DO YOU LIKE TO BE EARLY?

Arriving early at the community centre recently to wait for my daughter and young grandsons to arrive, I thought about this concept. It can be said if you are early you are anxious while if you are late than you are aggressive. It really does not fit. I am usually early as I like to be not only early for events but definitely on time. While I was waiting I was able to take in the whole scene. View the road, the stores, the parents coming and going with their children as well as reassuring my daughter I was available to her. She did not have to wait for me!! At a recent workshop downtown, I could experience the ambience of the streets-even taking some photos, find a comfortable chair in the meeting room and scan the area for the participants arriving. Rather than rushing and being frazzled, being early gives time to calm my energy and be aware if the circumstances change. Recent flights west let me be early! Find the washroom, sit near the ground agent in case of flight changes, read or just contemplate life! At any dinner/dance with an appetizer bar, allows for the best selection of food! Perhaps it is annoying to my spouse who does not like to wait! Why wait at home? But if we have somewhere to go why be late and arrive on the dot!! Being early gives flexibility for any change of plans and the ability to roll with it!! Like traffic!! How about you, do you like to be early? Do you run late for events? Do you think if you are early you are anxious? Is it just good and efficient time management?

IS VANITY A SIN?

Or just human nature? Do we care more about our looks than our health? With critical health decisions such as breast cancer, some women opt for the saving of the breast with a lumpectomy or minimal surgery rather than a full mastectomy that may save problems down the road. Not everyone thinks Angeline Jolie did the right thing-she was being preventative, chosing longevity. The new ostomy-- the bag that rests the colon and often gives life is not necessarily welcomed as a life saver. Yes critical health issues can be devastating but the surgical interventions give life! For some it is not good enough as the appearance has changed. The elderly person refusing to wear a hearing aid as it would make him/her look old!! Consider the number of very young women using botox and getting their lids done- cosmetic surgery has skyrocketed. In some cultures, a nose job is a must- heaven forbid anyone has a natural nose. Vanity- where does it come from and where does it start! So I have wrinkles and my hands look like hands of an aging person. Yes I like to dress nicely but life brings changes and one of these changes is the body! Would I be so vane to change looks over a life saving procedure? Would you? Would your life be over if you had to face such a decision? Who is really looking at you? If a man whistles at a woman, he has probably whistled at several others during the day. Your loved one should love you for more than your looks. If you are just a trophy wife or a trophy husband than it is just vanity. Has vanity caused more problems than it is worth? Can we be a little vane and still be sane? For some like I feel, vanity is put aside for other factors such as good health, feeling loved, creativity, and just the joy of having an ordinary life! However, it can be difficult to be around vane people day in and day out. Is it fair for me to label them vane? It helps as it allows me to distance myself from those qualities. I can accept the person as he/she is without needing to judge. I make the decision to feel good about myself even with gravity affecting my parts. Otherwise, I can be the wise woman- knowing aging is better than the alternative! There is still so much to do and to love in life! Vanity-an interesting word and concept! But is it a sin or just human nature- look at Helen of Troy or Cleopatra!

NANA SAYS WITH JUNE COMES THE END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR ACTIVITIES

One Mom recently commented she could not believe June was here. For a Nana it does not impact me very much, but for working parents it means the winding down of a school year. For those going to High School, the graduation and where they will go for the next school year. For the little ones leaving Kindergarten and facing Grade 1 in the Fall there can be anxiety all around. For the big ones deciding on which university or college the anxiety is heightened as there are worries about the final marks and scholarships-well you get the picture. The schools all have parties and end of year activities. The dance recitals and even a birthday or two in June can cause the most grounded parent to feel the stress. Needless to say, take it a day at a time and find some joy that there are memories to be created. I still remember the sweet "little graduation" ceremony when one of my children was graduating to Grade 1. The pictures on the front lawn in their dance outfits! Too often the focus is on the stress and not the event! Breath deeply and stop-maybe not to smell the roses but to view what is happening in front of your eyes. Of course with all the I-phones, cameras, videos and other gadgets there will be lots of pictures but really take time to take in the moment! It seems the busy-ness of little children will last forever but it does not! Do you want your children just to remember how rushed you were or do you want them to believe you enjoyed them? Make meal preparation simple or perhaps one of the activities has food involved so you can eat there. Try to make it fun! Make it meaningful! June can be the transition month to the summer. So as May winds down and June revs up- be prepared for the ride! Of course, if needed use those willing grandparents as your backup! Even an aunt or uncle or two is there when you need them!

