THE LAST DAY OF APRIL BRINGS MY 1000TH POST

The blogging world is an intersting one. I always wished I could have had this luxury in my life at a young age. Loving to write  has  a forum with this blog. As my regular readers know, I try to post every day. Some posts better than others. My recurring themes- a  postcard from, nana says, clinical, as well as some whimsical, historical, genealogical, gardening and many misc. ones fill the posts. Readers come from all over the world but there are many from Russia, Germany and the United States. Family and friends read regularly so thanks goes out to you. Using my photos allows another creative edge to my day and life. Wherever I go I look for images, symbols and ideas for the blog. I tell people I blog as I am always trying to market it. Hoping it will continue to take me in new directions. So where will it-this blog of mine take me for the next 1000 if I have the blessing of continuing to write, research and explore the world in which I live? Will you come back and visit?

DAFFODIL-THE HAPPY SYMBOL FOR CANCER

As April wides down, we are reminded of it as the month to remember cancer and look at research for its cure. Small daffodil symbols are worn by many. As so many families have lost loved ones to the ravages of the disease, the daffodil offers hope for a brighter future.

Was it chosen because it is " a happy flower" ? There is no fragrance. The yellow and white are basic colours. Why is it the symbol for cancer? It is a welcome spring flower in any garden!

GARDENING IS GREAT EXERCISE

Besides having a pretty and organized garden, the work needed to sustain a garden sure helps one to exercise. The bending, the racking, the lifting to name a few of the activities could be an interesting workout video if someone was so inclined. There are exercise routines and videos of all kinds. Why hasn't anyone thought of a gardening one? If you think all muscles groups are not being worked, try walking after several hours in the garden. Brazilian Butt here we come with all that squatting with planting!!

THE WEEKEND IS NEVER LONG ENOUGH

It just seems it's Friday and time to get into the weekend. Then it's Sunday night and time to organize for the week. Why is it we all try to pack more things into two days then we do in five? Nice weather brngs everyone outside. Walking, biking, and tons of yard work! People are busy! There is a renewed joy to being outside. The longer days do allow some time to enjoy the outdoors. The weekend just flies by! Oh to have a two day week job and a five day weekend! Hum-wonder if anyone would go for it??

APRIL SHOWERS BRING MAY FLOWERS

Is a wonderful spring saying! April has little gems of its own! Amongst the brown of the garden are the early flowers of the season. Do you know the name of this one? Beautiful shade of blue, isn't it!

WHAT NOT TO SAY WHEN SOMEONE DIES

Okay, people do mean well. However, anyone in a grief situation does not want to hear certain things. She's not suffering anymore. Your question-why did she have to suffer in the first place? He's in a better place. Your question- isn't the better place by my side? A miscarriage is nature's way of getting rid of a defective child. Your question-how do you know that? How do you know my feelings about the loss of my baby? Or your baby is an angel with God! Your question- Doesn't God have enough angels? She was old and lived a long life. Your question- isn't it okay that I wanted her for another day? In any grief situation, if you do not know what to say then just say you are sorry! Listen and be with the person! Bring food! Do not rush the person through their grief! Well it has been 3 months and it is time for you to move on! Move on to where? Yes, when a person is older there is more acceptance of the death. I often say-it doesn't matter how old someone is, the person has been such a part of our lives and will be missed! It is okay to grieve the 101 year old person's death! How would you answer the question-why is God punishing me? Do you believe there is a plan he makes and punishes certain people with a horrific loss? I usually say God does not make such a master plan. Life happens to us! Look to him for comfort and healing! Like the wonderful poem of Footprints in the Sand! Be considerate of the grieving family! For example,I remember  the hours I put in preparing for my mother-in-law's wake after the funeral at our home. 50 people at my house. Prior to her death, 3 weeks of gruelling back and forth to the hospital after 3 years of her cancer. Casually I asked one of the guests, oh I hope the coffee is okay? Her answer was- it is too strong for me! The answer should have been-it's okay! Not a time to get personal! Not about you but the family! So remember the good, nice or insensitive things you say do get remembered! Try to reflect on the whole journey the family has taken, not the food served for a little lunch after a service! If you really do not care about the person's feelings, then say nothing and do not acknowledge you know about the situation! Have you ever remembered what and how people treated you through a tough situation?

