Exists in many different circles. No matter how much is done for someone there always seems to be more needed. Helping those to help themselves is adherent in my profession. However, if there are unfixable chronic items, the focus is on the areas that can be assisted. What could be chronic- old age, empty nest, illness that is debilitating, etc. If you feel sorry for someone then the line is crossed. Everything is not fixable! My dilemma comes working with some individuals who think they alone can fix everything in the patient's, family's and friends' lives. Do you think it can be annoying? Is it fun to work beside a constant crusader for everything- Not! A good clinician regardless of the field, knows clinical boundaries and works with the team to determine a good treatment plan. Frankly, in most situations there are few solutions to any problem and a team consensus works well. We have all worked for micromanagers who must be involved in every detail of the team's undertakings. We have had or know of a mother or father who must control and be involved in every aspect of their child's life. Marriage has rescuers. Friendships have rescuers. After awhile the rescuer starts to notice how people pull away. Everyone likes the opportunity to figure out what needs to be done. The good therapist is a facilitator, not a solution adviser and a takeover champion! The rescuer always tries to make others feel guilty because no one's efforts are quite as good! Actually, I find it boring! I like my work where a person can be heard then perhaps guided to find solutions for life that work for that person not what I think should work. My efforts are just an instrument not the be all and end all! I question where does the need to rescue originate? Why does the rescuer not trust others to assist with the solutions? What is quite funny is Social Work has the reputation of trying to save the world! Actually, a good Social Worker works with their client group to assist, direct, encourage a course of action but does not rescue! What is needed is assessed and what are chronic issues are filtered! Are you a rescuer? Do you like that role? Do rescuers annoy you? Do you ever play helpless so you can be rescued?
Sunday, July 24, 2011
THE RESCUE SYNDROME
Exists in many different circles. No matter how much is done for someone there always seems to be more needed. Helping those to help themselves is adherent in my profession. However, if there are unfixable chronic items, the focus is on the areas that can be assisted. What could be chronic- old age, empty nest, illness that is debilitating, etc. If you feel sorry for someone then the line is crossed. Everything is not fixable! My dilemma comes working with some individuals who think they alone can fix everything in the patient's, family's and friends' lives. Do you think it can be annoying? Is it fun to work beside a constant crusader for everything- Not! A good clinician regardless of the field, knows clinical boundaries and works with the team to determine a good treatment plan. Frankly, in most situations there are few solutions to any problem and a team consensus works well. We have all worked for micromanagers who must be involved in every detail of the team's undertakings. We have had or know of a mother or father who must control and be involved in every aspect of their child's life. Marriage has rescuers. Friendships have rescuers. After awhile the rescuer starts to notice how people pull away. Everyone likes the opportunity to figure out what needs to be done. The good therapist is a facilitator, not a solution adviser and a takeover champion! The rescuer always tries to make others feel guilty because no one's efforts are quite as good! Actually, I find it boring! I like my work where a person can be heard then perhaps guided to find solutions for life that work for that person not what I think should work. My efforts are just an instrument not the be all and end all! I question where does the need to rescue originate? Why does the rescuer not trust others to assist with the solutions? What is quite funny is Social Work has the reputation of trying to save the world! Actually, a good Social Worker works with their client group to assist, direct, encourage a course of action but does not rescue! What is needed is assessed and what are chronic issues are filtered! Are you a rescuer? Do you like that role? Do rescuers annoy you? Do you ever play helpless so you can be rescued?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Facilitate, the key word. "Every human being must find his own way to cope with severe loss, and the only job of a true friend is to facilitate whatever method he chooses" (Caleb Carr)
ReplyDelete