Doing your best as a parent and greeted with grunts, negative facial expressions and "I hate you" wears thin for the best of parents.
It is bad enough to have sibling fighting in the home.
With busy work schedules and demands on families it is important to try to find some quality time amongst all the angst.
I remember the teen years- horrible. So much wasted time with so much negativity. So is it just a rite of passage.
One technique that works is creative ignoring. If you greet your child every day with a Good Morning and get a grunt or nothing. Then stop. Ignore the child.
Write out the rules. Write out the chores. If the child starts to argue point to the written.
Trust me eventually the child will need to talk.
The gadgets. Yes it is okay to have limits on the use. Not in bed. Not after a certain hour at night. Yes as the parent you can put controls.
Let your children know you love them. And yes you are the parent. It is your job to set limits, rules, keep your children safe, feed them, clothe them and you do love them.
When my children questioned my rules, I simply said. When I was a child, I had to put up with my parents' rules. Now I am the parent so it is my turn to make the rules. One day you will be the parent and it will be your turn.
Catch them being good and praise. Hugs, Kisses. Smiles- even when you want to grit your teeth.
If your children are out of control, rein them in. Set clear consistent boundaries. You are a parent, not your child's best friend. If it is done with love, need for safety, peace in the family, you can not go wrong. As a surviving parent of preteens and teenagers, they come back to you. Love prevails.
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