THE IRIS BRIGHTENS THE GARDEN

As the tulips begin to lose their tops, the Iris begins its colourful show! With a variety of colours it is another welcome perennial in the flower bed. Once established, there is little work to be done. Like other flowers it does not last long enough. The green leaves give the brown spots a go! Perhaps it is time to take the camera and grab some more pictures of this beautiful example of Canadian vegetation!

LIFE FROM A DIFFERENT ANGLE

While sitting at my kitchen table near the door at a different spot where I normally sit, the view of my house and garden changed. Sometimes changing the view gives a different perspective. Imagine what the baby or toddler sees from their angle! A Triangle with its 3 points often lets us graph a problem! By seeing things from each of the points, it helps to find solutions. In a planning group, there is always someone who wants to play the "Devil's Advocate" to see the flaws! In any argument, trying to understand the opposite viewpoint is a challenge. Lawyers are good at it! Trying to see life from a different angle can make it interesting! Helps with the boredom factor! If everything stays the same all the time, well you get it! Too much change is too difficult! I do not mean grief change but little things in our daily life that we may want a different angle. A new route to work! Trying a new market! Checking out a little community! Adding a new colour to the wardrobe! In a relationship, trying to see life from the partner's perspective. Men and women understanding there are differences-trying to see the other's view of life. Men like sports and women like romance movies! Now what do you do with the points on an octagon! Lots of different angles!!

A WITCH HUNT-ONLY IN CANADA

Is anyone else tired of hearing about the Senate spending scandal and the allegations against the Mayor of Toronto? Yes politicians must be accountable for their behaviour-no questions asked. However, the relentless pursuit by the media of these two issues reminds me of the witch hunt in Salem Massachusetts in 1692. Both governments have business to do and the citizens to represent in a timely fashion. Does it take away from the economy? Does it allow for the larger issues to be addressed? I often question who really wants the answers. Whose vested interests are behind it? By the media concentrating on these two stories it almost makes me turn off the News! Are you interested in these stories?

WEEKEND- A TIME TO HANG OUT!

The nice weather attracts us to country settings and lakes and boats! Hanging out together is a favourite Canadian past time. Once the garden is planted, there is time to enjoy and maintain it! Backyard barbecues give a relaxed atmosphere. We can join the herd or spend time by ourselves contemplating life. How do you like to hang out?

LIVE LIFE TO ITS FULLEST

What does that mean? Do we have to seek adventure every day? Are we supposed to fill our lives with activities? Does taking time to smell the roses mean more? What is a full life? Does it mean different things to different people? Are there days we try to get through due to the difficult situation? Are there just times we are trying to keep our heads above water? Is just having the luxury of living and finding personal meaning a good thing? What do you think? Are you living life to its fullest?

NANA SAYS LET'S REVIEW SUMMER SAFETY

When I write my Nana Says, safety is a regular theme. The warm weather brings many considerations for it. Water- partners when swimming. Everyone even the adults wear your life jacket when boating. For little children, put them on around pools and lakes at all times. Until children can swim safely, even a fun dock can be a death trap for little ones. The street-time for those rules on how to cross safely, don't chase your ball and drivers always slow down in residential areas. A good trick is to look for little feet under a parked car. Remember children can dart in the street for no reason. Keep sun screen and bug spray handy on all occasions. Most schools and day cares insist children have a hat, sunglasses and sunscreen anyway! Try very hard not to get a sun burn!  Playgrounds can be fun but be on the watch for those vagrants that may put things in the sand that could injure someone. Be aware of potential predators! Teach your child safety around strangers! Think about the fun and how to keep it safe! Review any and all safety rules with your children-especially the teenagers too! For adults, do not drive too fast as can be the mood on those nice days! Speed does kill! Nana just wants everyone to have a good summer!

