FRIDAY HEARTACHE

Calgary, Nice and other places bring sad stories today. A little girl, a crowd of holiday participants from 2 different parts of the world. Compassion and care comes from the hearts of many of us. Feeling for others' pain as we go on our daily journey of life. What can be done? Talk to the leaders of countries. Be vigilant in your daily life but not to the point of total fear. But most of all hug your loved ones and make each day count! Send a prayer to Calagary and to Nice! Then pray for all of us!

TO BE NICE OR NOT TO BE NICE-A CANADIAN QUESTION

Choosing how to live is a choice not a personality trait genetically programmed at birth! The English word nice has several meanings- pleasant, agreeable, satisfactory, good- natured, requiring careful thought or attention, and delicately sensitive. ( Thank you Oxford English Dictionary) Yes, one's family can have an influence on all of us. Some very happy nice people have miserable family members, I get it. How we approach the world can be ours alone! When we act nice something begins to happen. So what is nice? What does it means to you? Watching what we say and curbing our words to reflect more positive thoughts actually takes a lot more effort than just being bitchy and saying hurtful things. Being thoughtful to others. Saying honest compliments. Acting like a nice person to be around. For example, there are days when I arrive at work, I am tired, wishing it was the weekend but I put on my game face- my nice face and act like I want to be there. Greeting others nicely. Of course there are times to be assertive and challenge ideas but in a nice way. Not nasty. You see I made a choice many years ago to try to be as nice as I could most of the time. I looked at the miserable people of the world deciding that was not for me. However just because I am nice does not mean I trust everyone and think their motives are always honourable. Being nice does not mean one is stupid! Being nice does not mean my thoughts are always nice! But I keep them to myself or share with trusted friends or family members! I believe I was nice in my childhood and youth to be liked and win others' approval. Not anymore when I choose to be nice, I think it was in my early 20s- it was because I wanted to live my life loving myself and those around me. It is hard when I have to confront someone or even yelling at my children when they were little and now sometimes my grandchildren-especially if they want to venture into an activity that could harm them. So I ask the question, do some people just choose to be miserable and think it is okay! Me first, who cares about the world! Even those with Mental Health issues who struggle daily can have varied personalities. For example, I have known some with clinical depression who are nice and try so hard to face the day's events! Canadians generally are supposed to be nice. So perhaps I wanted to be one to help carry the torch and wave the flag of niceness! For the sake of the country! I have known so many nice people in my life- teachers, friends, work mates, family, neighbours and even nice kind strangers that saved the day! So to be nice or not to nice that is the question? If you read my blog regularly, I know what your answer will be don't I!!!!

EVERYONE IS UNIQUE

People always amaze me. Same colour, same country, same religion. Yet, there can be differences which make the individuals unique. Siblings from the same family can develop different views of the world as they leave the family nest. There are always common threads of good or bad. Compassionate or cold! If you were to describe yourself what would you say was unique? How do you stand out from the crowd? I think I am unique because people still tell me how nice I am! I actually was a lot nicer in my youth but got stepped on! So I am nice with an ability now to have people back off if they bug me in " a nice way". Always be nice and friendly but with a self-assurance if I am not being mean than I do not expect anyone to be mean to me or anyone else for that matter. Do you like the people that say I always like to say what is on my mind whether someone likes it or not! " I am always so open minded!" Yes, but the good answer is not to be too open minded or your brains will fall out! Tolerating, accepting differences takes effort and the ability to sit back and truly listen. Then if part of your uniqueness is to love your own company- there are those solitary activities that bring joy! Or have a pet-they always love you!

KINDNESS

Sometimes I like to revisit articles, poems, ideas I wrote years ago. Here is a poem I wrote March 17, 1994.
Go out of your way to be kind.
Why kind?
To make the world a better place.
To make my world a better place.
Does it give meanig in a manner that nothing else replaces.
Kindness, thoughtfulness-meaning, a way of life.
Purposeful, meaningful, just plain nice.
Can my epitaph read-just plain nice!
What's wrong with being nice?
Why does it raise contempt in others, why does it hurt to be nice?
Why do nice guys finish last or do they?
Perhaps they just stand aside to let others pass because the need to be number one is not paramount in their lives.
It's nice to let others go first, it's nice to bring joy to others.
It brings joy to oneself.
So do we finish last, if the last smile is ours.
Kind, it's okay to be kind.

MANNERS KEEP US CIVILIZED

Canadians have been known to be a very polite people. There are moments when we can encounter impolite ones though. Our children are taught from the cradle to say please and thank you, to wait your turn. In our modern world with all its impatience it is easy to forget one's manners. Everyone is in a hurry- so leave earlier for what you need to do! Waiting- that has become a dirty word. Remember the days when you had to go to the bank at noon on your lunch break or Friday when the bank stayed open until 6- yes you waited in a long line. If you go to the bank today and they are two people ahead of you- the huffing and puffing that goes on. Today we have choices with online banking, ATMs, longer hours and even Saturday banking. I have lots of patience. If someone else was first then I can wait. If there is a traffic jam, I can wait. If the light is red, I can wait. When I chose to do a big shop and have waited in my line and have someone with the one item, I usually let that person go ahead of me as I am loading the counter. Honestly- so I do not have to have huffing and puffing behind me. Recently, I let someone go ahead who had to mention she was in a hurry as she had a long drive- there was no consideration of my day. Since I have manners I did not mention- yes I am a busy full-time working Nana with a busy schedule and needed to get home to babysit the grandkiddies after awakening at 6 a.m. to change the bed, do two loads of laundry- well you get the picture!!! Manners do let us be civilized and not get into power struggles with others. Sincere appreciation- with a Thank you so much!! Thanking those in our lives for the little things that are done. Can you please print those labels! Excuse me when you walk between some one! Do you mind if I pass by you! So much nicer and makes a nicer world. I have been criticized for being too polite in my lifetime! However, manners do keep us in check when there are times we really want to tell someone to.... - well you know those choice expressions. Would you describe yourself as someone with good manners? Does it make you feel good to respect others? Do you have trouble waiting?