth.
If your children are out of control, rein them in. Set clear consistent boundaries. You are a parent, not your child's best friend. If it is done with love, need for safety, peace in the family, you can not go wrong. As a surviving parent of preteens and teenagers, they come back to you. Love prevails.

LOVE- A VERY CHRISTIAN CONCEPT IN TROUBLED TIMES

Watching parts of the Manchester Concert Sunday June 4, 2017, the word love came up so many times. Remember Jesus said to love one another. Love your enemies. Well love can conquer all. It does come with pain and work but love and lots of it in the world is so needed.  Watching that concert and other tributes to recent fallen victims in Manchester, London, Israel, Iraq, Afghanistan, Paris, Berlin and Belgium- yes love and lots of it. People just going about their business and loving their families and life. Being kind and respecting others. Be careful, protect each other but remember to love!

                                 And eat lots of sweets! Love include good times together!
#love#Christian#manchester#london

PATIENCE-A VIRTUE OR A NECESSITY

Patience- how to keep it when all seems to be going wrong.
I found a quote by Idil Ahmed-
"You know great things are coming when everything seems to be going wrong. Old energy is clearing out for new energy to enter. Be Patient!" Good thoughts.
My thoughts- trust in God and Jesus- love others, be positive to attract positive energy and ideas. Be available to loved ones.
Shit Happens!
Patience ebbs and flows. If alone, easier to rant and rave and don't have to be judged by others. In groups, work and common social situations, harder to keep any negative thoughts under rap so easier to walk away from conflict. What if you have patience but others around do not? Listen and then walk away.
I am not virtuous. I am finding I have less patience for stupid. So the answer to my question patience is a necessity! What do you think? How would you describe patience?

FOREGIVENESS-HOW IT RELATES TO EASTER

Good Friday is the holy day of Jesus' sacrifice. He died so our sins could be forgiven. It made me think about forgiving and forgiving others for what they do to us. Then the thought occurred to me. Forgiving others means it is necessary to forgive ourselves first. Many good people have things done to them by not so good people. It takes courage to forgive those people. But forgiving ourselves for being duped, hurt or scammed takes more courage. Not to wallow in the hurt but to move forward. It does not mean toxic people should stay in our lives it just means that forgiving frees up so much negative energy. Easter is a time for celebration. Reflection. Being with family. Talking about the Easter message. Love. Peace and well forgiveness. So for me starting with myself. Forgiving me for not being all the things I had wanted to be. Loving what has been done. Loving the people in my life. Forgiving frees up love!

NANA SAYS EASTER IS A TIME TO CELEBRATE CHRISTIANITY

Even irregular church goers can use the Easter season to talk about the Christian faith and what it means. Children can learn it is more than Easter bunnies and chocolates. The story of Christ and his teachings can be taught. Having story books for all ages and even some church attendance would be a good start. Grace at dinners is the tradition in our home. Practising love, acceptance and tolerance are year long virtues to have. Do onto others as you would have them do onto you! Basic but stands the test of time. Mostly as an adult role model positive Christian qualities every day!

WHAT IS LOVE?

Love is important in our lives. When we feel loved, we feel human. For those without people in their lives they often turn to the love of pets. For many their cat or dog brings companionship and touch. Babies grow from being fed but also loved and held. So what is this feeling of love? How do we tell as humans the difference from liking someone and really loving someone? True love often means the other is our soulmate. But people can stop loving someone. When does love stop? Why do we love our hometown, our province, our country? Where does the love come from inside us? We use the word in many ways. I love my morning coffee. Don't you just love that actor in that film! Thanks for the gift- I really love it! Love that word that can make and break a day and sometimes a life. Children can become adults thinking their parents really did not love them. Sometimes it is true as a parent can have a favourite child and the other feels. I was asked one day at work by a colleague which grandchild I loved the most since he was his grandmother's favourite. I looked at him and said all of them but especially whichever one I happen to be hugging or holding at the time. The number 6 is important- 6 separate chambers of love in my heart for each of my grandbabies! I love them all but each brings different personalities and wonderful aspects to observe and love! For me then the love of family! What does love mean to you? Who and what do you love? How big is your heart?

