DOES ADVERSITY REALLY MAKE YOU STRONG?

So does adversity really make you strong?

The old adage. If God brought you to it, then you can get through it?

But through it at what cost??

Yes people suffer adversity. But it does change people.

Not everyone comes out the other end better.

In the middle of dealing with adversity, often the advice given is to stay strong!! Advice by others not dealing with it. Easy to say but not easy to do.

What is strong anyway? Doing what needs to be done in adversity often is the only choice! Not strong just carrying on!!

Adversity can bring grief, anger, sadness, hopelessness, helplessness and maybe strength!! Sometimes hope for the better.

What would be the best advice?

Self- care. Eat well. Exercise. Get as much good support from family, friends and professionals.

Accept help in the home for loved ones. Hard to have privacy invaded but help is help.

Know who to trust. Not everyone will respect your privacy and any thoughts shared.

In reflection of your life, do you look back at times you coped and survived!! What worked for you?
What lessons did you learn?? Did those times change you? Was it for the better or did it make you jaded?

There can be adversity overload. Dealing with 10 things and the 11th was what pushed you over the edge!!

Yes do not be too judgmental of someone dealing with adversity!! In my Social Work career, I often would encounter patients and families who received all kinds of brutal suggestions for their situation. Much of my role was deflecting those statements for them and helping to find better coping strategies along with good emotional support from positive trusted people in their lives.

Adversity finds everyone sometime. So if judging someone, keep in mind your turn may come. If it doesn't lucky you!!
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GETTING THROUGH ADVERSITY

The old phrase one day at a time is so relevant when faced with life's crisises. Sometimes being in the trenches blocks the light. It can seem dark and hopeless.
Then just get through the day. Promise yourself you can do it. One more day.
Get up the next morning with optimism you can make it. Put two feet on the floor then take one step at a time.The day will give what it will give.
Be prepared to do what can be done. Try not to focus on the negative. Okay to feel sad or mad. But then just continue to fight and do what you can.
Everyone faces adversity from time to time. Just remember other times where you have coped and survived.
#adverstiy#onedayatatime#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro#beoptimistic#focusonthepostive#takeonestepatatime#adayatatime

HOPE FOR THE BEST! PREPARE FOR THE WORST!

Adversity can bring false hope. Praying for a miracle does not cut it for some people. To get as well as you can is the realistic mantra. Having several plans in place. Worst case scenario- what needs to be done. Second worse- how to cope and how to get by. Things are better but still support and planning. Almost back to normal but what needs to change. Having realistic plans and ideas has always helped me in situations. Knowing if something is doable. Then what needs to be done. What can be done alone and what help may be needed. As humans it is okay to hope for the best especially when we love someone or something. Preparing for the worst keeps us grounded and well realistic.
#knowingwhentohopeforthebestandreparefortheworst#hope#adversity#havingplansinplace#realisticmantra#life'schallenges

LOVE OF FAMILY DURING ADVERSITY

Knowing when to hold them and when to fold them was in a Kenny Rogers song I always loved. The Gambler! When dealing with adversity, it stands true. When to reach out to family and friends and when to go it alone. It is always a lonely journey but knowing there are people at your back means the world. As a Social Worker, I have always advised people to gather those in their lives that can be their support team. Using email, texting, phone calls and personal visits give lots of support as sometimes we do not know what we need. Letting people in your life give back. Always be the rock and the strength, it can be hard for some people to take the support. But take the support. Let everyone from the little grandchildren with a good hug to sharing hospital visits to food offerings and just a good listening ear gives the care and love needed in difficult times. Love of family- there when it is needed.

#family#support#reachingouttopeoplethatloveus#KennyRogers#adversitysucks#lettingpeoplehelpusthroughthetoughtimes#socialworkergivesadviseonhowtogetsupport#emailtextingphonecallshospitalvisits#foodintoughtimes#lonelyjourneydealingwithasickperson#love

OVERCOMING ADVERSITY

Adversity- according to the dictionary- the condition of adverse fortune. Misfortune. Sounds so trite doesn't it? But anyone who faces misfortune of any nature will tell the world it is not trite. Depending on the misfortune, there may not be much support from anyone. You didn't get the job, try for another one. Suck it up! Be a man! Be a woman! Get over it! Do we need support to move on? Probably. At least to have the event acknowledged! Large events like the death of a loved one gets immediate attention but over time if the person grieving is not healing the support wanes. A lost job and trying to find a new one wanes too. Immediate support of others helping to network goes away.It is too hard to be around the down behaviour and mood, so people move away from the sufferomg person. Offering counselling services, groups or intensive therapy do help some people. Support with others going through the same circumstance. The fact is clear that sometimes people do not come back. Their lives changed forever. The messages or movie playing in the head will not go away. for example, if the love lost was the love of one's life, a choice may be made to stop really living. Getting stuck in one's misfortune often leads to bad choices- drinking too much, drugs, overeating. Even prescription drugs can become a crutch. Situational depression can become clinical depression. Why do some people bounce back or just work really hard at moving forward? Why do some people become stuck? Is it in the gene pool? If advesity has not come your way, it is very difficult to understand the journey of another! One strategy is to get up every morning and put one foot in front of the other. Start with some daily goals. Find some meaning, no matter how small. Embrace the people who love you. Keep going. Do the dishes. Put out the garbage. Wash your hair. Go for a walk. Read. Write. Paint. Increase your activities. Push negative thoughts out of your head. Can't go it alone- get some professional help! Know too that many people chose not to understand your situation so find positive people in your life who really care! If you can be the positive person to another, then be there!