NANA SAYS CHILDREN'S BIRTHDAYS ARE FUN

Each month can bring a birthday celebration in large families. When it's a child's birthday, then there is additional excitement. Birthday parties have expanded to large indoor playgrounds, cooking lessons, reptile or magic shows! Just to name a few! A large balloon with the party's theme is a given.

Or just a big Happy Birthday! Despite the amount of money that is often spent on birthdays parties, a parent can spend less with the main "ingredients" occurring. The balloon, a cake with the child's name and some presents! A few friends for a dinner, lunch, or movie that does not have to break the bank! Of course, older children like money! Often there is a family birthday celebration where other family members can bring some food to help the parents! Children remember they were the centre of attention for their day. Loot bags with little goodies let the other children feel the fun! Of course the "big kids", i.e. the grandparents, usually enjoy the celebration as much as the little kids. Like this Nana, someone to take copious pictures to share with family members! There are three celebrating this month- one big girl-after 29 ages are not recorded- and two little ones- a grandson turning 5 and a little great-nephew turning 1! So Happy Birthday to all who celebrate this month!

LOOKING DIFFERENT-DOES BEAUTY COUNT?

What a touching news clip on Canada AM? A young woman with a facial deformity makes a difference. Intelligent but having lived a life where she stayed out of the public light. In her youth, she was criticized for her looks. She came forward to complain to a news network when they published pictures of deformed people from the Viet Nam war with a warning the pictures may be hard on viewers. She made them change it. Good for her! Is it time to embrace people who look different? What is normal? What is beauty? What makes a person ridicule another? If one just listened to her message, there was no difference. One of my jobs was working at the Canadian National Institute for the Blind. Many of my colleagues were totally blind so had no idea how I looked. The work relationship was based on personality and voice. It was rather different but good. Sometimes a new person would ask me to describe myself. What do you say? They had no concept of pretty, slim or svelte. Honestly they did not care! Our culture bases too much on looks. The handsome man has a better chance at a promotion! The beautiful woman gets the richer husband! What happened to  do the best with all your attributes? Now men are criticized if they do not marry a pretty woman! However a pretty woman can marry an ugly man as long as he has money! Have you ever noticed that a person's looks changes the longer you know him or her? Someone that was not so pretty initially becomes better looking if the kindness and warmth emerges from within that person! Have you ever found a beautiful looking person to become ugly if there was too much conceit and self-centeredness? Or the reverse? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! Beauty is skin deep, is it not?

EARTH DAY 2013

A day to celebrate the Earth. Locally we are supposed to pick up garbage and clean our area. Perhaps we should hand out flyers to say not to litter in the first place. Every day should be Earth Day. Care about the environment. Car pool to save on gas emissions! Compost-which we have done since we owned a house! Plant a tree! So what are you doing for Earth Day?

THE EARLY MORNING SPRING WALK

Cooler than anticipated for April spring weather , an early morning walk invigorates and starts the day. Birds singing. A pair of Canada Geese resting and nesting! Police returning to the station for a change of shift. Workers going to work at the bus stop. Streets with few cars! Love it! The beginning of  new possibilities. Time to think. Time to observe. Time to listen to the sounds of the local environment. Not just exercise but a time for reflection!

WOULD YOU BE A TISSUE OR ORGAN DONOR?