THE LONG WEEKEND OVER

Going back to work after a long weekend is always difficult. But after a week's vacation when the weather just started to be warmer is even more difficult. The good news is the days are getting longer so there is more time to be outside at night. At least until the mosquitoes come out in full force. May allows for a break from those pesky bugs! Outdoor activities bring double work to home owners. The inside work does not go away. Eating outside on the porch does eliminate some work. Let the crumbs fall so the ants can eat them! Or the squirrels and birds find them! Weekends become busier! Thus the long weekends always allow for some extra time to get the "jobs" done! How is your outdoor garden coming along? Have you mowed your grass again and again? Are you enjoying the birds chirping at 4 a.m.? Are your trips to the cottage lots of fun? Oh Spring! Love this time of year!

THE LOWLY DANDELION

Weeding a garden or lawn of pesky vegetation is a gardener's constant job. Now with the law forbidding many pesticides and other weed killers the growth along the highways is incredible. However, this field of dandelions look rather pretty, does it not? Some people make dandelion wine! Perhaps we need to find a new use for the dandelion. Unlike other weeds, no one has an allergy to it-so it is less harmful to humans!

ARE SOME THINGS WORTH THE GAMBLE?

Celine Dion had a CD about "Taking Chances". We can be told we must take some chances to experience life. But do we need to gamble. Expressions like- Life is a Crap shoot! You win some, you lose some. Know when to hold them and when to fold them can apply to more than a good poker hand. Is taking a chance the same as a gamble? Buying lottery tickets is a real gamble! So is a horse race but your chances of winning are better than a ticket. Can we up the odds! Love is a gamble! Going after a new position at work can be a huge gamble! Your current boss must give you a reference! Do you gamble at real gambling? Or do you take a chance at some things in life? What is the biggest gamble you ever took? Do you leave things to chance? Or are you more pragmatic?

A TRIP TO THE LITTLE PLAYGROUND PARKETTE

On a  babysitting Saturday night, an after dinner wagon ride to the playground near our house brought some interesting reflections. As the park is located near two large condo buildings, it was interesting to note that many of the children there were young teenagers. I guess they had no where else to go. Some older Persian women with their Timmies coffee watching the group while sitting on the picnic table. My two little grandchildren went down the slide, played on the monkey bars and the twirly ring-having some fun. 1/2 hour later it was time to go back home for baths and downtime before bedtime. Pulling the wagon, I have the knowledge of what a donkey thinks and feels!

THE VICTORIA DAY WEEKEND 2013

Long weekends are only just one day more than normal. Yet it always feels longer in the anticipation. This weekend marks the opening of the Canadian cottage or buying copious plants and flowers for the garden or taking in the latest movie release. It is still Spring yet marks the beginning of the summer season! There will be fireworks on Monday! Lots of barbecues! Now does everyone know who Victoria was and why we celebrate! With an extra day away from work, does anyone really care?

STARTING OVER

Seasons let us start over. Readying a field for a new crop. Cleaning and organizing our closet with our summer clothes. A new job! A new car! A new relationship! A new week! We start over many times in our lives without even realizing it. Each day we make a meal, clean up, do the dishes to start over at the next one! Sometimes we can feel stuck without trying to "start over"! Write that book! Take on that project! Get the camera and take photos for your flickr page! Each day, the dawn, the first cup of coffee gives us a chance to start over!

INTERSECTIONS OF LIFE

Life is often described as a journey. A road less travelled or well travelled! What happens when two roads meet? An intersection! Sometimes we continue on the same road and sometimes the intersection gives us a choice to take another road. Is the road so different if we go in another direction? North?South?East?West? Symbolically each can have a different meaning. Does one just lead us home? Does one give us an adventure? There are famous intersections and not so famous! Does standing on each corner help us to gain perspective? Does the time of day make the choice easier or more difficult? Sometimes there is a red light so we must stop! The green light allows us to go! Are you at an intersection in your life?

