NANA SAYS HOW TO DEAL WITH NEGATIVE PRETEEN AND TEEN ATTITUDE

Doing your best as a parent and greeted with grunts, negative facial expressions and "I hate you" wears thin for the best of parents.
It is bad enough to have sibling fighting in the home.
With busy work schedules and demands on families it is important to try to find some quality time amongst all the angst.
I remember the teen years- horrible. So much wasted time with so much negativity. So is it just a rite of passage.
One technique that works is creative ignoring. If you greet your child every day with a Good Morning and get a grunt or nothing. Then stop. Ignore the child.
Write out the rules. Write out the chores. If the child starts to argue point to the written.
Trust me eventually the child will need to talk.
The gadgets. Yes it is okay to have limits on the use. Not in bed. Not after a certain hour at night. Yes as the parent you can put controls.
Let your children know you love them. And yes you are the parent. It is your job to set limits, rules, keep your children safe, feed them, clothe them and you do love them.
When my children questioned my rules, I simply said. When I was a child, I had to put up with my parents' rules. Now I am the parent so it is my turn to make the rules. One day you will be the parent and it will be your turn.
Catch them being good and praise. Hugs, Kisses. Smiles- even when you want to grit your teeth.
If your children are out of control, rein them in. Set clear consistent boundaries. You are a parent, not your child's best friend. If it is done with love, need for safety, peace in the family, you can not go wrong. As a surviving parent of preteens and teenagers, they come back to you. Love prevails.

SOCIAL MEDIA CREATED RUDE BEHAVIOUR

Lately observations in public places reveals more and more people with blue tooth or plug in ear phones walk around talking to that mysterious person in cyber space. Not quiet conversations trying to be away from people but in the middle of a group or on a bus or wherever! Oblivious to others! What do you think? Is it rude behaviour? To infringe on others with loud talking is it rude? Yes there could be people talking loudly with others around them, again not caring about the invasion of personal space nor ackonwledging other people. Constantly checking one's phone then texting in meetings by the majority of people present! The minute there is a pause in discussion, there goes the checking and texting! Or are unnecessary emails being deleted! But the person can look important! Is it rude behaviour? There are occasions that workers need to keep in touch to do their jobs. I carry a pager. I must go to a company phone and call the person. Some managers carry hand held phones to be available to staff. Grocery shopping with someone calling home to ask if 1 or 2 tomatoes are needed! Social situations where one could be lost in one's own thoughts or perusing to be invaded by others! Have you ever thought the person was speaking to you then noticed the ear plug! A dirty look is passed your way for even thinking the person even noticed you were there! Is there a fear to be disconnected from others? Thus the obsession with constant handling of the gadget! Perhaps a retirement project with funding from some source could let me study the modern social media craze! Perhaps finding some meaning! Meanwhile my gadget is checked a couple of times daily. It remains in my purse at work. It is really not very professional to carry it when doing my job. Not to be distracted, it remains in my purse when walking! I like the project idea then I can find my own meaning and go viral! Do you ever notice how many ordinary things like the dancing dog or baby or someone singing off key goes viral? Project number 2- what makes something go viral? Observing and listening to the world around us can bring some meaning too. Often on my walk to and from work, ideas are created, thoughts thought, and observations of life made. A man walking his dog every day. The cars going along the road. The planes from the west flying overhead going to Pearson Airport. The clouds. The wind. The weather. The moment in front! Sometimes quiet prayer too! Social media is a good thing but is it uncontrollable now? What are your thoughts? Quite frankly I find the modern phenomenon to be rather rude and boring most of the time! What is wrong with engaging with the people around you? Oh yeah, maybe I am just old fashioned! What about you? Do you have an idea for project number three?