It's Tissue and Organ Donor week in Ontario. So at a lecture to advocate and hear the stories of people who have received an organ or about the family member who was a donor, I was reminded of my own decision. Several years ago, I signed my driver's license until it changed that it goes on the Provincial Health Card indicating my wishes. So I am a donor-if needed. Honestly, I really do not want to be a donor. I need and want my organs today planning on living as long as I can. However, I believed it would take the pressure off my husband and children to have to make a decision if the time ever presented itself. At a very tragic moment, having this delicate conversation can be helped along by knowing a person's wishes! Having a discussion with family members about what you would want to do and what they would want can be very informal but useful if ever a crisis occurred. So would you be a tissue or organ donor?

WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE?

No not the cheesy smile you need to hold when having your picture taken or when you greet your customer? Hi can I help you, fake smile. But when something really just touches you. You find yourself smiling. We smile at the new baby to try to get the baby to smile back. We smile as we greet our colleagues with a good morning- forcing the smile. A sweet moment in a conversation with a loved one! Seeing something endearing on the news- a smile. Greeting a friend at a dinner party! Smiling when no one is around at a thought! Do we need more smiles in the world? Would they bring world peace? Our smiles! Smiling at a loved photo as a special moment in time! So what makes you smile from the heart?

NANA SAYS IT IS DIFFICULT WHEN CHILDREN TURN OFF SCHOOL

A colleauge expressed her dilemma. She is worried about her son who is in High School. He is 15 and doesn't care about school anymore. He is not trying. Teenagers are a hard group to influence. School is such an important part of the picture. We often tie school with the future. "You need to get good grades to go to university!" What does a 15 year old care about university or paying the bills one day? Too young to pull out of school for a year and work to get some life experience. Is there a subject he likes? Is there something he enjoys doing? Art? Marathon running? Football? Hockey? History? Math? Is he with a group of friends that are also turned off school? Could there be a mood disorder? Depressed? Some anxiety? Is he misbehaving at school or just not finishing his homework? When doing family therapy perodically in my career, these would be some of the areas to be explored. Sitting down as a parent and not just talking with our children but actually listening works better.  Hopefully, my colleague is talking with the school and the teachers to receive some guidance. Parenting is never easy. Especially with teenagers! No they have not changed with this generation. Even Socrates expressed his concern about the youth of his day.

TUESDAY THE MOST PRODUCTIVE DAY OF THE WEEK

So it is said. Monday out of the way. Too far from the weekend to wind down. So at the workplace a time to buckle down and get real work done. Or just another day, another opportunity to grab life and take it for a spin, a run, a walk or whatever gets your motor reeving!

A PROJECT WITH A DEADLINE

Do you ever notice a project gets completed faster with a deadline? I make crafts all the time. I like a stash of knitted and crocheted products for various reasons and events. However, if there is an event or a person in mind my hands move so much quicker. A dinner party gets more cleaning done in the same timeframe as routine cleaning. More baby blankets are designed and made with people in mind. The photos taken at personal gatherings are printed and scrapbooked in a timely fashion.  I need a deadline for my writing projects that are tackled slowly. They are getting done but not with the speed preferred. Give me a deadline, someone!

FACING YOUR FEARS

Fear can creep up and immobilize a person. Running may seem easy but the fear will chase you. Tackle your most difficult task first- the one you fear the most. With it out of the way, there is room to begin the enjoy the rest of your activities. Heights, public speaking, the dentist and just meeting new people for shy people are some of the big fears. Find ways to challenge your personal fears. Analyse where the fear may have originated. Fear comes from anxiety so there may have been an event big or small in your life accounting for it. What makes you afraid? Do you avoid those situations?

EACH DAWN BRINGS A NEW DAY

Early morning is my favourite time of the day. There is such a hope the day will bring something. Praying to the East where the sun rises, giving thanks for the new day. The quiet, the first cup of coffee, watching a news show while dressing and going about those routines to start the day. On weekends and vacation days, power walking at first light.  Sunrise brings beautiful skies. What is your favourite time of the day? Do you take the day in its stride?

