PUSHING THROUGH THE NEGATIVE ENERGY

What of the most difficulties in life is trying to stay focused when those around you are full of negative energy and thoughts. Caring about a person or situation then confronted with the toxicity that can exist. Finding personal and professional space away from it takes skill and strategies. Unfortunately in many work situations there are joint decisions and joint work spaces that can make it tiring. Lunch breaks away from everyone gives some space. Another strategy is put the client as the focus. What does the client need, not your needs? Not judging or personalizing the problems can give the clinical perspective more depth. Listening to every one's perspective is okay but those whose scope of practise do not need to be in the mix then they should not. For example, at a program meeting when we are asked to vote on the post op orders, I sustain as it is medical for the nurse and doctor involved. If I found a typo, okay then say something. It is not my area of expertise so I leave it to those who have devised the information. What do I know about nursing procedures or what pain medication to use!  Do I expect the same courtesy in my work? Yes! Strong teams can have differing opinions but the various disciplines are stand alone and need to be respected.

NANA SAYS DISCIPLINE IS NEEDED IN CHILD REARING

Spare the rod and spoil the child is Biblical. Often the rod is mistaken for the right to use force in disciplining a child. For me the rod simply means discipline. Children needs boundaries and guidance provided with encouragement and love. Discipline is not negative. A home with security and room to be a person- especially a little person- who needs the chance to experiment is essential to emotional development. Each flower in the garden needs a similar approach but knowledge about its uniqueness allows the flower to reach its full potential. Providing positive discipline that does include saying no when needed and yes when needed helps our children grow. Parents need to be disciplined too. Setting a good example in our language and behaviour demonstrates how living well can be accomplished. Remember a child can not be spoiled by too much love.

NANA SAYS ENCOURAGEMENT IS THE BEST FORM OF DISCIPLINE

Children need discipline but even more encouragement and praise. Nurturing the positive attributes may take incredible patience of parents and adults around children. The little ones can push your buttons so easily. Fighting and angry screaming do take the patience of Job!! Being able to work past the down times and see the good and the sweetness of your children is what parenting entails. Teenagers are a huge challenge. Aong with finding their way in the world, there is a constant push against authority- the first ones being the parents! Setting boundaries and including children in decision making puts some ownership back to the person! Helping to make good choices and taking responsibility for the consequences. " You can drive the family car but if you get a ticket, you will not be using the car again!" is one example. If a little one writes on the wall, giving cleaning products to scrub the marks off will teach about the work involved in cleanup. Take your time and really look at a piece of art, for example. Ask about the colours and what the picture means rather than oh it looks good  without much attention. Yes the fridge, a bulletin board, a wall can become inundated with those little treasures but believe the time will pass so quickly that those children will no longer create nor want you to see their work. Listen to how your children talk! Do you ever hear your negative voice in their conversation? Do you want to hear a positive voice and comments? Your use of words that encourage and discipline do come back to haunt you! Many modern parents-not much different than parents of many generations- often will say- OMG I sound like my mother! So what you say and what you script can become messages in your children's heads! Discipline that is more encouragement helps those messages to stay positive.  

DISCIPLINE-A DIFFICULT HABIT

Discipline comes in many forms. Sometimes it is just the daily routines we set for ourselves that keep us going forward. Our job expectations make us do the work that needs to be done. So when does personal discipline become a virtue. The urge to procrastinate or just avoid tasks that are unpleasant comes into our consciousness. "I'll do that later!" " I don't feel like doing it now!" " I would rather take a nap!" My discipline is trying to write something on this blog every day. It is supposed to be one of those blogger rules. Like the Nike ad- Just do It! Other areas of my life like my work-do at least two new Social Work assessments every day take discipline. See the ongoing cases. Try to be nice to my colleagues! Being available for the grandchildren. Have patience with the grandchildren! Discipline gives us boundaries in our lives. Being a free spirit does not-more fun though! Discipline is actually boring. But boring does keep us on track! Many parts of our daily routines, let's face it are boring! Disciplined people work at being disciplined. Yes we probably are boring! So do you have discipline in your life? Do you care? Discipline allows me to try to stay grounded and not over react to everything. I am working on those areas where over reaction does occur! How about you? Give me your thoughts!