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH THE TOUGH GET GOING

It is easier said than done. Some events in our lives just hit us in the gut. It is hard to keep up a  strong face. Knowing what can be done and leaving the rest for a another day is one strategy. Looking to family and friends for love and support is a given. Managing the workable parts. No one is invincible, even the tough ones. Oh yes, sometimes a good cry helps to cleanse the soul! Some say, it is not getting knocked down, it how fast we get back on our feet. But not rushing as it can lead to accidents. Take time to do things slowly and methodically. Life teaches us many lessons. To persevere is one of them. Just keep going and do whatever you can then the clouds will lift again. It is darkest before the dawn!  But some nights are just too damn long!! Aren't they?

PERSONAL GOALS ARE INDIVIDUAL

Personal goals have meaning to the individual. Sometimes the most simple things in life bring the deepest sense of fulfillment. Sometimes still standing on one's own two feet really helps. Taking up new interests and hobbies that were wished for years makes people happy. An idea in August that will play out at Christmas for some family members. Or revisiting a hobby and organizing it to determine its value can bring joy. My September and October was such an endeavor with labour intensive love attached.  A friend of mine took up running and ran her first marathon. Proud of her efforts in her 60s! A cousin takes amazing photos of his interest- nature and other misc. items he finds in his environment. A daughter who wakes at 430 am every day and runs on her treadmill to stay in shape before her busy day. The important aspect is not to compare with others. Rarely do I share my interests at work, for example. Have I ever become tired of hearing- well I don't have time for that! If  the activities I love to do are not of interest to anyone else they are kept close to my chest. So not sharing means what I do does not get put down by small minded people. Staying positive means keeping the toxic people away! Or your children are out of the home so you can not be as busy as I am!! Try being a grandparent!  Who really cares what someone's busy entails? Is your busy meeting your personal goals? If one has a health issue, sometimes the goal is to make it through the day doing one or two things. So I wrote my Christmas newsletter. Not too many exciting things on it. But lots was left off as the negative parts of my life do not get shared with the world. One of my personal goals is to keep focusing on the positive and getting through adversity!  Another goal is to listen truly to others around me. Act as if I care about them and you know what happens a friendship, a connection is made. When someone shares, keep it confidential! Let the person know their life has value too. Goals can have layers and sub-layers. Achieving them can take a lifetime or a week or a day. Lifetime changes take courage. Downsizing goals! New job search goals! Having another child goals! Life can be full of goals to be achieved! Or living each day with little, simple daily goals. One of my daily goals is to do something kind to others. Something as simple as pressing the button for the light to change so the cars coming out of the townhouse unit don't have to wait as long. Sometimes my kindness is keeping my mouth shut and not telling the person what I really think as it would be hurtful!  Of course, writing, writing, writing- you should see the little notes to self so I remember to write the thoughts down later. This blog has been such a personal goal. To try to think about what to write every day is a challenge!! So do you have personal goals? Do you share with others?

A path to somewhere! Or needing to cross the bridge to get to the other side?? Personal goals!

ADVERSITY

Is described as a misfortune in the dictionary. The condition of adverse fortune. There are times in our lives that are adverse. The real strength of character is how we deal with such hostility. In Christian faith, to turn the other cheek is one approach. Such sayings as " time will tell." "Patience is a virtue." Not responding with hostility does take courage. To wait out adversity in our lives while still trying to find a new path also takes creativity and perserverance our situation, luck, life will turn a corner! Adversity teaches us we are vulnerable. Our true friends come forward and our enemies reveal themselves. Have you ever been down and you noticed some people around you were actually enjoying your misfortune? Do you ever notice some people love to hear of others' misfortunes? While some people actually are sorry to hear such news! During times of adversity, protect yourself! Feeling vulnerable can let your guard down! Share with those who will respect your feelings! Are you experiencing some adversity in your life? What are your strategies to help you through this difficult time?

MAKING IT THROUGH THE DAY

Some days with tough times are hard to endure. By putting one foot in front of the other, we try to make it through the day. Are you dealing with a crisis, a problem, a tough time? Just keep going and make it through the day.

WEATHERING THE STORM

As the pictures from the Tornado in Goderich, Ontario flash across our screens, we can reflect on other disasters that we have seen. From floods to monsoons to hurricanes to tornados to war zones, no one  on this earth will escape some  adversity in his or her lifetime. We all can have something beautiful that can be destroyed in a short time. The town square in Goderich reminds me of Adolph's hometown Cassino afer WWII. It was a beautiful town before the war and completely rebuilt afterwards. It never was the same picturesque community. Courage and perseverance is needed to start over. To lose our homes and our stuff is not easy. We are often told well the insurance will pay. It does not replace the memories. The anxiety about other future disaster possibilities can manifest itself in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Letting ourselves grieve the situation before moving on is essential. When a community is affected, there is a solidarity in numbers-you do not feel alone! Have you experienced some adversity lately? Do you feel affected by witnessing disasters in the media? Have you weathered a storm recently?

A BARREL OF LAUGHS

Laughter is good for the soul. We laugh at a joke, ourselves, a sitcom. Even in adversity we should find the humour in any situation to help break the ice. Have you ever been at a tough meeting and the first little joke brings over exaggerated laughter? A funny story in an eulogy at a funeral reminds us the deceased was a person with a personalily. Laughing at people is not okay. Making fun of others in a hurtful way is not okay. Sarcasm is such humour. It is a back handed slap trying to be disguised as humour. The sarcastic person is difficult to be around! Who needs all that negativity? What do you find funny? Did you have a good giggle today?