BE A FRIEND TO HAVE A FRIEND

What is a friend? How does a new acquaintance become a friend? What draws us to certain people? Why is there such an incredible loss when we lose a friend- dies, moves away or dumps us?A childhood friend can decide you are not cool anymore! Some family members can be friends. Many children from large families only have their siblings as friends. New additions to families like a sweet sister-in-law can be a friend. And sometimes not! There are work friends-male and female. Although the old adage is a man can not have a woman as a friend. I don't believe this. I have had male friends because I don't make it sexual. Very simple!  Gay men make great friends! Sometimes cousins become friends! There is a blood connection as well as understanding the family dynamics. As a mother, I am not my child's friend but I can be supportive, friendly, loving and understanding. My children need to have their own friends. It is good to have friends of all ages. I can be the wise woman or just an old lady younger people like to have around for guidance! So are you a good friend! Do you like the company of your friends? Names like Rose, Mary, Larry, Lynda and others come to mind! Even my sister Marilee is a good friend! Who would your people be?

TWENTY MINUTES-WHAT CAN YOU ACHIEVE?

Committing to 20 minutes of activities can help to achieve something in your day. I remember an exercise program called the 20 minute workout that many people put down. I followed it for awhile and yes the program did help my body. It was actually 30 minutes because one was supposed to keep moving during the commercials. My body became toned. My walk to work is 20 minutes. My power walk on the weekend is 25 but if I try to walk faster I could probably reduce it to 20 minutes. Getting ready to go out and you have 20 minutes- empty a dishwasher, fold some laundry, write cheques for some bills- well you get the picture. Pockets of 20 minutes can occur throughout the day where there are many achievable tasks. Usually if we start with a small period of time for exercise, for example, there is incentive to do a little more. Personally I can not commit to drive to a gym and work out for two hours. I have bought exercise equipment for home use and will commit to the shorter time. Starting with one session in the morning and working on another at night becomes a good start. Yes, what often happens is the time increases.The time it takes to write my average post is 20 minutes-dedicated time first thing in the morning. My husband organizes his meal items in the morning and often it takes 20 minutes to finish the meal before it is ready to be served at dinner time.Unless he is making homemade egg noodles!  I organize my worksheets in the morning at work-usually about 20 minutes. The day is full of 20 minute intervals to use. If you are having a lazy or depressing day, saying to yourself-"well I could do something for 20 minutes." Sometimes it just helps to get started. 20 minutes is such a little part of the hour. Of course there are many activities that are 60 minutes long, a half day or a full day. By breaking them into shorter intervals, may help to get going! The garden- it can seem overwhelming but if one patch, 20 minutes at a time is attacked then work does get done. Biting off the little bits of any job eventually leads to the whole job being finished. There are 3 - 20 minute intervals in each hour of each day. Be creative in how you can use them! So what can you achieve in 20 minutes? Surprisingly, quite a lot!

NANA SAYS CHILDREN LOVE PUDDLES

So buy some colourful rain boots and let them have fun! It is also a time to remember safety- stay away from rivers and lakes with the Spring runoff. Watch out for the mud! It is easy to get stuck while playing on soft dirt. With bikes coming out, safety rules on the road can be revisited. Helmets for the adults too! As nature continues to offer many exciting occurrences such as spring bulbs and returning song birds, there are opportunities for those little science lessons. Back to fun-jump in a couple of puddles with the kids!

CROCUS-A SURE SIGN OF SPRING

These pretty little flowers do not last long in a garden. They are a sure sign that Spring is here. As the snow is melting and the cold rain comes, they are making their way from the soil. Brown on brown on brown then a bright little spot of colour-that's the Crocus!

