MEMORIES KEEP THE SOUL ALIVE

 Some days the good memories keep the soul alive.

The good times, the fun times, surviving the hard times.

The memories.

I realize that maybe I am a strong woman after all life has presented to me.

Surviving every day. But also remembering to live every day. Finding something positive in every day.

Not harping on what I have lost but reflecting on the good.

I will never stop missing Adolph. But I can remember so many times that life was meaningful and good.

Not a perfect life but a good life.

Not a perfect marriage but a good, loving, caring marriage.

A Girl Dad.

Not a perfect guy. But my guy. And I would take him every day.

#memorieskeepthesoulalive#missingalovedone#myguy#mymarriagewasgood#missingmyloveofmylife#mysoulmate#survivinglifeinagoodway#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro#thememorieskeepmegoing#

MEMORIES OF TOBERMORY-FIRST BEREAVEMENT TRIP-AUGUST 2021

 With family in August 2021, a 6 day trip to Tobermory and area.

Double rainbow greeted us on the first day.

The bay at Tobermory where people shop, boat and take rides to Flowerpot island.

Flowerpot island.

Ferry to Manitoulin Island.

Some incredible clouds were visible.

The large flowerpot.

Paths to the water.

Sunken ships.

Watching sunsets on Lake Huron. Even saw the big dipper.

Shoreline from a boat ride. So much to enjoy and love from nature.

Tobermory-that gem in Ontario.

#tobermoryontario#lakehuronhassomuchtosee#sunsets#doublerainbow#watchingthesunset#sunkenships#rideonthewater#flowerpotisland#walkinginthewoods#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

LOVE OF BARNS-MY FIRST PHOTO STILL RESONATES WITH ME

 I always loved barns.

I even bought a book the history of barns in Ontario.

There was a barn at Steeles and Dufferin that was octagonal. Long gone. Always wished I had photographed it. It is in the book luckily. So it is preserved sort of!!

So scanned this pic I took August 1975.

I always wished the light in the middle was not there. But in 1975 I was not as skilled at correcting photos.

This barn was located at Dufferin and Langstaff. Now the 407 runs through the property.

I know I have other barn photos to share. I will peruse my files for some. For now just memories of an old forgotten barn!

#barns#dufferinandlangstaff#vaughantownship#ontario#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

END OF SUMMER BRINGS AN ABUNDANCE OF FRUIT AND VEGGIES-WHAT I DID WITH PEACHES AND TOMATOES

 I used to do lots of preserves and jams. I felt the urge to do something.

So buying 25 lbs of tomatoes I decided to put down some bags to use in my sauce during the year.

I even had one with a thumbs up.

Left the tomatoes for a couple of days to they could ripen some more. Washed them.

With big freezer bags I put 5bags in the freezer. I usually use 5-8 tomatoes in my sauce. I cook them a little and peel off the skins before putting them in my slow cooker. So with passata and the other ingredients the tomatoes add some fiber and texture.

Then so many peaches available. So making a little batch of peach jam.

Fresh Ontario peaches from the Niagara area. Used 8 peaches.

Peel the skin and chopped them up in small pieces.

4 cups of fruit to 2 cups of sugar. Added some fresh lemon juice with a pinch of cinnamon.

Sterilized the jars with boiled hot water.

One large jar.

My large jar with one small one. The cinnamon made the jam a darker colour.

I tested some jam with a piece of toast. Lots of flavour.

Two jars are enough for this single person.

So a little preparation for winter when fresh fruit and veggies cost a fortune.

I used to make grape jam for Adolph. That was a labour of love as grape jam is more labour intensive.

#tomatoes#peaches#makingpeachjam#puttingtomatoesinthefreezerforsauce#preservesalittleatatime#Ilovepeachjame#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

CARING FOR A LOVED ONE-MAYBE SHE IS NOT OKAY!

 I heard a celebrity's wife talk about how she was really feeling.

Basically she said- " I am not okay". But people and others around her expect her to be strong and okay.

Privately and in her own way she is managing but she is not okay.

So Why?

Ask the question. How does it really feel to watch the love of your life slowly deteriorate a piece at a time.

It is what types of dementia really does.

If the loved one has other illnesses, it is the same deal.

So rather than ask how the person is doing, just show up. Just say I am checking in to see you and hear you and be with you.

It is so hard. Yes hard to watch someone you love not doing okay.

Age is irrelevant. Yes someone can have had a good life but losing that person is never easy.

Sad.

Aches the soul.

Breaks the heart!

No matter what is done the course of life can not be reversed. 

It is more than painful to watch and not be able to change things.

So if you really care and ask someone how they are doing, be prepared to listen.

A dignified end of life comes with hard work, effort, and lots of love. Always remember you are not talking about a sick person but a cherished loved one.

So the answer it is okay not to be okay but I am here. 

Hugs work too.

