HOSTING THE PERFECT EVENT OR NOT- PERFECTIONISM HURTS

I read today about hosting the perfect family get together. I read before Christmas about having the perfect Christmas tree. The word perfect prevails in design magazines. Fashion magazines. So what is perfect? And does it really matter??
Perfectionism is part of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. However in modern magazines, websites and stylist we need to be perfect, dress perfectly, and well be perfect.
Being perfect is a high standard to maintain.  No one is really perfect. Even if we think we do things perfectly someone always points out the little flaw and often with contempt.
Being organized and doing things well brings contempt. Others who can not achieve your standard like to see failure. Humans can be a jealous bunch!
So much for perfectionism. Let it go to grow.
What if instead of the perfect party or Christmas tree or house, why not a comfortable, a happy place, what works for you.
Yes everything including yourself can be well designed but taking the pressure of perfect away gives room for more fun and well being.
So I am hosting a bday dinner for family for my hubby. It will not be perfect. With a variety of age ranges of the children there will be noise and someone not liking some of the food and well this is boring I want to go home!!
In its own way it will be perfect to me. Why? Well we are together as family. There will be those family pictures with all the funny faces we all make. Another chance to celebrate together.
One person's definition of perfect can be different than another's. I like the idea of imperfection.
#perfectionism#reflectivethoughsbybarbara#hostingafamilyevent#perfectlivingdoesitexist#hostingfamilyeventscanbefun#lettingperfectionismgo

THE PERFECTIONIST-ANXIETY AT ITS BEST

The Perfectionist is a personality with a major anxiety component. People who brag about wanting everything perfect or expect perfection actually mask their anxiety and major insecurities. Celebrities that expect the right temperature of orange juice on a movie set for example stand out like a sore thumb. Two ice cubes but not three! Parents that badger their children with perfection can retard development as the child feels they are not good enough for "Mommy" or "Daddy" so often just stop trying. So where does this need come from in the person's development. Perfectionistic people actually can delay getting things done. It can border on procrastination as the finished product will never be good enough. How does it differ from doing a job well? The teacher needs to have a curriculum and keep on track. The social worker needs to prioritize the cases from urgent to serious. The nurse needs to check the meds with a fellow nurse and provide good bedside care. The bus driver needs to follow the rules of the road and keep passenger safety paramount. The airline pilot must fly the plane correctly, know emergency procedures and keep in constant contact with air traffic. Not perfectionistic but good work standards and abilities! If one works around the perfectionist, then everything gets questioned! Very annoying! The perfectionist boss always needs to find something wrong- you did not dot the "i" on this letter! So as an employee, I have always left a "i" undotted to alleviate some of the person's anxiety to find something "wrong". A job can be done well within the profession's work standards with individual aspects. But comparing the duties of one profession with another can be another habit of the perfectionist! Always comparing! The bottom line to the individual is "I do it better because I do it perfectly and you do not!" Recognizing this trait in others around you can make it easier to live and work with a perfectionist! Don't get in a "pissing" contest! That person needs to win constantly! Like the dog that gets a bone and has to chew on it! Remember it is the person's anxiety issues and not yours! If you recognize you are a perfectionist, try to back off and realize that you may be annoying those around you with your constant need to point out life's imperfections! Are you a perfectionist? Do you have perfectionistic people in your family, work and life? What are your strategies in dealing with those people? Do you find yourself not wanting to discuss anything with that person?   

PERFECTIONISM

Is an aspect of an anxiety disorder. Too often people brag- I'm a perfectionist! Everything has to be perfect. Well life is not perfect so get over it. Perfectionistic bosses, spouses, friends fret over the smallest, silliest details. It is good to plan, be safety minded and to double check. However, get going. For example, when I write, I throw the thoughts, the words on paper. Easier to amend, draft, correct an idea then to fret about writing the perfect paragraph. Perfectionism can be an excuse to keep a project unfinished! Let go to grow! Yes there can be little flaws in many things we do. Children can not achieve with parents who expect perfect outcomes. A five year old makes a lumpy bed but leave it lumpy. Over time the child will learn. Each task can have layers. It takes me 4 hours to vacuum my house top to bottom. Do I want to spend that time every time I pull out my vacuum cleaner-NO! So can I do a quick vacuum, a thorough room vacuum, one floor vacuum and then once in a blue moon the whole house at one go or find the resources to hire a cleaning lady! My house can not be perfect, not now, not ever. Real people live here! Am I a tidy person- yes! But not obsessed with perfect tidiness! Perfectionism is self limiting! Are you a perfectionist? Are you around perfectionistic people? There is help to work on this disorder. Perfectionism can be turned into normal organizational habits.