SPRING-TIME TO DECLUTTER

So all the articles and home advice written currently. I spilled something in my bag I use for work - my purse, makeup bag, lunch etc. So emptied the items and washed the bag and cloth purse. Interesting- one grey knee high, old receipts, and other silly odds and ends along with the needed items. My thought- what if I was found and these items were all I had with me- what would the profilers say? Okay I watch too many crime shows. It did remind me of the times of cleaning out someone else's stuff. A person passes away and someone must go through the things. Why did an article get kept? A bit of a hoarder! The person was not as organized as he/she looked on the outside. Saving some momentos that were from another time. Do we declutter for organizing or do we want to hide our secrets? Getting rid of old diaries, sorting letters and cards and burning bills from early years can be activities that are ongoing. Especially clothes- are there items bought on sale that were never worn? Just letting go! Okay if we discard then there is room to buy new things! I have favourite magazines stacked by the door to put somewhere. No not the recycling bin but for someone else to read. The lounges at work are a good place! Having cleaned out parts of two different parental homes, I view my stuff with an eye that my children may have to go through it one day. Anytime an area becomes too well- cluttered- I think of them.  Couples remarrying and merging two homes can go through this process. Of course, downsizing one day may solve some problem for me. How about you? Does Spring bring an urge to purge?

CANADA AND VIMY RIDGE

April 9, 1917 is an important day in Canadian history. Each year I write about Vimy Ridge. During World War One, it was a significant battle in the war where our Canadians made a mark. It was important in our family history as my grandfather- Ernest Adolphus Ellis was a hero. I wrote a long note on my blog about him on April 9, 2011. My cousin, Roy Ellis added much detail in his comments. So for a longer and well written tribute by two descendants you can read that post. In France at Vimy, there is a huge monument honouring the Canadians and their efforts. For the war historian there are several websites on Vimy Ridge. It is possible to order little Vimy Ridge pins-I have several that I will give to my grandchildren. It is also a day to reflect and honour our current Armed Forces who help to keep our country safe and free. We enjoy our peace today because of them. War is not remembered to glorify it but to know that a peaceful nation had to sweat and bleed to reach an understanding that it is better to live side by side than fight. Look at Canada and the United States. The War of 1812 taught us that we were more useful as friendly neighbours than adversaries!

A TIME TO REMEMBER

Honouring those who have left us can be done in various ways. A memorial church service! A tree at the cottage! A rose bush in the garden! Favourite flowers on the table at the meal! Although time goes on, stopping and allowing ourselves to remember someone we loved can bring renewed comfort. Trying to pretend life has moved on completely is not real. Wallowing in grief is not healthy! Little pockets of remembrance are positive. We put our hands in, bring out the memories then put them away again for another time!

HOW BORING ARE YOU?

Sometimes we can find ourselves bored with many areas of our lives. To say " I am bored" can have many implications. What is boring? What activities do you do that bring this feeling? Many things we do routinely can be boring but necessary. The same old work meetings, the same old household tasks, the same old drive to work- well can be boring. Can we use this feeling of boredom to trigger us to find things in our lives that are not boring? Doing a boring activity like yard work but the end result is a pretty garden with the reward of it just looking good! Cleaning that cluttered closet-boring- but with the feeling of a job well done. Finishing those many little projects that take energy to complete- patch the hole in the wall, wash the car, sew on some buttons- well you know what those little projects can be. Boredom prompts us in many ways. Doing the boring things first enables us to move on to the ones with rewards. Household task, then continue reading the book. Reviewing the charts then go see the patients. Editing the written word then continue to write something creative. Boredom, boring are wasted energy users! Can we label the tasks differently? Is procrastination connected with boredom? My Dad used to say- People that are bored are also boring! Hum, some food for thought!

DO YOU SLEEP WELL?