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY-TIME FOR REFLECTION

42 and still going strong! I am often asked what makes a marriage work. Laughter! Perseverance! Loving someone through not only the good times but the bad times and all the times in between! I don't mean staying in an abusive situation because it is healthier to leave it! But the times when life happens and tests us beyond belief! Marriage is very complex and yet very simple. To work at it- a day at a time! For me it is hard to believe that today marks 42 years of marriage to Adolph! There is so much that has happened to us! The best parts- my two beautiful daughters, my fine sons-in-law, my grandchildren-they make me laugh and just rejoice having them in my life! Some of the family that attended our wedding are still around! Going out for dinner in an over priced restaurant will remind us to enjoy! We'll even get dressed in nice clothes! I am sure you will hear about the meal on Adolph's blog- http://granpalovestocook.blogspot.com So Happy Anniversary to us and to all the couples who make it work every day! To those searching for the one to spend their life together in married bliss-don't give up hope! Remember-don't look for the perfect partner, look for someone who will be willing to travel on your journey together with you! Imperfections and all!!

NANA SAYS THE EMPTY NEST HAS MANY LEVELS OF ADJUSTMENT

We have been empty nesters for several years now. Reflecting back on the process and adjustment, it took time to accept it. Actually when the girls were in their teens, there was the realization they were changing. They were growing from girls to women before our eyes. By the time the education and the weddings occurred, we were ready to be a couple again. Yes there were times the house seemed very quiet. Our happiness came knowing the children were doing well. It is strange that with grandchildren and the duties that come with grandparenting the nest seems less empty! After chaotic dinners and all the noise, the quiet is almost welcome! The empty nest always has an open door inviting loved ones back!

TULIPS-ONLY IN CANADA-NOT REALLY HOLLAND TOO!

Tulips are everywhere. By the Library in Richmond Hill.

At the Tulip Festival held in Ottawa every year, thanks to the Dutch for their generous gift. We housed their royal family during World War Two so they have given us tulip bulbs in return.

Even in downtown Toronto, there are enclaves housing those beautiful flowers.

Doesn't a side street like Yorkville come alive with these beautiful yellow kind?

Needless to say there are many varieties growing in my garden beds right now. Oh the mighty tulip! There should be poems and songs sang about you. Do you have tulips in your garden? How many colours do you have? They are almost too divine for words!!

And of course, there are several purple ones in my garden!!

THE LANEWAY

A laneway from the street to a back parking lot or yard connects us from the street to hidden worlds.

Some views are more picturesque than others!

Close to the street but able to escape to that private world is the need of many urban dwellers! The gate lets us look but we can not enter! The inner courtyard looks pleasant with some greenery and room to be away from the crowd!

A PLACE TO THINK ON A BUSY STREET

A bench and a little parkette area are always inviting us to stop, sit, observe and think. Rest brings comtemplation! The rocks connect us to the earth. Trees and vegetation give us a gentle breeze, shade or little birds singing! If we look, we find places like this in cities and small towns everywhere! Do you have a quiet place you can go? How did you find the place? What draws you there?

CHRIS HADFIELD-A NEW CANADIAN HERO

As Chris Hadfield hands over the reigns of the Space Station to the new commander for the next few months, it has been an eventful five months listening and watching him as he circled the earth. He made Science fun for children, had a Maple Leaf shirt and even helped to introduce the new Canadian five dollar bill. We Canadians are fortunate to have heroes in our history! Chris joins that rank!

TORONTO AND FLOWER IMAGES

While attending a recent conference downtown, I was able to capture some photos on Yonge Street.

A beautiful array of flowers in an urn on a concrete sidewalk!

What are they coming into view? Larger rectangle boxes filled with nature!

The city is alive with the offerings of May flowers. Tulips and ivy-what a lovely grouping! Made the walk down Yonge come alive with city connecting with rural!

With even a tree or two! Walking allowed for looking and seeing beauty in several spots. Toronto- a city with complexity!

