2012 OUT WITH THE OLD

As 2012 winds down and New Years' parties are well under way, one seems to reflect on the year. Trials and tribulations; joyful moments; travels; and family times seem to come to mind. There is always a hope that the new year will bring good times. Like the saying out with the old to make room for the new carries the mood. What are you hoping to discard as the year closes? Any thoughts?

CANADIAN SNOW IN DECEMBER

Canada has its share of snow coast to coast. Ontario was lucky to miss those horrific snowstorms in November. A light dusting prior to Christmas then a snowstorm that left several inches but hit the east coast with a vengence! Embracing the winter by walking to work and playing with my little grandchildren in the snow helps me to accept that winter takes a good four months of our lives. A backyard ice rink will help the sweeties to work on their skating skills! How do you embrace winter? Skiing! Indoor activities? Or do you just look forward to Spring?

DON'T LOOK TOO FAR DOWN THE ROAD

Planning is good. But when faced with critical illness, one of the statements I use with patients is- don't look too far down the road. Often the question can be- how long do I have? Suggestions- put your affairs in order, follow the treatment plan, do the things you want to do! Actually for all of us to live each day to its fullest! Take care of the little things and the big things take care of themselves! Pushing ourselves to get things done! Some procrastination can be okay but letting too many areas of our lives lag can often bring anxiety! Daily simple goals- pay the bill, clean the closet, fold the laundry, hug our loved ones, finish that book- can keep us going! Of course, our routines help all of us to stay focussed and think about everything that must be done! So are you looking too far down the road! Do you need to stop and enjoy today?

2012 MY FAVOURITE IMAGES

As the year is winding to a close, it is a reminder of the ups and downs it brought. I took many photographs of many events and adventures. Some of my favourite images helped to reflect on the year.

Spring at the local library.

Some flowers in my garden-love purple!

A view of Kingston Ontario from Fort Henry! A hot, hot summer day!

The Gooderham Building on Front Street from our trip to the St. Lawrence Market. A reminder  of walking through the market and enjoying the street scene.

A pile of cherries at the St. Jacobs Market- oh for the summer fruit to return! And perhaps another trip to that amazing market! Might become an annual event!

Finding those Fall country images close to home- the Vaughan-King road.

A winter rose- a look toward the New Year and Spring!

Where would your photos take you? Do you have favourites from the year? Of course, some of my very favourite are my grandchildren. There would not be enough room here to print them all!!

DIFFERENT LIGHT DIFFERENT VIEWS

Lights can bring a new look to any place. Christmas lights outside give a house a festive feel. Candlelight on a table can be romantic as well as make older people look younger. "I am the Light" comes from the Bible.
Lighting in a home can help with mood. Natural light from spacious windows brings in sunshine and allows for artificial lights to be minimal. The amount of light can cause seasonal mood disorders. Just think about the rate of depression in February! Photographers have fun with light!  Many interesting pictues can be found in simple places.

For example, sitting on my couch and seeing a moment when the late day sun found its way through the sliding doors making shadows on the fireplace! Songs about light- You light up my Life by Debby Boone- hung around for some time. It is darkest before the dawn- light will bring new possibilities. Or when parents yell at their kids- turn off your light and go to sleep! Since it is December 28, the days are starting to get longer again! So more Light! What does the word light conjure for you? Do you look to the light for inspiration? Do you want your load lightened?

THAT LULL BETWEEN CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR

As the house slowly returns to a different normal, there is a certain quiet that begins to prevail. The lists are gone; the good dishes back in the cupboard; the wrapping paper and tags stored neatly until needed; and the Christmas presents are finding a home. There is always a sense of letdown! It is over! Christmas came with a bang and left with lots of calories, giggles and photos. Time to regroup and work on those winter projects. Over the years I have learnt to use this feeling to reflect, review and reward all that is important in my life! At the end it is the time spent with family that brings the greatest meaning to me. The reconnecting with them as well as friends through cards, phone calls and facebook notes makes it special. Heading back to work today after a small winter storm- not too much damage was done, just some shovelling- puts my life back in perspective! Work and home! Home and work! Not too shabby! Knowing the energy, skill and knowledge take me to new adventures keeps me moving forward! What do you find to be most meaningful in your life? Do you use this time to reflect? Or are you one of many running to those sales? Taking some quiet time to listen to your inner voice can bring some interesting results! Are you listening?

