NANA SAYS SPRING BRINGS THOSE COLLEGE AND UNIVERSITY STUDENTS HOME

As College and University wind down with final papers and exams, the return of students to parental homes begins. So does the reverse transition of adjusting to a full household. Often the dynamics in the home change with one person away. Siblings that fight alot are separate from each other so the truce of a quieter home becomes peaceful. With the return, one might expect a new maturity on the part of the returning student but often the opposite can occur. If the child partied while away, staying out late or bringing gangs of friends home can disrupt the household. An expectation that chores  or laundry will be done by that young one can be erroneous. The pressure of a summer job and maybe needing to use the family car are further readjustments. There is a certain relief, however,  to have everyone home. The travel back and forth to the university destination does wear on the family system. Since the child has become more of an adult, then an adult conversation can occur. The new rules of the home considering the new responsibilities of everyone. The sibling that had full use of the bathroom can resent the returning one messing up that area. Encouraging positive discussion so the home does not become a battleground. I remember the first year my daughter came home for the summer. All her things were neatly put away but needing to be hauled out for the return in the Fall-work!! So by the middle years, her boxes of stuff sat in the living room all summer waiting to be loaded in the Fall to whatever vehicle was transporting it. It was an interesting time of coming and going. I did not like it. I missed her. It was a part of a rite of passage for her. Discussions with other parents revealed mixed feelings and experiences. Some parents loved having the children away. Others felt the home to be empty. As a good parent,  an university or college experience would never have beeen denied to my children and if I am lucky perhaps I can help support my grandchildren in their endeavors too. Spring does bring those little birdies back to the nest-crowded as it can be!!