WHAT NOT TO SAY WHEN SOMEONE DIES

Okay, people do mean well. However, anyone in a grief situation does not want to hear certain things. She's not suffering anymore. Your question-why did she have to suffer in the first place? He's in a better place. Your question- isn't the better place by my side? A miscarriage is nature's way of getting rid of a defective child. Your question-how do you know that? How do you know my feelings about the loss of my baby? Or your baby is an angel with God! Your question- Doesn't God have enough angels? She was old and lived a long life. Your question- isn't it okay that I wanted her for another day? In any grief situation, if you do not know what to say then just say you are sorry! Listen and be with the person! Bring food! Do not rush the person through their grief! Well it has been 3 months and it is time for you to move on! Move on to where? Yes, when a person is older there is more acceptance of the death. I often say-it doesn't matter how old someone is, the person has been such a part of our lives and will be missed! It is okay to grieve the 101 year old person's death! How would you answer the question-why is God punishing me? Do you believe there is a plan he makes and punishes certain people with a horrific loss? I usually say God does not make such a master plan. Life happens to us! Look to him for comfort and healing! Like the wonderful poem of Footprints in the Sand! Be considerate of the grieving family! For example,I remember  the hours I put in preparing for my mother-in-law's wake after the funeral at our home. 50 people at my house. Prior to her death, 3 weeks of gruelling back and forth to the hospital after 3 years of her cancer. Casually I asked one of the guests, oh I hope the coffee is okay? Her answer was- it is too strong for me! The answer should have been-it's okay! Not a time to get personal! Not about you but the family! So remember the good, nice or insensitive things you say do get remembered! Try to reflect on the whole journey the family has taken, not the food served for a little lunch after a service! If you really do not care about the person's feelings, then say nothing and do not acknowledge you know about the situation! Have you ever remembered what and how people treated you through a tough situation?