NANA SAYS SPENDING TIME WITH CHILDREN AT CHRISTMAS MAKES IT SPECIAL

Yes Christmas with all the preparation and hype can be stressful with little children. However, no Christmas day is the same without them around. After the days before Christmas with the excited expecation of Santa bringing something special, dreams have been fulfilled! They bring back the magic of the season! Adults are allowed to sit on the floor and act like little children for a while! Assembling or playing with the new gadgets is such an important part of the day too! Saying an appropriate grace at the dinner table as a reminder of the religious aspect of the day to help little ones learn about the true meaning of the celebration! There is something to be said about Boxing Day! Quiet is good too! Hope you enjoyed your day with little people at this very special time of the year!

DO YOU HAVE A FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS PRESENT?

Each year something special makes it way under my Christmas tree. This year it was the framed picture with my four grandchildren. Their Day Care took an amazing picture of the the four of them- everyone looking at the camera, no silly faces, no eyes shut! Love it! It made me think about other Christmases! The one that came to mind was the year I was 19! Adolph had bought a fuzzy orange pair of slippers. He wanted me to try them on. When I put my foot in one of the them, there was a little box. It was an engagement ring! Of course, my parents were a little dismayed for their youngest daughter to be engaged! Books, clothes and other sudnry tiems over the years brought joy! Well, do you have a special Christmas present worth mentioning or do you enjoy everything you receive?

BOXING DAY IN CANADA

There are lineups at stores to get the great bargains on Boxing Day- December 26! A time to start the Shopping for next Christmas. It is actually a British tradition of giving gifts in boxes. Now it is equated with bargains! Many people who received  money or gift cards as Christmas presents are madly trying to find the ultimate item!

Of course it does not have to come in a box- a bag will do! Did you do any Boxing Day shopping? Or did you use the stat holiday to lie low, read a book or have a quiet nap away from all the crowds?

CHRISTMAS EVE- ARE LINE UPS IN THE MALLS THE TRUE MEANING

Christmas Eve can be a stressful, mad rush of a day for many people here in Canada. Buying everything at the last minute and wrapping gifts all night. By starting the process very early in the Fall, the day can be a joyful reflection of the meaning of why we celebrate in the first place. Writing a last minute email, calling a friend or relative to wish a Merry Christmas, perhaps picking up some fresh bread or buns, last minute tidy up for welcoming guests but being home and taking time to stop and smell the poinsettas is my idea of savouring all that is Christmas! Good Catholics attend midnight mass! Protestants went to church yesterday or some will have special services on Christmas day at their places of worship. Reading the Christmas story to grandchildren brings back memories of discovering Christmas. Shopping until you drop or being home with loved ones enjoying the moment- you chose! Merry Christmas! Joyeux Noel! Buon Natale! Feliz Navidad!

A POSTCARD FROM BETHLEHEM

Bethlehem- the holy city! Renown for the birth of the Christ Child. Christians visit this place on any trip to Israel.

Beautifully located near open areas, Bethlehem is a beacon for all Christians.

The star of Bethlehem, the Shepherds' field and the Church of the Nativity are on any pilgrimage to the Holy Land. As we celebrate the Christmas season, a reminder of the true meaning can be found there.

CHRISTMAS HELPS US MISS AND REMEMBER THOSE WE LOVE

The first Christmas without a loved one is different. This is the first Christmas both my son-in-law and I do not have our Moms. Even though I did not spend Chrismas with my Mom the last few years as she would not travel much after the age of 80, there is still the reminder she is not here. The special gift or flower arrangement or card are not on my list anymore. Even when marriages happen and children must go to more than one function, sorting out whose house and what day, what time they will spend with which family can be complicated or not. Family moves away and the distance is felt at Christmas. All the texting, emails and phone calls does not make up for the person not being in the room or at the dinner table. Having some reminders of the person can help. My Mom was a "depression" Mom. She lived through the Great Depression and did not receive much at Christmas time so she tried to make Christmas special for us. Our stocking always had a large delicious apple in it along with other treats. So each Christmas I must have some delicious apples in a basket on the table. Red carnations remind my husband of his Mom. So traditions can include little things that have meaning to the people present without being morbid! All the letters, cards and emails received can be displayed in a prominent place. Remembering people we love is a good way to honour family and life! Do you do something meaningful for the lost ones in your life? Do you have little traditions unique to you?

