SAYING GOODBYE TO A FRIEND

Friends are important people in our lives. We have relatives connected by blood and had little choice who our family may be! But a friend is one of life's blessing! Someone new in our life that becomes so meaningful. Yesterday our family said goodbye to a friend. She will be missed but not forgotten! Have you lost a friend lately?

NANA SAYS PARENTING TEACHES PATIENCE

Patience often means learning to wait. When pregnant, must wait until the baby is ready to come. Wait until the baby finishes eating. Wait for the burp! Wait until the crying is over and the baby can be put down! Wait for the toddler to put on his/her own shoes! Getting children organized so you can leave on time. Letting children learn at their own pace takes patience. The teenager and the curfew-waiting until the last one is home. If you do not learn to be more patient as a parent then you do not get parenting. Parenting is about teaching and helping the children in your life to learn. Learn manners, respect for others and of course about relationships and what it means to love someone. Our ability to be patient with the little ones and even older- teenagers, young 20's we allow the children to be what they need to be. The cases I would have in family therapy cases often was just the miscommunication and trying to have the child be something the parents wanted. An example, a teenage girl was having problems at school and was skipping class. The mother was focussed on how clean the house should be. The girl did not polish the water spots on the bathroom taps. It was her house and she wanted things a certain way! Hum!  Having a discussion about patience and trying to see what the child needed. Using narrative therapy techniques- the problem is the problem, not the person! Why is the child avoiding school? Engaging the whole family in the process of change can take a lot of patience on the part of the counsellor/therapist. Patience is more than a virtue, it is a necessity in parenting. Stop expecting the preschooler to be more in control of his/her feelings than the average adult! Really listen and try to understand what is going on! Be patient! By being patient, often the real issue emerges! Do you think you are a patient person? What do you use to stay grounded and wait for the other person to be ready?

THE SONG BIRDS ARE A DELIGHT TO HEAR

Spring not only brings the flowers, the song birds that return to the area are a small joy. As a child I learnt to recognize many birds wherever our family would venture. The Robin has been busy building a new nest in our yard. There is a pair of cardinals with the male belting out songs on a daily basis. In the field nearby, the Red Winged Blackbird has been singning up a storm. Trying to recall the name of the woodpecker- white with black spots- pecking away on some trees on my walk. The sparrows, chickadees, blackbirds and others help the season to feel alive. Some morning doves can often be heard cooing! There is something very primal living at one with nature that finds its way to my life. It feels real and needed. The right trees and vegetation do attract the right birds. It does not take much in any urban area to make it happen. Thank heaven for the bylaws that say all developers must plant a tree in the front of every house once a subdivision is finished. Actually they could leave some of the woodlots that are there when they start! I feel the need to get out my bird book to have the right name for the right bird. When the little ones are here, it is always an opportunity to teach them about the various birds- a natural science lesson! I learnt from the adults in my life so it is my turn to pass the torch! The love of music does come in many directions- our little song birds give us daily pleasure! Do you have birds in your area that are your local joys? Can you recognize their songs? Do you have any favourites? Does your yard house a small variety? Do you have some returning ones like my pair of cardinals?

ORGANIZING FOR THE WORK WEEK

Mondays are always transition days from the weekend. To keep my mood positive, Sunday night is an opportunity to strategize what the week may entail- any special events, late meetings, need to shop for gifts and the normal week. Finishing little tasks help to bring some control in what may be ahead. I usually fold all the laundry done on the weekend- it is laundry catch up! This time of year is the challenge of changing the seasonal clothes but keeping some outfits in case the weather is chilly. So my side of the closet is organized- will be tackling Adolph's side within the week. Too cool for cottons but too warm for wooleys! Typical Canadian weather! Must be prepared for all! Some bills paid- Adolph can go to the bank with them. Not quite trusting of paying everything online yet but do have a lot that are preauthorized! I find this organizing helps me find the positive side of work life. By organizing my life and my thoughts, it is a real mental preparation despite whatever may be happening in my personal life. Does organizing the little things help you with your life? There are too many things I can not control but there are small tasks that keep me grounded. Do you have some tasks? I know people who have dogs, must walk the dogs so it helps with exercise and purpose. Is it a purpose or a drag? Do tasks help you find the positives in your life? I ironed a pile of Adolph's tops and when I saw it this morning there was a sense that something was accomplished- sounds silly but it gave me pleasure. Do you find pleasure in these normal activities of daily living?

A POSTCARD FROM THE YUKON CANADA

The Yukon is a very beautiful territory in Canada. Perhaps I will visit it one day. I found some postcards in my collection of blank cards so thought I would share them with you. If anyone has visited there, let me know what you think of this beautiful region.

The history of the Gold Rush is felt in the capital Whitehorse.

The Wildlife of Northern Canada is amazing. Watch out for the Polar Bear-you could be lunch!

If you want a postcard featured here, email me at abdm@rogers.com so I can send you my address and you can send me a postcard.

A POSTCARD FROM MAINE, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

It is fun to find more postcards in various places. In my parents' collection, I found a postcard from my niece and a close friend who visited Maine. Living in New Brunswick, it is right next door on the Eastern Seaboard.

" 24/07/82- Hi y'all: Here I am at Bangor Main. Having lots of fun & wish you were both here. Love Kathryn & Monique"

Although the card and intent was from Maine, it was actually posted in Moncton, New Brunswick with a Canadian stamp. 1982- High School?

If you want a postcard featured here, email me at abdm@rogers.com and I will send you my address so you can send me a postcard.

ALWAYS CHECK THE ELASTIC ON YOUR UNDERWEAR

While walking this morning, I remembered a funny incident my mother told me many years ago. We lived in Richmond Hill north of Toronto and my Uncle Norman and Auntie Lynn lived in the East End of Toronto. It was a hot summer day so it was common not to wear any hose under your dress. My Mom had pinned her underwear whose elastic was loose  before she started out on the hour and ahalf- two buses, subway then another TTC-Toronto Transit Commission-bus ride to my Uncle's. She had taken the Mortimer bus. Now if you take city transit anywhere, you know about the two steps to get in and out of a bus are quite steep and need a long stride. So when Mom was disembarking the final bus, her underwear snapped and fell to her ankles as she negotiated the second step. She quickly stepped out of them when she got to the ground, gave them a little kick and started walking! She did not look back to see if anyone on the bus had seen her. Of course, when she arrived at her destination, she could not stop laughing along with the family members present! So remember to check the elastic on your underwear!