What keeps you awake at night? Do you have vivid story line dreams? Do you worry? Poor sleep can be a reflection of what happens during the day or in one's life. Grief reactions bring poor sleep. Do you fall asleep then wake in the early hours? There are often many suggestions of how to sleep well. Some work and some do not work. Some people need to get up at night, have a hot beverage, read then go back to sleep. We are told as we age, we have many naps and a shorter night sleep. Eight hours of sleep is the golden amount of sleep. Some sleep more, some sleep less. Having a normal bed time and routine is supposed to help with sleep. In couples, there can be two separate sleep habits. One person keeps waking up the other person. Thus the separate bedrooms-more to do with sleep habits. Those mattresses divided in the middle but connected so when one fidgets the other does not get the movement. Of course, there are medicinal aids- sleeping pills. Do they work and for how long? Having a busy exhausting day and being very tired can backfire. Sometimes we can be too wired to sleep! Along with talk about the weather, sleep talk can be part of a conversation.  How you sleep is part of a assessment of depression! Poor sleep can be an indicator of health issues! Anxiety and sleep do go together! However, some people always sleep well and others always have problems. So do you sleep well?

NANA SAYS THE EASTER EGG HUNT TEACHES A LIFE LESSON

My grandchildren had their Easter Egg hunt at their houses. The Easter Bunny also visited Nana and Grandpa's house. Watching the little ones run around looking for the two kinds of eggs- chocolate wrapped in coloured tin foil and coloured sugar eggs- it was a delight. The excitement of finding the eggs made for a noisy and good family time. With their baskets filled with eggs, there was the joy of how many they found. The observation was this-there was no stuffing their little faces with their find! The eggs sat in the baskets. It seemed the joy was in the search and finding them. A little like our hunt in life for new things and acquiring possessions! We fill our baskets with stuff! But do we use the stuff? I am sure a few eggs will be sampled by the children! Like the bag of Halloween treats that eventually gets thrown out after weeks of gathering dust, will the little eggs find their way to the trash? Life is the hunt! Finding something new! What do you think? Is this your experience with your children and grandchildren?

FAMILIES EBB AND FLOW

Like a river. The life cycles- a baby, a child, a marriage, living, a funeral- are some of the occurrences. There are functional and dysfunctional families with stories and adventures. There are happy times and sad times but often just daily ordinary times with living. A movie I like-Letters to Juliette- has a great line. One of the characters said when seeing a large established home, said " wouldn't it be nice to have it all without all the messy bits!"The lead actress says" life is the messy bits." Like garbage day, a clogged kitchen drain, needing to take the children to extra activities, a high fever, dragging your butt to work for a stressful day but coming home and being with family. Living through the adventures and misadventures with family. When some family members are gone, missing them on not only special occasions but many other occasions. Being here long enough to see the family grow. So losing some, but gaining some new ones. Seeing a picture of a great-grandmother holding a new great grandchild- now knowing there must be an inner joy that someone new has come into the family. As the river moves with its seasons so does the family!

DO YOU DO APRIL FOOLS' JOKES?

April 1 known for April Fools' practical jokes and pranks throughout the world and throughout history. As you know I love history so I decided to some research only to have my head swimming in facts and no real definitive answer about the day. Chaucer's Canterbury Tales-1892 has some reference to the day. The Persian Nowruz is credited for being the 13th day after their New Year's. Even changing the calendar from the Julian to the Gregorian has taken some credit. The French attach paper fish to the backs of people-poisson l'avril or even the Italians-pesce d'aprile are supposedly attached. A day to perform those pranks but only until noon. Why in Canada? Apparently whatever customs existed in France, Britain and the Netherlands were brought to the colonies in North America. So no jokes from me! Why not? I never liked practical jokes. I always have found them to be too passive-aggressive! Even when teasing or joking, there can always be an undercurrent of harm or resentment! I like funny jokes and humour and nice surprises! I can even laugh at myself! I laugh at my husband, my cute klutz! But today everyone is allowed to play those practical jokes! So are you an April Fool? Did someone play a joke on you? Or are you the prankster?

APRIL-THAT REAL SPRING MONTH

No matter how cool the beginning of April can be, Spring has really arrived! Each day with the sprouting of those early bulbs in the garden, the renewel of life has begun. Even the birds, especially the chirping Robin at 5 in the morning, let us know the season is here. I know there can and have been snowstorms in April but let's just rejoice with the new month!