CHRISTMAS IS IN THE AIR

Trudging to work yesterday with yet another bag with a Christmas gift, it is apparent that the mood has become festive. Workmates sneaking gifts to each other. Christmas cards exchanged between  hospital programs lighten the mood. Families returning to the hospital with gifts, chocolates and cards thanking staff for their wonderful care of their loved ones. Our doctors giving special gift baskets or trays of food to the team for their support during the year. Christmas is an opportunity to stop and remember people. Like Marjorie in Portland Oregon! Adolph and I met her on the beach in Waikiki on our honeymoon in 1971. We have exchanged Christmas cards, sent postcards and sometimes small gifts like the baby blanket she made for Natasha from colourful Hawaiian material over the years. We did not receive a card from her last year. Do I send one this year? Well I did with my chatty newsletter. Waiting in my email box was a message from her son! Expecting the worst, well actually not. Marjorie will be 97 next April. Her son helps with her Christmas cards. Marjorie had thrown out the envelope with the card and for some reason crossed out our address in her address book. She can get mixed up about things! He updated us and we sent our address to him. It makes Christmas happy and fun to have such events! Marjorie is still in the same house since 1955!! Then there are the moments of driving at night to some functions and looking at the beautiful Christmas lights on houses. The small Christmas moments such as delivering presents to the grandchildren and putting them under their trees. The enthusiasm of looking to see which present is for which person! The drive home with all the last minute frantic drivers trying to rush to stores for those gifts is also part of the Christmas moment. Can you tell I love Christmas! I am a Christmas groupie! Seeing smiles on people's faces brings joy! Like our dinner party last Saturday with good and beloved friends! An opportunity again to make an event special! There is more to come but the magic of Christmas is starting to happen! Can you feel it?

NANA SAYS THE DEATH OF A CHILD IS THE WORST GRIEF

With the events from the United States-Sandy Hook Elementary School- it brings home how tragic and unbearable it is when a child dies. It was not just the little children but even the adults were someone's children. The killer's father is grieving too. It is said a parent should not have to bury a child. It made me think of the war zones where little children die too and how devastating it is for those parents. Does a parent get over the death? Maybe! Copes, moves on but putting the little one  to rest is a life long process. I had a work mate who lost a child in the Air India crash. He knew families that made their children's rooms into shrines! Then what becomes normal grief and what becomes pathological grief carry fine lines between them. All the counselling in the world may not take away the pain, just give strategies for living! When an event affects a community there is common bonding between people. However, each situation is unique to that family. How to help siblings deal with the loss again is unique to each family! It is difficult not to have a "ghost" remain in the family, always expecting the other children to remember but do they have to carry the same burden as the parent. Loving the living may become stressful for a parent but necessary. The movie Ordinary People carried that theme. The mother could not love her living son as she could not let go of her loss. The living child should not be made to feel less loved and it can happen very honestly. Grief is so overwhelming and painful that good people can become consumed with it. It takes the time it needs to take. There are organizations that help families grieve. Offering groups for siblings that use art, music, story telling are some of the strategies that help children process. Schools with grief counsellors and projects are ways to process events. Hugging our children too tightly is not the way to let them live. Parents always worry about their little ones and big ones too- it is natural. Finding ways for living and yet remembering take patience and creativity. Letting the feelings flow naturally. Every child's loss is huge for families. It does not take a major event for a death to occur. If you know someone who has lost a child, reach out, listen to the story! To all who have lost a child, take heart that life can go on but there will be a piece missing! Find ways to honour your loss without letting it destroy your life! Accept the love of those around you!

CHRISTMAS WREATHS EVERYWHERE

Nothing says Christmas like a wreath. They come in all shapes and sizes. Most homes will have one somewhere- often on a front door. Using local pine cones and pretty bought corsages, and a metal ring, this one has served several years. Perhaps needing some new pinecones to fill the empty spots. Remember my story from last year, the squirrel had been helping himself to some!

