You take yourself with you. This is one of my statements I give to anyone looking at change. Change your job-take yourself. Leave your marriage-take yourself. Lose a friend-take yourself. Move away to a new city, new province, new country- yes you take yourself. New does not make better. If you leave something because the situation does not suit you, well you take yourself with you. Yes there are abusive situations worth leaving and are better for you. Must be done. But if you think a change will make everything better, look at yourself first, are you changing? It is tough to hear the pain of others when someone leaves and they bear the brunt! Hello, it was not about you, it was about the other person. Maybe, you are just fine. Not perfect, but just fine! I remember when I managed a program, one worker was so unhappy with the job. Everything was terrible about the job. When she left, her dreams would be met! You know what I told her. Remember, wherever you go, you take yourself with you! Change is good and necessary often. We need to apply for a new position because we need to grow in our job. We need to downsize because the children have moved out. We need to try new things, adventures, travel to new places. But we are the same old US! Too often we can blame the people we knew as the reasons we are not happy- blame your parents, blame your siblings, blame your friends- stop blaming and look at yourself and you change you. If you have been the victim of someone's else's unhappiness- shake it off! If you were not abusive but did not meet the needs of that person, say WHATEVER! Wherever you go, you take yourself with you! Thank you very much, I am just fine and when I want, I will look at changing me not because you were unhappy! Simple but too often we blame ourselves for someone's else's unhappiness- remember you are about you. Yes, people can outgrow or stop loving us but it does not mean we are not worth loving and being loved! Have you been in a situation where you were blamed for someone's unhappiness? How did you handle it? Can you feel confident now to say, I understand what you are saying, but remember wherever you go you take yourself with you?
Whatever! Seriously, though, whenever someone leaves a job or someone else, there is some blame attached to each of the two. Maybe, more to one than the other, but still, to both. I feel sorry for the one leaving. Yes, they still have to face themselves in the morning in the mirror. They will still have to continue to search for their happiness. And, they run the risk of never finding it. The one left may go through a tough period but end up in a happier place.
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