THE PERFECTIONIST-ANXIETY AT ITS BEST

The Perfectionist is a personality with a major anxiety component. People who brag about wanting everything perfect or expect perfection actually mask their anxiety and major insecurities. Celebrities that expect the right temperature of orange juice on a movie set for example stand out like a sore thumb. Two ice cubes but not three! Parents that badger their children with perfection can retard development as the child feels they are not good enough for "Mommy" or "Daddy" so often just stop trying. So where does this need come from in the person's development. Perfectionistic people actually can delay getting things done. It can border on procrastination as the finished product will never be good enough. How does it differ from doing a job well? The teacher needs to have a curriculum and keep on track. The social worker needs to prioritize the cases from urgent to serious. The nurse needs to check the meds with a fellow nurse and provide good bedside care. The bus driver needs to follow the rules of the road and keep passenger safety paramount. The airline pilot must fly the plane correctly, know emergency procedures and keep in constant contact with air traffic. Not perfectionistic but good work standards and abilities! If one works around the perfectionist, then everything gets questioned! Very annoying! The perfectionist boss always needs to find something wrong- you did not dot the "i" on this letter! So as an employee, I have always left a "i" undotted to alleviate some of the person's anxiety to find something "wrong". A job can be done well within the profession's work standards with individual aspects. But comparing the duties of one profession with another can be another habit of the perfectionist! Always comparing! The bottom line to the individual is "I do it better because I do it perfectly and you do not!" Recognizing this trait in others around you can make it easier to live and work with a perfectionist! Don't get in a "pissing" contest! That person needs to win constantly! Like the dog that gets a bone and has to chew on it! Remember it is the person's anxiety issues and not yours! If you recognize you are a perfectionist, try to back off and realize that you may be annoying those around you with your constant need to point out life's imperfections! Are you a perfectionist? Do you have perfectionistic people in your family, work and life? What are your strategies in dealing with those people? Do you find yourself not wanting to discuss anything with that person?