Using a variety of items from Christmas past, new wreaths can be created. Using a foam circle and pinning the fake apples on it to give some colour and putting it on a door leading from one room to the next, it fills an empty spot. The items were used at one time on garland on the staircase.

Balconies are welcome places for any wreath.

Hanging over our heads, helping to make the house festive brings Christmas to the hallway.

 Of course, a new addition from last year, the purple wreath over the grill of the fireplace to compliment the purple theme in the Family Room.

Working on a new wreath, using just gold and red bulbs with some recycled ribbon and old red tree decorations will need its own spot in the house. Wreaths are so pretty. Do you have some in your home? Did you make them? Or do you just buy the ready made store ones? They are a way to use decorations that don't make it to your Christmas tree anymore!

AN INTERFAITH SERVICE OF REMEMBRANCE

I always liked ecumenical services. As a child, Good Friday was shared by the different church groups in Thornhill and I attended many.  When my children were in Brownies and Guides, there was a service on Thinking Day in February each year with all the faith groups in Thornhill participating. So watching the service on TV in Newtown Connecticut, Sunday December 16, 2012, it was fitting that all faiths in the community came together to honour and mourn the losses. In times of great tragedy the love of a greater being- God does bring comfort. The politicians take the same seat as the community. Together was the message. When we reach out together, we can get through many things. Families together, community together supporting each other. As we continue to enjoy the Christmas season, let us come together and be there for each other- especially our children!

A POSTCARD FROM SANTA'S WORKSHOP

Bracebridge, Ontario has a year round Santa's Workshop. It helped the town survive when a new highway diverted traffic from the town.

Santa gets some help from the local White Tailed Deer. Real Reindeer live further north. Of course, Santa must return to the North Pole after his summer vacation in Bracebridge, Ontario. No postcard from the North Pole so this one has to do!

GIVE A HUG TO CONNECTICUT

There are no words to describe the terrible tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School- Friday December 14, 2012. Like President Obama said- Our hearts are broken! To all in that community, we send our love and prayers!

A CHRISTMAS BLANKET

Christmas time allows us to bring out all our festive things. Christmas colours-red, green and white- add to any room. My crocheted Christmas blanket hides the blue of the couch and even is good a coverup for an afternoon nap. It was fun to make allowing a different crochet stitch on each row. Different shades of green show the variety. Mexico and Italy have similar colours in their flags so if needed can be used for their occasions!!!! I just like it as it gives a change to the room and is practical at the same time! Perhaps it is time to start another one while I sit by the Christmas tree. What do you think?

HOW TO MAINTAIN PRIVACY IN A MODERN WORLD!

With all the social media, allowing credit card companies to know our financial business and sharing our lives, it is difficult to maintain real privacy. Some people allow their lives to be open books to everyone while others only try to share only with certain friends and family. Trusting that your confidence will not be broken is very important. Loose lips sink ships is my motto! If I do not share what someone has told me with anyone, then I can not be part of a gossip circle. If asked a question, simple answer- don't know! There is power with knowledge! Don't you love it when new information comes out- " I knew that all along" will come from those in your life who like to know everything about everyone. Well who cares! Eventually, new news becomes old news. As a social worker, confidentialiy is paramount. So work colleagues and friends will share concerns and information in a safe way! So are you a trusted friend? Do you like to maintain your own privacy about certain aspects of your life? Do you like to be an open book for all to see? Privacy, private thoughts and confidentiality are interesting concepts in this modern world!

NANA SAYS HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN STRIKE ACTION TO YOUR CHILD?

As the teachers' rotating one day strike arrives in York Region- the area above Toronto- Thursday Day 13, the dilemma is explaining to a child that the teachers will not be working. Little children may only see the teachers are angry with them. Parents who have been scrambling to find day care or needing to take a cherished vacation day to stay home to be with their children can not help but be annoyed. Children feel the annoyance and want to love Mommy and Daddy and like their teacher. There is really little sympathy for the strike from the community of parents! Will teachers with their own children need to take them on the picket line? Strike action of any kind always leaves bad feelings for time to come. Having lived through TTC strikes in Toronto, especially the summer of 1974- 3 weeks- ridership was down. The working to rule has stopped many needed activities at the schools. High School students needing sports' activities to be scouted by college and universities may miss out on much needed scholarships. So what to tell our children! How to keep the conversation fair is not easy! Parents have a tough job in explaining! Honestly, I do not have any answers. Grandparents throughout the region are available tomorrow to help their working children!

