Depending on the age of the child and their level of understanding, parents can keep children aware of family difficulties or illness. Letting children know helps them to develop ways to cope with difficulties. They need to understand people can be mad, sad, glad, concerned. Letting a child witness some adult tears or concerns in a positive way let's them be part of the solution. Often children say they will give you a hug to feel better. How many times does an adult hug a child or kiss a boobo?? Letting children know saves the fear of what they do not know.
For example, if there has been a family member with a heart attack. Saying everything will be okay when you do not know if it will be okay is deceptive. If you do not know let the child know you do not know if the loved one will be okay. It is better to say everyone is hoping it will be okay. Let's pray if you are religious. Answering the child's questions honestly. Explaining what a heart attack entails. Why someone needs to be in the hospital? Keeping the child informed as much as possible.
Too often adults want to protect the child. But what will the child feel and think if the outcome turns out to be bad and you did not share honest information.
Another important activity is to let the child see the person who is unwell. The child can judge for him or herself. The child can ask the person questions directly. If the child has a close relationship with the person, it may be important for the child to see that person, even if it is for a short time. Children can bring a special treat for the person, draw a picture and mostly give a loving hug. The sick person needs all the love. Let your child know he/she is part of the treatment team.
Nana says let the child be part of the family situation.
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