CANADIAN THOUGHTS AND PLANNING FOR A FUN FILLED SUMMER

May arrived with the trees budding and flowers popping up in the garden. The birds are busy singing, courting and building nests. The garden centres are busy with spring shoppers planning their "landscape masterpieces"! The long weekend-the Victoria Day weekend- is the rule of thumb about planting annuals ! The last fear of frost learned by our ancestors. There is a tradition not to wear white before that time as well! Since our warm seasons seem shorter than the long winter, plans for not only May and June but vacations in the summer months. To travel to Europe, go south, rent a cottage, go camping or a fun packed staycation. Coordinating with work colleagues about coverage and who wants what week or month. Perhaps getting the house ready for summer guests travelling from away! For busy parents-what camp-art, computer, math, physical activities, what lessons-swimming, soccer, baseball or tennis with some little ones taking golf! Painting a room, new outdoor furniture, stocking the freezer! There is always a need to plan, plan, plan! Why? The real urgency is to know what is happening so when the time arrives- the need is to relax, swim, fish, days on the boat if you have one, picnic and well-lay back and enjoy! May allows the luxury to start to research and decide what the next few months can entail. If your camp site is not booked in advance, then you could miss out! Finding the ideal cottage location or if a family has one-who goes what week can take good scheduling! Rome? Paris? London? Or a last minute- Jamaica, Mexico? A well developed garden in May and June allows for good sitting with a favourite beverage to enjoy looking at it! The hurry up and plan- go, go, go becomes the - get my favourite book or crossword with some music in the background and enjoy. Dinners on the deck!  Long walks, boat rides, car trips with no particular hurry can be the reward for all the preparation! We Canadians know how to do it right! I hear the discussion right now  happening from British Columbia to New Brunswick with some talk in Manitoba about "what do we want to do this summer"? Yes-the nice May weather gives us a chance to start to get into that mode! So how are your plans going? Do you have your travel books out? The maps or are you just a GPS user? Checking the budget? So what are your thoughts, eh?

NANA SAYS MOTHERS' DAY CAN BE SPECIAL

For young mothers, Mothers' Day is another work day. Often needing to do something for  a mother or mother-in-law gets in the way of just staying home and celebrating with the family. Receiving hand made cards and items from children is the norm. Going to over crowded restaurants with many other families may not be the most fun. Taking a step back and reflecting on why becoming a mother was so important can make the day very special. Why do you love your children? What have your children taught you about yourself? What have you learned about unconditional love? What do your children do that makes you "crazy"? What would your life be like without children? In the end it is just another day. Some people say invented by the greeting card companies to sell more cards. To all the Moms out there, have a special day! You sure deserve it!

A BREATHE OF FRESH AIR

Comes through that open window in the Spring. Do you notice when the furnace is turned off and the windows are open your home becomes fresher? There is a nice feeling when a breeze seems to blow away the winter blues and cobwebs as it goes through the house. Sunshine streaming in brings a new perspective. Sometimes it reveals lots of dust bunnies! Airing out our rooms is like airing out our lives! Closed lives and thoughts need some mental windows open.  Our homes are often such a reflection of us. Our stuff, our clutter, our priced possessions! It is good to review all that is there! Spring is that time the windows can be open before the hot weather forces us to close them for the air conditioning! Or like our minds that we may want to close again to the outside world. Are your windows open? Are you glad some new air can move through your house?

LOCAL SPRING IMAGES 2013

During my power walk, I chose to pass the Richmond Hill Library- a beautiful pink building with lots of windows. These blooming pink trees make a beautiful picture and this photographer could not resist capturing an image or two.

Do you know what kind of tree it is?

The little patio with a few benches is a quiet spot in the front yard. In the early morning it makes an ideal place to read or just think. Or to wait until the library opens. Usually I am rushing by this spot. Taking time to photograph these images helped me revisit how pretty it is. A simple local little spot! Do you have favourite local spots you like to visit?

HYACINTH-THE FRAGRANT SPRING FLOWER

The hyacinth is a wonderful flowering spring bulb to have in the garden. The colours enable the garden to become alive not only with them but the smell. The fragrance is captivating! Would even make a great perfume!

 Greek mythology tells us Apollo accidentally killed a beautiful boy named Hyacinthus with a discus. From his blood, Apollo made the flower Hyacinth to remember him forever. Sometimes poets have likened curly hair to the Hyacinth.  Ancient Persia and modern Iran honour this flower in their New Year-Nourz! As for this modern gardener, just wish it would hang around longer!

Can't you just smell it! Soothes the soul!

A POSTCARD FROM DOMINICAN REPUBLIC

Receiving postcards are always fun and not as frequent as years ago. The recent one  received was very special. It was from two of my grandchildren from a recent family vacation in the Dominican Republic.