A SIMPLE CHRISTMAS CENTERPIECE

With all the wonderful ideas for Christmas decor, simple can be just as pretty. Always conscious of safety and wanting to use candles at an upcoming dinner party, this simple centerpiece was created. Using my resources at hand, I think it turned out rather well! What do you think? Have you created projects for the festive season? Recycling old Christmas decorations, ribbons and other odds n ends can make your home cozy and warm!

JUST TWO WEEKS TO GO TO CHRISTMAS

The panic is in the air. If shopping is not started, people are worried how will it be done. Houses decorated, lights up, presents needing wrapping and social functions in full swing make the season busy. Slow down and write a list, prioritize and use modern methods. Gift wrapping for example can be done at the store or at a mall booth where for a nominal fee someone else does it for you. Gift bags and tissue or just decorative gift boxes make it easy and inexpensive. Buy the significant items for the holiday meals- once the turkey, ham or roast is bought- the rest of the meal falls into place. Homemade baking is good but remember there are many bake shops and sections of the supermarkets just waiting for your businsess. Many families share the load with everyone bringing a dish to holiday meals. Who invented gift baskets? They are a treat and a great help to last minute shoppers. A beautiful flower arrangement is a welcome addition to anyone's home. If Christmas is about family, slow down to enjoy the family. Slow down and enjoy your friends and work colleagues. So take your finger off the panic button! It's okay all will be done!

And the mess will be put away in time!

A POSTCARD FROM JAPAN

Another earthquake in Japan made me think of the people there. So I hunted to determine if I had any postcards from there

The postcard was sent to my parents from their friends Mike and Arleen Furgala.
"Oct 29/81- Hi Dear "Parks", There we go "low-flying" to Kyoto & Nara. Japan is beautiful colours and people but oh, so busy. Enjoying the adventure of "Interline tour". Keep well, Love, Mike and Arleen" The postcard features the Bullet Trains at Tokyo Central Railroad.
Mike was a captain with Air Canada like Dad. He and his wife Arleen were dear friends of the family. They travelled more than my folks. Arleen, unlike Mom, liked to fly!
If you want a postcard featured here, email me at abdm@rogers.com so I can send you my address so you can send me a postcard.

LET THE CHRISTMAS PARTIES BEGIN

December is in full swing with the last minute preparations for the festivities. Work dinner/dance tonight and a work pot luck next week are some of the fun things for me and my group of acquaintances. It is fun to belong to social situations. The year I was laid off, it was difficult not to be part of such events. So look around you, are there people that could be added to your functions. Someone who could benefit from a social gathering. If you have a Christmas open house, could you add one more person? Even though many people complain there is too much to do and too many events, there is an undercurrent of real enjoyment and belonging when invited. If taken away, there is an emptiness. Adding people to events, does fill up the room and give some real social time to those people. Quieter family Christmas Eve and Christmas dinners may be your choice too. After the buzz of the season it is comforting to look forward to some quality family time with smaller gatherings. There are so many plays and concerts too that can bring a lonely person to a social gathering. Buy a ticket for one and go join in the fun. Of course, the church doors are open everywhere. We all know that the great bakers will bring their goods to Church socials, dinners and pot lucks. Parties and fun, joining others in celebration are some of the Christian values of reaching out to others! Worship with others could not be more Christian and the real meaning of the season!

