NANA SAYS AVOID THE POWER STRUGGLE

It is so easy to be caught in a power struggle with little children. Argumentative adults are always looking to win a discussion, an argument or to emphaize their opinion as the right one. With children, there is an automatic power imbalance- parent/child. We need to love, discipline, and keep our children safe. When the baby becomes the toddler, then the preschooler, the room for power struggles increases. Discipline is not punishment- it is setting limits, rules and offering a consistent, safe enviroment for our children with love and compassion. Even a young child has the need to be right or to do what he/she wants to do. Bribing and threatening are not the best strategies. Children do play together well sometimes. But separating two fighting children works rather than " you must share and get along." With a little distance, they often group against the adult anyway and decide to play together. Redirection is one of my favourite strategies. Focussing on something else other than the yelling, the messing or whatever is undesirable behaviour. With my grandson, look there's a squirrel outside! When asking a child to clean up and the answer is no, I use I will wait and when you are ready! As we know waiting can be whatever time it takes. If a grandchild yells or tries to hit me, I simply say- I am not yelling at you so please do not yell at me. Children do try our patience- a lot! We are the adults so must find ways to be tolerable. As we all know movie time or better yet nap time is a great relief! What are your thoughts on power struggles? Do you have strategies in avoiding them?