Firstly who is a caregiver. A mother. A father. A daughter caring for a loved one. A son caring for a loved one. A wife caring for a spouse. A husband caring for a spouse. Any family member or friend caring for someone. Sometimes a paid job. The job is easier. You shift off. A family caregiver can not shift off. 24/7. The person can be any age.
Caring for someone takes love, patience and sometimes lack of sleep. It is relentless. Tasks need to be done. Over and over again. Often there is a real boredom factor. Many of the tasks are boring.
Often and usually there is no thank you. There is an expectation that the jobs will be done and the way the person wants them.
So how to help a caregiver. Relief. Time off. Time away. A day out. An evening out. Someone to come to the home. Someone to take the person out. A day trip. A breakfast out. An ice cream. A check in by phone, email or text. Those little moments help.
Company. Talking and sharing. Yes a treat. Come for a meal and bring some of it. Spend time with the person. Bring something social to them. Watch sports or movies or shows together. Family times. Laughter really helps. The situation is serious enough so some fun. Some levity.
No patronizing. No words of how strong the caregiver is. There is no strength but just perseverance. A duty. A responsibility. And sometimes resentment. Sometimes peace for doing the right thing. Often just numb to be able to continue. Knowing and acknowledging what has been done already rather than advice on what to do.
Remember caregivers can be sad too. Seeing someone they love unwell tugs at the heart. If a young child, hope as she/he grows the demands will diminish. If a sick person, knowing the demands will increase.
Caring is tough. Caring is love. Caring takes energy and time. Caring is repetitive. It is a one way street. The person may or may not give back.
Caregivers are everywhere. So if you are one and see one, share, give a hug and give some real acknowledgement. If you were a caregiver and your person is no longer here, it is not a contest. Give support to the caregiver giving the care now and not compare to what you did. Your journey is over. The caregiver is in the trenches now and does not need your history lesson.
Caregivers.
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