NANA SAYS THE PROBLEM IS THE PROBLEM

Not the child. In my work, I like to use some of the concepts of Narrative Therapy. Making the problem the problem and not the child, the self-esteem of your child can be maintained. Approaching concerns with your children, your family, your relationship can be more positive if this simple approach is used. We all do many things well-even the child you are trying to discipline. For example, if your teen is coming home after curfew, coming home late is the problem. Your teen has not become a bad person. Sitting and picking apart the problem allows for the child to help with identifying the problem, analysing it and looking towards a solution. Another example, a mess after a play time. The problem- the mess. How is everyone going to help with solving the mess? In our work we are asked to solve problems. Rarely would we head straight for a solution without identifying the problem. Use it in child rearing! Remember to concentrate on the good areas of your life! Letting your child become part of the "team" in helping to solve the "problem" changes the focus, doesn't it!

DID YOU MISS YOUR FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME?

We are told everyone gets at least 15 minutes of fame. A special birthday, the lead role in the school play, an award at work, an article published that become routine in our lives. But what if that was it? Your 15 minutes! I often wonder what was mine! Did I relish it? Or did I miss it? I had a great readership going from another country on my blog for about 6 weeks. Really helped with my Stats! Then it's back to 1 or 2 reads from that country now weekly! So a light bulb goes off- was that my 15 minutes on my blog? Or like the famous line in the song- " you don't know what you've got til it's gone!" Some of us are lucky and have the odd 15 minutes periodically. We work hard and try new things to determine what road the effort will take. So is it luck that gives us the 15 minutes or hard work or a combination of both? Do we will really want fame or just some recognition to help our egos? Do some people get too much for doing too little? Have you had your 15 minutes? Do you even remember it? Or do you just keep plugging away and really do not care about fame? Or perhaps you really do not care? Well I think it took me 15 minutes to write this post! Hope someone reads it or maybe not. It is fun and discipline that keeps me going! Fame is greatly over rated anyway!

HEARING AND LISTENING-ONE ASPECT OF MINDFULNESS

While walking today, I decided to hear all the sounds and noises in my environment. The song birds singing. The traffic noises with cars speeding and a truck making a loud sound. The red eye plane from the west heading to Pearson Airport made a welcoming noise in the early morning sky. The honking of a Canada Goose that made me divert my walk from the stairs to walking through the parking lot at the Richmond Hill Library. The geese are known to chase people so I was really not in the mood to be chased. My feet making noises as I pounded the pavement. The wind rustling through the trees. Being attentive to the surroundings let ideas and thoughts prevail. The main reason I do not plug into a walkman or I pad or whatever else as they  drown out the world. Listening to the world! One aspect of mindfulness that allows the senses to expand. As we try to find excitement in our life, it can be the small moments that bring some meaning. Hearing and listening to the world, to others, to ourselves- takes concentration and discipline! How mindful are you in your environment? Do you hear and really listen? Or do you try to block out others and the sounds around you?

THERE FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I !

When discussing a case with a nurse from another country, he was concerned about the unfortunate details. He expressed how can people live like that? I stated, in English we have this saying- there for the Grace of God do I! It is 1 saying that says so much. Did God give us the right parents at the right time? Perhaps, but even children from very dysfunctional families have made their way and have positive adult experiences. Did God give us the intelligence and the discipline to study and work on a good education? Perhaps! Did he just direct us in the right direction- to make choices and not use any circumstance we have lived as an excuse to waste our life? If we reflect on situations in our lives and the choices made- no to drugs, social drinking and not problem drinking, exercise, patience, learning positive ways to deal with conflict, healthy eating, and the list could go on! Were all the choices ours? Or was there some little inner voice that guided us? I question why some people that used fraud, stole money from others, and still have very dishonest business practices end up with the bigger houses, more expensive cars, travel and a life style that the average person will never have! Not all good things come to good people! History tells us the story over and over! Do we make honest choices that lead us to a good life but not necessarily a monetary successful life? Perhaps! Then the whole concept of success would be fodder for another post! Did God bless me with a life worth living? You bet!

SPARE THE ROD, SPOIL THE CHILD

Many people have thought this biblical quotation means spanking or hitting your child is okay. I have always believed the rod means discipline. Children need guidance, routines, structure, boundaries and love-which helps them to grow emotionally. The discipline in a home does not have to be strict. Being able to say no when necessary, yes when necessary and to bend the rules sometimes like special occasions allows a child to know he/she is safe. There are many strategies as we all know to keeping order in a home. Children fall into their own routines at a young age. Their sleeping and eating patterns get established individually. Every parent knows when their little one needs to eat or sleep. Bedtime rituals like the bath, the reading of the book while cuddling on the bed gives a strong sense of comfort not just to the child but the adult. When my children no longer wanted storytime, the realization a new phase in their life had started was met with some sadness. Do you have thoughts about discipline? Do you try not to spank? Trying to be patient and not yell takes some much discipline. Do you have it? What are your thoughts?