A typical beach scene but sweet words from the children. Both signed their own names. Yes and typical postcard message-fun at the beach! If you want a postcard featured here, email me at abdm@rogers.com and I will send you my address so you can send me a postcard.

MAY-A MONTH TO BEGIN THE SUMMER SEASON

One warm day and the shorts, flip flops and tank tops are visible everywhere. 20 degrees C is not really that warm but one would not know it when seeing how people have responded. In the middle of July, it would be deemed cool! I digress! May brings all the vegetation alive. Each day the trees are budding further, tulips are popping their heads and the grass is a little greener. My favourite month, not only because my wedding anniversary occurs but it is the beginning of the stretch of outdoors and all the activities that accompany it. Meals! Walks! Day and overnight trips! Farmers' markets! Fresh, local produce will be coming our way! The promise of good times ahead! Just seeing some bushes start to flower with others close behind brings a smile! The windows are open with fresh air flowing through the house! Reviewing the pile of books for reading for the next few months! May is not just a month but can be a name for a woman! May day was celebrated throughout the world and even in some small corners of British Columbia! People just become more relaxed with the change! Be careful driving as there are really more accidents with the warmer weather! I always wish May could stay! Makes for a happier day! So what do you say?

IS IT AN ACTIVITY OR EXERCISE?

My walk to work makes me think. Often busy people will say they do a lot of exercise but is it really just lots of activities? We credit independent old people with being able to perform the normal activities of daily living-ADLS. It means toiletting, dressing, washing, eating without assistance, things like that. The normal activities! But little kids do those things too and we would not consider them independent enough to live alone without help. We all perform many normal activities every day! I consider my walks to and from work exercise! The walking and climbing stairs at work I consider an activity of the job. For me, exercise is above and beyond the normal! Some activities burn calories and do help to build muscles. When does a little gardening-an activity become exercise. When  the muscles hurt? Perhaps when one goes at it for hours instead of a few minutes. Vacuuming is strenuous but is it exercise! My weight routine three times a week is exercise but is lifting a laundry basket, digging in the garden or dusting high places an activity or exercise. Dancing is a fun activity but it really is good exercise too! We are now being told that exercise will help with many areas of our lives- heart, reduce cholesterol, might help fend off Alzheimer's but is just lots of activities throughout the day equally as good? Keeping busy creatively, moving our bodies, getting off the couch could lead to more exercise! Does the heart rate need to increase to call it an exercise? Do we need to sweat? Do active people really do more exercise than inactive people? What is an active person? Some jobs take more activity throughout the day. A house painter performs an activity but is he really getting some good exercise? A teacher stands at the front of the classroom or bends over the student's desk, so what would we call it? A nurse may go up and down a hallway all day-so activity or exercise or just part of the job. Do feet have to ache to call it exercise? Or is it just not wearing proper footwear the culprit?  When can anyone brag that they do a lot of exercise? When one is busy? Normal activities will burn calories and build muscles. Not doing those activities can lead to muscle atrophy! People say they are always on the run! It does not make them a runner who could qualify for a marathon! So what do you think- activity or exercise? How do you fill your days?

NANA SAYS IT TAKES TIME TO SUPPORT THE GRANDCHILDREN

Families keep us busy. The children grow up and there is time to return to adult activities. When the grandchildren come along, one either agrees to be part of their lives or continue to be busy otherwise. While driving for 1/2 hour to go to see our granddaughter dance in one of her dance competitions last weekend, it became apparent that there is an effort needed to be made. She wanted us to see her. It meant something to her. A quick picture with grandpa outside the venue and the drive home. Adolph even mentioned he missed one morning of gardening. Children grow up so quickly. Grandchildren even faster. A reminder that we as grandparents are important in their lives, knowing there will come a day that they will prefer to be with their friends and we will be just some old people boring to be around! Or will we be? Making an effort and actually enjoying the time with the children establishes a relationship. In my work at the hospital, I have had the honour of meeting many families including grandchildren that are there supporting their elderly family member. When one of those people passes away, there is real genuine grief at the loss. Life as we know it can be a circle! Like most things in life there is effort and work! Little ones are demanding, noisy and often even annoying but I would not have it any other way! Just glad they are in these grandparents' lives!