MOTHERS ARE THE FOUNDATION OF NATIONS

Leaders, doctors, carpenters, teachers, cooks, well you name it all had a mother. The good, the bad, the indifferent- mothers are where we all got our start. So on this day for Moms, give yours hug, for those missing a mom-remember a good memory, for moms that lost a child-weep a tear and the singles dads trying to be a mom- good for you. Mother has such a strong connection for all of us! Love comes to mind!

A WEEKEND OF BLESSINGS

Thanksgiving weekend was fun of good eating and working around the house. It is a time to continue the garden cleanup and fall cleaning. Taking the food to a daughter's house so she could be home with the new baby- 3 weeks allowed extra time to do the big jobs and not just a house cleaning for dinner. So blessings include family, time to rest and time to work, an extra day at home and yes a four day work week!! Blessings come in all shapes and sizes! So 6 blessings with the grandchildren, daughters and sons-in- law, good health- so far and just being in a country like Canada. Took advantage of the advance polls and voted already. So democracy at its best!! Every vote counts! Blessed to be able to read, write and do my own interests. Yes the love of a good man counts as a huge blessing! Just feeling happy to be alive and have opportunities to carry on! How about you? What are your blessings?

#thanksgiving#blessings#thanksgivingblessings#grandchildrenareablessing#gettingreadyforafamilyfeast#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

NANA SAYS YOUR CHILDREN DO NOT HAVE TO MEET YOUR NEEDS

Yes parenting has been going on for thousands of years. But parents can be crappy people. Abuse. Emotional putdowns. Children have died at the hands of their parents. Well you get the picture. Making decisions for vulnerable people-children- takes thought and wisdom. Stupid decisions are stupid decisions. Trends in parenting sound cute. Like the couple that won't tell anyone the sex of their child-really they want to write a book. I won't be reading it. To vaccinate or not! Really- a parent  wants to risk death from getting tetanus-look at the case in New Zealand where the 7 year old died- or disability from the next polio epidemic-there will be one- or death from diphtheria. Even common childhood diseases if a child contracts a high fever from measles- brain damage. No a vaccination does not cause autism. That is genetic!  I know there can be religious grounds for no blood transfusion but it does save a life. I am a regular blood donor and am adequately tested. If you want to be vegan-great but make sure your children are allowed to experience life's foods. Okay someone may say but he/she is my child. Yes but there are child welfare laws for a reason. So would it be okay for a parent to say my child, I can have sex with my child! So be careful when advocating "I can do what I want with my child." Actually you can't! Especially if laws are being broken!  Food, clothing, shelter, education, health care are some of the main ingredients for upbringing a child. Lots of love and not the view to complete your needs but to deal with the needs of the child. As a health care professional, parent and grandparent my needs would not outweigh the needs of a child. So when making decisions-just ask the simple question whose needs am I meeting?

DOES LOVE HELP YOU HEAL?

Research has shown that people with positive social contacts fare better. For example, the elderly with a hip fracture will heal better with more family and social contacts. Stimulation! The hospital environment is the worst place for anyone with diminished capacity. They need the familiar. So does healing generally occur better when an individual is surrounded by people who care. People with a strong faith rely on the love of God! I would contend yes. If you have a purpose to get up in the morning with social supports, your life has better value. If you feel valued does it affect your physical systems? I would contend yes. So does love help you heal? Unfortunately I do not have any studies to quote and to cite for you. However I would say love helps with everything. Being loved, feeling love and loving others does something amazing for our general well being, doesn't it! Through the hard times, love from others just feels good! Emotionally! Physically! Socially! So I would go with- Love helps you heal!

THERE FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I

There for the grace of God go I! What a thought provoking statement? Do you ever really think about this one? Today while watching the news and the story of two young people in Nova Scotia convicted of killing a homeless man was one story featured. This statement came to mind. The poor man was just a lost soul not needing to be murdered. Could many of us be a potential homeless person in our lifetime? We picked different roads and have not ended there. But mental illness can be a reason to end on the streets. Failure and hopelessness! What about critical illness? Most people do not really chose to be so ill. Dying young! For someone my age, not even an option now. Do we really thank God or life that we have the life we have now? If your life is a good one, do you ever say thank you? Or are you someone that felt you were entitled to all that you have? Did you ever consider your life could have gone differently? So there for the grace of God go I can be such a reflective thought!

EASTER BRINGS A REFLECTION OF OUR CHRISTIANITY

The Easter season is a time to reflect on our Christianity. Since it coincides with Passover, there can be a review of the story of Moses and taking God's people out of the desert. Knowing why we call ourselves Christian- Christ is the reason for the season. Basically, do unto others as we will have them do unto us. Setting an example of faith. Really practising what we preach. Remembering to look to the Scriptures for our guidance. I believe it means respect of others. Faith, hope, love and charity but the greatest is love. Love one another. Do good to those that hurt you. Forgiveness-which is huge actually. It is very tough to forgive but it helps us to continue to live!! For children trying to find the blend between the story of Jesus and why there is an Easter bunny. Well eggs and rabbits are symbols of renewal. Being born again! Easter is another time to bring family together and reach out to the community. Food banks could do with a boost. Inviting lonely people to your dinner table. Easter can be more subdue than other celebrations of the year. As the final days of Lent unfold, preparing brings a sense of joy and thoughts of past celebrations. Yes, the power of prayer! Take time to pray and yes thank the Almighty for his love and just giving us a life. What does Easter mean to you? Do you find yourself reflecting on what it means to you?
#Easter#Christianity#Passover#celebratingEasterasaChristian#faithhopeandcharityisthegreatestlove#bringingfamilytogetherforEaster#familytimeatEaster#aCelticcrossonachurch#paryandfaith

APRIL FIRST-A DAY TO FOOL AROUND

April 1 or April Fool's Day was never more welcomed than this year. There is a sense that winter is really behind us, well except in some parts of Canada. However I remember many April storms and bad weather. My Spring baby Sonya was born on an April 4th that evolved into  terribly cold ice rainy weather for 4 days. So I always expect April to be warmer but know it will be what it will be. As for jokes on this day, I am not a prankster so really do not like to do anything radical. With close people some joking around or even gentle sarcasm or witty comments can be the day today or any day.  So April, another month and time to begin anew. The Romans considered it-Aprilis to be sacred to their Goddess of love-Venus. Or according to sources it may have been taken from the Greek Goddess-Aphrodite. With all the chirping of the song birds out there, perhaps they were right those Romans. There will be baby birds soon. Is love in the air? Well let's hope so!!

CAN LOVE PREVAIL?

Sometimes people touch us in an endearing way. The elderly couple in the picture go for a daily walk near my house. They live in the Assisted Living facility up the street. They hold hands so they can hold each other up! Love in old age! Their walk is slow but steady. He needs to stop every once in awhile to rest. She waits! What makes it work? How did they last so long? What secrets about living could they tell us? Do we love someone through all the times? What is it like to have someone in old age? To have a purpose- a little walk every day with your honey!

WHY DO WE IDOLIZE THE RICH?

On my walk to work yesterday, I was thinking about the number of times in a day the people I work around discuss money, how much money someone has, the  house, the car and the feeling if you make a lot of money you are successful! Money and things! Yes, if you do not make lots of money no matter what you do-well you really are not very successful.  It definitely does help not to worry how the bills will be paid. Is a person's worth the size of the wallet and all the money? Does everyone that lives in the big houses have lots of money? A celebrity with all the trimmings often get more goodies for nothing because of the fame! How much is enough money? So why are there many people who are not rich nor make elaborate incomes just enjoying life. A smaller house, a garden, love of family and social activities that bring joy but not in any ritzy place. Why do some people just love living despite the fact there is no wealth? Some days-well I look around and feel happy, content! Don't get me wrong-I have bills to pay and do not have the funds I hoped I would have at this age. But for some reason I just plod along and enjoy life! My purple/white irises called me to photograph them. A spontaneous hug from one of my grandsons brought joy! Celebrating my granddaughter's birthday was fun! She enjoyed the new book about horses! Sure I would love to win the lottery, have one of my projects make money and have more things like a cottage but for some reason my life still has lots of meaning, joy, love and purpose that with or without those things I carry on! I did find myself discussing one of my projects with a fellow Social Worker yesterday and after the discussion, I thought to myself- hey I have passion about that project! It was not about money but about completing the project-just because, regardless of how successful it would be! Talking to her reminded me that not everyone is obsessed with money! Perhaps I need to surround myself with more people that have a passion about something and are not judging everyone about the size of paycheque they make! So why do we idolize the rich, the athlete, the celebrity? Do you have the answer?

FAMILY OBLIGATIONS

As  parents age, grown children can resent the fact they may need to take some responsibility for their care. In my work, a patient comes through the hospital door and the family reactions can vary. Like or lump it their children and their parents needing their support and often time that can change everything. Little children get more empathy but older parents can be seen as a real burden or people needing love and support. Not every family is a happy one. Not every parent was a good one. Not every child is a good one either! Working through the family dynamics can be a challenge. Setting clear guidelines that a hospital deals with patient care and can not cure or change all the social issues prevailing. There is no rule book on what are the family obligations! Too bad as it would make the care concerns easier to handle!

NANA SAYS JUNIOR KINDERGARTEN STARTS IT ALL

As two of my grandsons both started Junior Kindergarten yesterday, I thought about how their school career has begun. In my day there was just one Kindergarten. Now Junior and Senior or JK or SK as they are called. Parents with hopes and dreams and lots of fears were common. Hoping your little "tyrant" will calm and fit into the school norm but be bright! Some parents even are thinking down the road to university and careers! As Nana, I was just hoping my little sweeties would get through the day, like their teacher and be excited enough to tell me about the new phase in their lives. Where they will be headed is not on my mind! My home will continue to provide learning opportunities, books, crafts and fun activities in the house and garden to be a support to parents and school. Of course, just love and encouragement and a listening ear as they are my grandchildren- like other grandparents- just proud and glad they are in my life! Grandpa feeds them! Food is important too! So here's to all the little JK kids out there and others who are advancing in their grades. Like my granddaughter now in Grade Two who was excited to be with her friends!

NANA SAYS PARENTING TEACHES PATIENCE

Patience often means learning to wait. When pregnant, must wait until the baby is ready to come. Wait until the baby finishes eating. Wait for the burp! Wait until the crying is over and the baby can be put down! Wait for the toddler to put on his/her own shoes! Getting children organized so you can leave on time. Letting children learn at their own pace takes patience. The teenager and the curfew-waiting until the last one is home. If you do not learn to be more patient as a parent then you do not get parenting. Parenting is about teaching and helping the children in your life to learn. Learn manners, respect for others and of course about relationships and what it means to love someone. Our ability to be patient with the little ones and even older- teenagers, young 20's we allow the children to be what they need to be. The cases I would have in family therapy cases often was just the miscommunication and trying to have the child be something the parents wanted. An example, a teenage girl was having problems at school and was skipping class. The mother was focussed on how clean the house should be. The girl did not polish the water spots on the bathroom taps. It was her house and she wanted things a certain way! Hum!  Having a discussion about patience and trying to see what the child needed. Using narrative therapy techniques- the problem is the problem, not the person! Why is the child avoiding school? Engaging the whole family in the process of change can take a lot of patience on the part of the counsellor/therapist. Patience is more than a virtue, it is a necessity in parenting. Stop expecting the preschooler to be more in control of his/her feelings than the average adult! Really listen and try to understand what is going on! Be patient! By being patient, often the real issue emerges! Do you think you are a patient person? What do you use to stay grounded and wait for the other person to be ready?

THE STRENGTH OF FAMILY

We all have a family-love it or loath it! There can be conflict. There can be love. In times of adversity, family know our history and love us anyway. The death of a family member leaves a hole. Depending on the relationship, things are never really the same again. Memories of the good times and the bad times come flooding back into our consciousness. There can be a real disbelief the person is no longer with us. Coming together to honour the person, gives us all some comfort. Looking at our pictures! Telling stories! Family keeps the memory alive. Keeps the person with us! Family can include friends that are more like family than family! Are you glad you have your family to comfort you? Even when far away, there is the safety knowing there are others who care!