SHOULD WE INFANTILZE OUR ELDERLY?

As a clinical Social Worker, it often comes to my attention that it is difficult to know when to give advice to our elderly folks and when to allow them to live their lives the way they have lived. Taking away favourite foods or drinks to preserve the health of someone who is elderly and has- well elderly body parts can become a dilemma for family members! For example, many Nursing Homes will let the resident have a beer daily if it was part of the lifestyle and does not interfere with medications. Others will not as their care becomes micromanaged.  Many doctors who deal with Geriatrics will not do unnecessary blood tests as the body chemistry changes as we age . What was normal at 40 may not be the person's new normal at 91! It is sometimes easier to start to treat our elderly parents as "children" because it takes us away from the emotional piece- sadness of seeing them not as functional as they once had been! The old sibling rivalries may emerge- who is the better child and does more for the parent! There are no right or wrong answers when it comes to doing and loving our elderly folks! Each child must have their own unique relationship and continue to engage with their parent without the interference of others. In my practice I encourage my families to find their way with their parent. Offering strategies to work on it.  To find peace and love as the end of life is around the corner for our loved is hard! Are you struggling with an aging parent? Do you find yourself in dilemmas? Do you find the old sibling rivalries rear their ugly heads? What do you do to make it work?