NANA SAYS-WHOSE COUNSEL-OLD MOM/NEWMOM?

A couple of weeks ago before some weekly rounds, one of the peds nurses had a new Mom who was not understanding the nature of a newborn. She stated " I always tell new Moms to talk to their friends not older Moms because they are more current!" What does that mean? I thought about my answer and gently said- it is like riding a bike. Babies have not changed-they eat, they sleep, they poop and need love. Some breast feed well, others do not and some breast and bottle! Yes, I think it is good to have other new Moms and Dads around you. However, your new Mom friend with a baby a couple of months older usually gets in a comparison contest. If you say the baby is not sleeping, she will usually say either her baby slept through the night at 2 days or complain louder. If you say it is hard to breastfeed, she may say it is so easy, I had no problems.  Other new Moms are not as wise, experienced and more giving than the older Moms. And the older Dads! Babies cry, get fussy and it is good to have other generations available to rock, cuddle and well- give the new Mom and Dad a break! And can say this stage will pass! Another scenario- baby shower for a niece. Another new Mom of a six month old was acting all experienced and wise telling the Mom to be- go to your friends for advice, they know! I surveyed the room and calculated the years of experience in the room. Some women had two grown children, some three, some four as well as grandchildren! We all looked at each other and very patiently listened to the" wisdom of the Mom". I do not know what they were thinking- I was thinking just wait for the twos, threes, preteen, teenage years etc. Older Moms are kinder and patient- we were new Moms once! To negate the Wise Woman is to negate yourself as a parent. If you pick up a book on the phases and stages of children, nothing has changed nor will it regardless of the gadgets and high tech children can have. Like I said babies have not changed! A new baby smiles on average at the same time as other babies! Rolls over! Sits! Knows the sound of your voice! There are norms and ranges of development. Most children are toilet trained by Junior Kindergarten or sooner! It is important to believe your baby is special and larger than life! Helps with the emotional development! Trust! Sense of Self! I find I listen more and give little advice as I find my way with the grandchildren and their little personalities! What do they need in the moment! I am more patient with new Moms and Dads as they struggle with parenthood! I guess Grandparents have not changed much either. Our patience helps to conserve the much needed energy to help with the grandchildren!