#caringforalovedone#okaynottobeokay#whattosayjustshowup#ageisirrelevant#hardtowatchsomeoneyoulovewhoisdying#losingsomeoneapieceatatime#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro#losingsomeoneapieceatatime#sad#achesthesoul#breakstheheart

MUSKOKA CHAIRS ARE FUNCTIONAL AND FUN

Fun ones from hockey sticks. Great ways to use old sticks.

 Plain ones to sit on as a way to converse or relax.

Now I have to search my files for more chairs!

#muskokachairs#muskokachairsfromhockeysticks#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

NANA SAYS WHEN A CHILD SHOWS REMORSE THERE IS A GOOD SOUL INSIDE

 Nana observes children in many different ways.

How do they respond to fun?

Winning?

Losing?

Supporting a friend?

What I observed recently was a child sorry for what happened to another child. The child was partially responsible for the incident. So seeing remorse. Upset and concern was a good thing.

Adults that are psychopaths do not show empathy. They never say they are sorry.

So watching how young children, teens or young adults react to situations is important. 

It is why we encourage children to say they are sorry. Helping them recognize the importance of accepting fault for activities. Knowing they can take responsibility for their actions is an important life skill.

What do you think? What have you observed in the children around you>

#nanasayschildrenneedtoshowremorse#beempathic#beingsorryforyouractions#encouragingempathyandsorrowinchildren#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

NANA SAYS CHIDLREN"S ART CAN TELL A STORY

 So basically our story is this. Grandpa came to Canda from Italy at age. He went to school and met her nana. It looks like they are a couple.

Allegra did this as a project for school.

Quite sweet isn't it??

#children'sart#grandpacametocanada#hemetnana#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

ITALIAN MEMORIES WITH ADOLPH-L'ASSUNTA AUGUST 15, 1991

 So I posted on Instagram, my facebook page and Cassino Italian Immigrants.

So why not post here?

The street was more picturesque at night when the lights were on.

Always a poignant picture with the Monastery on the mountain in the background.

Adolph and I were there for a couple of weeks in Italy. A few days in Cassino.

We went with his cousins to walk around the festival at night.

Memories can come from any date on the calendar. 

Today is L'Assunta so I thought I would share these street pictures of his hometown.

#cassinoitaly#l'assunta#rememberingatriptoitaly#myfirsttimeinitaly#streetscenesofcassino#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

KEEPING TOXIC PEOPLE AWAY-NOT AS EASY AS IT SEEMS

 Everyone has someone that hates you.

Everyone has someone that wants to see you fail.

It is not your problem. It is their problem.

Gossip spread can not be taken back. 

Like weeds in a flower garden it grows back.

How to keep defined boundaries?

So when you hear something that was said and told to you that was about you, do not knee jerk react.

Listen. Breathe and do not give the person any more fodder. Ask yourself-why is this person right now telling me this negative information? What does this person want to get from it? Help me or hurt me is what to ask yourself?

If asked a personal question, you do not have to answer it. Personal life is your business.

My view is always- what does the person want to do with the information. 

I listen. I see. I know a lot of things. Knowledge is power. So what to do with the power.

Well not much. Just knowing sides of every story is power. 

If the person that is on one side of the story is toxic then I get as far away from that person as possible.

Luckily for me, I am retired. So I do not have so many teams and groups and others that bring toxicity to my life.

Those to whom I must engage is done minimally. 

On the other hand, those that I love and embrace have me fully in their lives. 

Adolph and I were there for so many family members at stages of our lives. Yes several of those members did not reciprocate. And of course not even a thank you. Some did. But being kind and generous is worth it. Life presents itself as I find other good people have come into my life or back into my life. Old friends are now current friends again. Some family members are closer again. 

Life is a vacuum so getting rid of toxic people lets the good ones fill the space.

Since I have some good ones is just fine for me.

So how do you get rid of toxic people in your life?

#toxicpeople#gettingridoftoxicpeople#knowingwhoistoxicandwhoisnot#nurturingthegoodrelationships#lovingthosewholoveyou#keepingthegoodpeopleinyourlife#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

REFLECTIONS ON AN AUGUST DAY 2023- SOMETIMES REMEMBERING BRINGS ANXIETY

 Trying to enjoy the summer without becoming stressed about the Fall commitments.

September will be busy due to several functions.

Granddaughter starting university. Daughter going back for a second degree. Both York!

So today while I was greeting the morning I was remembering other very stressful times and my anxiety level heightened.

Knowing how many stressful times I have endured, survived is breathtaking.

Heh I made it to the other side. 

So when I am planning and doing and organizing in August which I really should just be enjoying I remember all is dobable and will not kill me. Also some people who need to give me information are not! Hum!

I remember to enjoy the summer. Walking. Sometimes just sitting outside. My backyard is a jungle so it is like being in a jungle, very private. Just without any dangerous jungle creatures. Ha.Ha!

So an anniversary celebrated. Phone call to a sister on her birthday.

A grandson's birthday is in the wings!! Yay-more cake.