NANA SAYS CHILDREN KEEP US YOUNG AT CHRISTMAS

As we age the magic of Christmas fades and becomes a series of tasks to be done. Then little children come along and remind us of the magic. Visiting the Christmas story of Jesus in the manger and providing a creche to act out the story helps with the process. Decorating with items that can be touched and enjoyed give children and grandparents a chance to share some moments together. While babysitting two of my grandsons after work, we were turning on the musical ornaments, playing with the Hallmark snowman items, and building a huge tower with some decorative Christmas boxes while waiting for "Mommy" to pick them up. Letting little children direct their play can be fun. Having some Christmas hats to wear rounded out the play. In the "hustle and bustle" of the season, find moments just to slow down and enjoy the little children in your life. Watching my grandsons running around with the hats- bought at the Dollar store- well for a dollar was enjoyable. Since parents are busy with work, shopping and creating those Santa moments, grandparents can create some good memories for their family members. A reminder that many Christmas decorations that can be broken are left in boxes in the closet to be put out when the grandchildren are older. I love my home to be fun so I have the items that can be touched out on tables. The next visit may include some spontaneous craft moments with the older granddaughter when she comes. There is so much pressure for parents this time of year with the constant reminders for children to be good - Santa is watching! So children and grandparents together can be the relief needed. Besides as grandparents, aren't we all just little children at heart anyway!!

SANTA IS EVERYWHERE!

Santa is very busy this time of year. With parades and pictures with young children along with answering all those letters, no wonder he turns to food to keep sane. Are you a Santa helper? Are you the one in your family that keeps on giving? Do you make sure your loved ones have a good Christmas? Do you take joy in the wonders of the season? Or are you Scrooge with the bah humbug? Watch out because your family Santa is watching and might just bring some cheer into your life! Oh Christmas! The season! Like the real Santa with the big belly, have a chocolate or two to keep going! 

RESILIENCE-CAN YOU BOUNCE BACK?

Life has its twists and turns; its ups and downs; its good time and bad times- the list could go on! Resilience allows us to bounce back and take whatever life can deal us! I have learnt to have a backup plan. I usually ask myself- what is the worst thing that could happen in this situation- what do I do? What is the second worst thing- what do I do? How can I be proactive so the worst does not happen? If it does, can I get through it? As we all age, we have coped and dealt with many misfortunes. Believe it or not the skin has become tougher so there are skills and abilities that help us get to the end of the tunnel! It does not mean there is no pain, no anxiety, no depression and sometimes lots of crying! Even- the why me? Remember life is not fair! Some people honestly do not deal with the same issues as others. Some get all aces while others get all 2s in the deck of life! It is what is done with the cards and how we play them! Resilience! Resilient! Are these words in your consciousness? Can you reflect on your life realizing- yes, I am resilient! I have made it through many tough times!

A POSTCARD FROM CASA LOMA TORONTO ONTARIO CANADA

A visit to Toronto often includes a trip to see Casa Loma.

It sits on a hill close to downtown Toronto. Built in 1911-1914 by Sir Henry Pellat who was an eccentric, wealthy man. He and his wife- Lady Pellat lived there brom 1913 to 1923 but the cost of the place became unbearable for them. The "castle" has a secret staircase and an underground tunnel to the stable  over a block away.

There are 98 rooms, 5 different architectural styles and a view of the city from the 300 foot tower. Top left, the billard room was a popular place after dinner.  Top right- features a view of the stables used for the horses of the Queen's Own Rifles of Canada. My favourite is the bottom right- the Conservatory.You can see the outside from the full view of Casa Loma in the top postcard section. It is that rectangle part that sticks out from the main floor. What a sun room full of plants! Wouldn't any modern huge millionaire's home envy this feature? Bottom right- the Oak room wich was Sir Henry's drawing room. The panels were completed by artisans in England then shipped to Canada.
When Sir Henry and his wife could no longer afford to live there, the City took it over. Now Tourists roam on guided tours through the castle. There are many social events held there such as weddings and other fund raising functions. Once easy to book, it now has its own modern price tag. My first Prom, Grade 11 in 1967, was held there at a minimal cost. I am certain most High Schools today can no longer afford to book such an extravagant place. I visited it several times as a child in Toronto. I have photos of my girls taken on one of those summer day trip jaunts. Of course a photo of them in the Conservatory is included! The grounds are beautiful too. Flowers, bushes and trees abound! With all the modern glass towers, this whimsical site takes us to another time! If you come to Toronto, be sure to put it on your list of places to visit!
If you want a postcard featured here, email at abdm@rogers.com and I will send you my address so you can send me a postcard.