LIFE IS LIKE RUNNING FOR A BUS

Walking home yesterday, I witnessed a poor High School student who ran for the bus but the driver pulled away without him. It make me think about times I took the bus. Sometimes too early and waiting and waiting. Other times it would be stopped on a red light so running to catch it just in time. Or running and the driver would just pull away making me wait for the next one. I would wonder if the driver took pleasure in not being nice and letting one more passenger meet the school or work deadline. I know there is always another bus coming. But after a hard day's work it is great to catch the first bus and be on one's way home. Public Transit is great but people are at the mercy of schedules and well drivers. Like life not everything is in our control. Sometimes we catch the bus and sometimes we wait for the next one.

TO WAIT OR NOT TO WAIT

Waiting is one of the most difficult occurrences in life. We wait in traffic. We wait to have a baby born. We wait for dinner to cook. Not knowing the answer to a problem. Wanting an answer. We all wait for something. Currently the waiting for answers to the MH370 mystery must be agonizing for the families. Waiting and not knowing what we are waiting to hear! Waiting takes patience. We wait for the work day to finish. Even the work week. Some people are better at waiting than others. The trick is to find an activity while waiting. People watch at the airport! Read a book! Make a grocery list! Life includes waiting whether we like it or not. How about you-do you find waiting difficult?

NANA SAYS PARENTING TEACHES PATIENCE

Patience often means learning to wait. When pregnant, must wait until the baby is ready to come. Wait until the baby finishes eating. Wait for the burp! Wait until the crying is over and the baby can be put down! Wait for the toddler to put on his/her own shoes! Getting children organized so you can leave on time. Letting children learn at their own pace takes patience. The teenager and the curfew-waiting until the last one is home. If you do not learn to be more patient as a parent then you do not get parenting. Parenting is about teaching and helping the children in your life to learn. Learn manners, respect for others and of course about relationships and what it means to love someone. Our ability to be patient with the little ones and even older- teenagers, young 20's we allow the children to be what they need to be. The cases I would have in family therapy cases often was just the miscommunication and trying to have the child be something the parents wanted. An example, a teenage girl was having problems at school and was skipping class. The mother was focussed on how clean the house should be. The girl did not polish the water spots on the bathroom taps. It was her house and she wanted things a certain way! Hum!  Having a discussion about patience and trying to see what the child needed. Using narrative therapy techniques- the problem is the problem, not the person! Why is the child avoiding school? Engaging the whole family in the process of change can take a lot of patience on the part of the counsellor/therapist. Patience is more than a virtue, it is a necessity in parenting. Stop expecting the preschooler to be more in control of his/her feelings than the average adult! Really listen and try to understand what is going on! Be patient! By being patient, often the real issue emerges! Do you think you are a patient person? What do you use to stay grounded and wait for the other person to be ready?

HEARING GOOD NEWS

Brings joy to us. Especially when waiting for the callback from an interview, a final exam or medical test results. Waiting is so angonizing. Hoping all will be well but trying to stay realistic and planning for any bad news. Then the good news!! It sure has a ripple effect for everyone. To a special lady, yeah!! Have you been waiting for some results from an event in your life? How have you been coping? Do you have someone in your life that needs your support?

MANNERS KEEP US CIVILIZED

Canadians have been known to be a very polite people. There are moments when we can encounter impolite ones though. Our children are taught from the cradle to say please and thank you, to wait your turn. In our modern world with all its impatience it is easy to forget one's manners. Everyone is in a hurry- so leave earlier for what you need to do! Waiting- that has become a dirty word. Remember the days when you had to go to the bank at noon on your lunch break or Friday when the bank stayed open until 6- yes you waited in a long line. If you go to the bank today and they are two people ahead of you- the huffing and puffing that goes on. Today we have choices with online banking, ATMs, longer hours and even Saturday banking. I have lots of patience. If someone else was first then I can wait. If there is a traffic jam, I can wait. If the light is red, I can wait. When I chose to do a big shop and have waited in my line and have someone with the one item, I usually let that person go ahead of me as I am loading the counter. Honestly- so I do not have to have huffing and puffing behind me. Recently, I let someone go ahead who had to mention she was in a hurry as she had a long drive- there was no consideration of my day. Since I have manners I did not mention- yes I am a busy full-time working Nana with a busy schedule and needed to get home to babysit the grandkiddies after awakening at 6 a.m. to change the bed, do two loads of laundry- well you get the picture!!! Manners do let us be civilized and not get into power struggles with others. Sincere appreciation- with a Thank you so much!! Thanking those in our lives for the little things that are done. Can you please print those labels! Excuse me when you walk between some one! Do you mind if I pass by you! So much nicer and makes a nicer world. I have been criticized for being too polite in my lifetime! However, manners do keep us in check when there are times we really want to tell someone to.... - well you know those choice expressions. Would you describe yourself as someone with good manners? Does it make you feel good to respect others? Do you have trouble waiting?

LIMBO

And I do not mean the dance. Limbo is the time when you are waiting for something and the outcome is undetermined. Between jobs, waiting for the phone to ring and not sure if you want that position from your last interview. A loved one is sick and could get better or worse. Afraid to get too hopeful or excited. You're in limbo! Don't feel mad or glad! Limbo.

It is a neutral place to be. Which way do you turn? No control over the outcome. Just wait it out. Have there been times in your life that you feel as if you are in limbo? Waiting for an end so you can move on to the next event! The stress of waiting and not knowing plays havoc on your health-mental and physical as well as your soul. How have you coped with the feeling the other shoe will drop! Will it be for the better or worse? Limbo.