The construction on the street is finished so the not knowing can I get out of my driveway, do I need to park up the street and the noise. However, to tell the truth there was a bit of excitement as it reminded me of Adolph's work for decades in the Construction Industry. Does it sound strange but I did not mind the smell of asphalt? Adolph's one company was in asphalt. He would come home sometimes after helping the guys with the aroma of asphalt. It was honest work and paid the bills and paid for some nice vacations.

So August. Love you and don't want to leave you.

#augustreflections#plannningandorganizingforSeptember#tryingtorelishthesummermonths#constructionbringsbackmemories#adolphwasinconstruction#augustbirthdays#ananniversarycelebrated#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

THE DEATH OF A SPOUSE IS NOT LIKE A DIVORCE

 So widows share notes on the dumb things people say to them.

Insensitive.

No compassion.

One lady told me a group she attended with her spouse had another member tell her this after she went back. Well I have never lost a spouse but I did have a cat that died. Hum!! Do you believe it?

Also many widows get told a death of a spouse is like a divorce. Well actually it is not.

Two very separate events.

Yes with divorce you can go through a grieving process. 

Death you go through a grieving process.

The two events are very different.

A divorce is a choice.

Death is permanent. And the widow did not have a choice.

My list of stupid things said to widows is growing.

#deathandgrieving#deathofaspouse#divorceisnotlikethedeathofaspouse#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

GETTING ACTIVITIES DONE FEELS GOOD-BUT IT IS A LITTLE BORING

 In the home stretch in resolving a multi decade issue.

House repairs. Yay my toilet is fixed.

Sorting through my collectibles for any items of value.

Working on my jungle of a backyard. However, the birds, the bees and the butterflies love it. Besides it is still Summer so more like a September job.

Organizing items for the Fall events that are coming.

Some fun patio lunches with family. Great to be outside.

My usual reading campaign did not happen. Just did not feel like sitting and reading. Short articles but not books. Maybe make it a Winter project.

Spending some time with grandchildren is good too.

Creating those memories.

Been trying some new recipes for one. Good to eat the seasonal fruit and veggies. Still a little pricey even though they are ins season and no transportation costs.

So continuing to find purpose in my life.

Yes the birds sing me awake in the morning. And the red eyes arriving from the west coming to Pearson Airport.

So does feel good getting things done in my life.

#gettingthingsdoneinmylife#activitiesbringsomepurpose#outdoorpatioeating#fallactvitiesunderway#workingonmyjungleofagarden#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

CONSTRUCTION ON ADDISON STREET IN RICHMOND HILL

 So the first clue that construction would start on my street- Addison Street.

The orange and black pilons.

Taking away the old curb.

Forming the curb. Adolph was in the Construction Industry. One of his companies did asphalt and concrete. So it was reminder of those days.

Curbs finished. Some asphalt to cover the gravel. Some stone in the patch on the driveway.

The man hole covers were replaced. A patch of asphalt has been made on my driveway.

The street is waiting for the new asphalt to be laid on the road.

The quiet of the weekend after all the noise last week is good.

I will post some more pics soon after the work will be finished.

#constructiononmystreet#richmondhillimprovements#curbsfinished#asphalttobedoneonthestreet#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

HOUSE OF KERRS RECIPES TO TRY- PEACH, PROSCIUTTO & BOCCONCINI MEDALLION BITES- YUMMY

 So I have been trying some of Sonya's House of Kerrs recipes.

Peaches are in season so why not her peach recipes.

You can find her peach recipes on her blog, website and instagram pages.

House of Kerrs

So buying the right ingredients= peaches, porsciutto, bocconcini sliced and fresh basil.

I bought the porsciutto and bocconcini at one of my favourite stores- Grande Cheese.

Peaches at a supermarket but also very available at Farmers Markets.

Ingredients ready to assemble.

A quarter slice of peach. Put on a basil leaf or piece. Put the cheese slice on top. Wrap the prosciutto around the peach combo. Secure with a skewer. Ready to eat.

Ready to eat. I left the pieces that were not used on my platter. Sonya suggested some balsamic vinegar as an optional idea to drizzle on the bites. I actually dipped my bites in some vinegar. Yummy.

I also posted this recipe on Granpalovestocook.

Granpa Loves To Cook

Another great way to use summer fruit.

I have been trying to get out of my comfort zone for food preparation choices. This was a good one.

#prosciutto#peach#bocconcini#basil#peachprosciuttobocconcinimedallionbites#tryasplashofbalsamicvinegar#houseofkerrspeachrecipes#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro#granpalovestocook

AUGUST BRINGS SOME WORK AND FUN

 There are 4 family birthdays.

An Anniversary.

CNE starts 3rd week of August.

Time to relish being outside as the days are getting shorter.

More music in the Plaza to attend.

If able going to a tennis match on Monday.

Oh August bring on some fun.

#August#birthdays#anniversary#morefunandlesswork#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro