DECLUTTERING-BUT I LOVE MY CRAP

Stuff, processions, things are around us all the time. We fill our houses, cupboards, closets full of stuff. Some things are needed but most of what we posses is decoration or just things. Whether we like it or not there is an emotional attachment to lots of our stuff. It is hard to get rid of it. Some people are hoarders and just have rooms and bins full of useless stuff. Do you watch the American Pickers and Canadian Pickers shows? Well if it was thought we had lots of things some of those people have barns and houses full of stuff! A rusty, dusty old thing can not be sold because the person featured on the show likes it too much. Even though the pickers found it under a pile of other rusty, dusty stuff! Forgetting it was there but loving it anyway! I love those two shows because it gives an idea of what is collectible. I love them even more because they give incentive to weed stuff. I personally do not want rooms so full I could not use them. Nor do I want cupboards that can not be opened because stuff will fall out. Nice neat cupboards are my thing. However I have lots of neat organized "crap" in my house. But I am on the road to getting rid of stuff. However, I really love my crap! How about you? Do you love your crap?

MIDDLE AGE JOB LOSS

Losing a job is equivalent to a divorce or even losing someone. With job cuts coming in the Health sector, there is a need for the understanding of the market that restructuring does not mean someone deservced to lose a job. The manufacutring sector may face some job cuts. Staying strong and knowing job loss is not one's fault helps the middle age worker to pick up and keep going! Sometimes going from management back to front line is a given. However some people never make it back. Losing a job can mean losing an identity. Have you faced a job loss? Have you reached to someone to help you job search?

HELP IN A HEARTBEAT

If needed, would you help in a heartbeat? I often say this to my children if I have helped, I would do it again in a heartbeat. A baby listens to his/her mother's heartbeat during the pregnancy. Music is supposed to be the rhythm of a heartbeat. A life can be lived if there is a heartbeat. The magical note for life- a heartbeat!

JANUARY COMING TO A CLOSE

Last working Friday of the month means doing work statistics, finishing some reports and looking forward to the start of the short winter month. Even have a long weekend thrown into the mix. The beginning of the year with some people having resolutions that may have fallen by the wayside! Plugging away at the regular stuff has been my mantra. Some done and some in process. Trying to go in several directions which doesn't help with the energy or sleep! Decluttering! What can be said about all the stuff that has arrived over the years. Sorting collections! What to keep, what to sell and what to give away. Oh the Spring with the curb where some stuff goes and luckily gets picked by a passerby or two! Endings and beginnings are always time for reflection! Birthdays celebrated, recent movies seen,  photos ordered from the last six months and need to be sorted for families, scrap booking to be done, writing and craft projects on the go! Many people hoping the winter will fly by! Not me! Always a time to get the indoor activities done and fend off those winter blues with jobs completed! Cleaner cupboards! Neater rooms! If the grandchildren visit, time to play in the snow! January a good start with the hope more will get accomplished in February!

MENTAL HEALTH- A CANADIAN DISCUSSION

Yesterday was Bell Let's talk day to bring awareness to Mental Health issues such as depression and anxiety. A wonderful idea with many people talking about the topic. Celebrities discussing their issues and supporting community resources. Today who is talking about it. I hope many people. Look around and support those in need. If you are in need, then tell someone so the hope and help can be given to you. Mental Illness is just that an illness that needs treatment and support as any other one. Is there a death sentence attached? Yes of course. Suicide! By reaching out and supporting hopefully lives can be saved.

NANA SAYS BE A ROLE MODEL FOR APPRECIATION

Parents struggle with the demands of raising children and the numerous daily tasks that must be accomplished. It is difficult to be told daily- I don't like this food, I don't want to go, you're a mean Mommy or Daddy. How to nurture appreciation of what you do by your children begins with being a role model. Listen to your own voice. Do you nag or yell at your children or does your voice also tell them- thank you, what a great job, thanks for listening. As a Nana, the thanks for listening is often said to my grandchildren. After a visit, I love you, you were so good for Nana- well sometimes that is a stretch as they are just children. Does your voice thank other people like store clerks and neighbours and friends and relatives. Even when you think children are not listening or paying attention, like little sponges they observe your behaviour constantly. Hearing good compliments to others and sincere conversation is the way to teach and model appreciation. Crusty adults were brought up by crusty parents. Expecting your children to thank others for their birthday and Christmas gifts, a meal out, the Mom or Dad of a birthday party attended, the coach, the dance teacher, the teacher for any activity given is a good practice. Making them stop and think about it. Appreciation of the small things every day, not just the big things. If I take my grandchildren on an outing or activity, I usually ask what was their favourite part. The answers are always interesting. Sometimes the outing was very stressful for Nana. But hearing there was a good time and what it meant to my grandchild is always refreshing. Bedtime is often a good time to reflect on the day and tell each child something special that was done. How you liked something. Teenagers whether you believe it or not need, yes need to hear you noticed something about them too. Look past the negative behaviours often given and find the positive. Again it may be a stretch but a needed one. Happy people find it easy to show appreciation. It comes naturally. Appreciation with a little happiness for having a life is a great way to start and end a day. I had a cute blessing recently. My precious grandchildren wrote some personal messages in their handmade birthday cards to me. In their own way they showed appreciation for me. Yes it takes work to find the time for appreciation but the lifelong rewards of happy, healthy appreciative adults will come your way. Meanwhile one day at a time with one good thought, word, conversation showing appreciation for others is a good method to be a role model.

BELONGING-A SOCIAL NEED

Being part of a social group is part of life. A family. A workplace. A profession. The ladies group at the church. The curling team Well you get the picture. Even the ones who get their coffee at their favourite shop everyday feel part of a group. When life changes- a group layoff, retirement, empty nest, relationship breakup to name a few, the loss is about more than the incident but the loss of the social network. Perhaps it is why the obsession with gadgets- cellphones, i-pads, tablets- another way to stay connected to a social group. Hundreds of facebook friends may be an illusion as they are not all your real friends but it gives a place to belong without much effort. Collectively we cheer on our favourite teams- belonging! Our faith group and local place of worship let us belong unconditionally. Why such a social need for humans? In the Animal Kingdom, there is such a phenomena  with many animals- gorillas, elephants, lions, antelope. Other animals are loners- polar bears, tigers! There can be different social groups for the same person!  Social belonging, acceptance, a sense of order.

ROBBIE BURNS DAY

Here's to the Scots everywhere. Celebrate your special day. With haggis and a favourite dance, maybe the The Gay Gordon! Eat, drink, be merry! If you do not have any Scottish blood but know someone who does, give a high five! Every special day is an opportunity to celebrate. So just try! Are you a Scot?

CANADA NEEDS SMALL BUSINESSES

Often the billionaires with the big corporations make the news. However, the little guy or gal that run  a small business employing a few people are the real backbone of the country. Buying into a franchise or starting a small shop or working from home to earn a living, the economy progresses with this hard work. Your hair salon or mechanic shop or the farmer's farm- the list could go on- make the nation strong. Yes worker at a large corporation is needed to keep the work flowing. So next time you go into your bank- thank your teller; your grocery store- thank the cashier; your library- thank the libraian; and always remember all the rest. If you are a hard working Canadian or was one since retirement is your gig, know the daily work and grind of all has made this country strong. Here's to the small business person- in the city, in the country, on the farm or on the sea!!

YOU LOOK LIKE A SENIOR

The liquor stores and others want ID to prove you are of age to buy the product, go in the club, buy a lottery ticket. Recently going to the movies, decided to ask for the seniors tickets. Little disheartening when the clerk did not even ask if I was a senior! Or for ID!Two senior tickets please and the job was done! I guess no matter how young I feel inside, I look like a senior now!

LIFE IS LIKE ONE DAY AT A TIME

We are told to live one day at a time. To accomplish a task one step at a time even when there may be shadows. Life lived in moments that make memories for a lifetime. The simple everyday accomplishments that lead to success. An essay written- from a word to a sentence to a paragraph to a page. A garden from the dirt dug, to the seed planted to the grown flower or tree. The skills of a player to the game to the victory. Small steps. Quiet moments. Life's blessings! Grabbing those blessings and holding them tight. Continuing despite any drawbacks. Life- one moment, one hour, one day at a time!

OPPOSITES ATTRACT OR DO THEY?

As a boreal forest will show us, coniferous and deciduous trees can grow side by side. In life many couples are thought to be opposites. The old adage- opposites attract. When assessed and viewed closely, most couples have more similarities than differences. The core values keep a relationahip strong. Perhaps little habits like the way the toothpaste tube is squeezed, sure a difference. But love of family, treatment of others and compassion may be more important. Couples often split because the differences in core values prevail not the fact that a sock was left on the floor. Relationships grow with mutual respect or they do not. Power imbalances can cause couples heartache. If the powerless mate gets more power more reason to end the relationship! Different interests are good. Brings some discussion. Alone time works too. Together time. It is often said that couples start to look like each other over time. Perhaps the differences that may have existed start to move to a neutral zone. So what do you think? Are successful couples really that different in personalities? Do they complement each other?

NANA SAYS EXPECT CHILDREN TO BE RESPECTFUL

Hanging around young adults, grandchildren and other children brings the point of what does respect really mean. Asking questions thoughtfully counts. But asking rude questions with a putdown in the voice does not. Preteens and teenagers often bark and talk disrespectfully. Calling the child on the tone and behaviour with manners and not barking back takes patience. One can say when you want to talk to me nicely I will be in the other room!! Setting the bar and showing by example is a real challenge for parents, grandparents and older work colleagues. The work piece is the fact that many adults play out their family issues in the workplace. I only have two children so have always refused to be treated like some one's parent even though the rudeness does come my way often!! Back to respect. What is it? Appreciating all our differences in a family. Age related. Younger and older children. No putdowns. No name calling. Letting each person have their turn in talking. Asking to use another person's stuff. Cleaning up your stuff. Parents teach, show, demonstrate respect or they do not. Give privacy. Everyone is allowed their own personal space.  Basically give what you want to have. Manners, appreciation, giving positive compliments, take energy and time. Try not to be in a hurry. Children may go through stages where they drag their feet leaving home. Remember home is the safe haven. Teach children to respect each other. One example, recently, one child was sharing cookies with an older child who refused the cookie- his hands are yucky! Nana pointed out the child was just sharing and doing a kind thing! Recognizing that hurt feelings can occur with the lack of understanding. The older child looked at Nana and seemed to be taking in the observation well!! Special occasions like birthdays are times for each person to be the centre of attention for a day. Others can be part of the fun. My mother-in-law used to light the birthday candles again and again for the grandchildren so at each birthday with the cake the other children could blow them out too! No hurt feelings! They were children after all and just want to be included. Teaching children to call other adults  Mr. or Mrs. is important!  I often find it respectful when my children's friends still call me Mrs. Di Mambro even though I am okay with just Barb. I know they are showing respect so do not correct them. In my workplace doctors that could be my children are called Dr. and not their first name. I give the respect that they have earned. Demonstrating! Being a respectful person is the best way to earn respect. If someone does not want to be respectful, it is that person's problems not yours. Simply do not lower your standards! Respect a huge and tough value!

FLOWERS AND PLANTS HELP WITH THE WINTER MONTHS

Thinking of spring and all that it brings today. Plants and flowers are good for the soul. In a month or so outdoor plants can be seeded indoors.

Cut flowers bought at a flower shop or grocery store add some colour to the indoors during the bleak months. Buy a plant, get some cut flowers or just water the plants in your home to help them bloom.
If you know someone who would benefit from some foliage, send them one or take it yourself for a long winter chat.

MID JANUARY BLUES

We are told today is the most difficult and depressing day of the winter. The Christmas bills have arrived. Winter looms. It is cold and snowy! Snap out of it! It's just another day with possibilities. Go to the mall and walk. Hit the library or a movie theatre or even read the paper or a book. If going to work, be thankful there is a job. Be thankful you were not locked out of your job! Get a payment plan and pay those bills. Use your resources at hand- I know I have enough resources in my house to knit at least 10 blankets, quilt another 5, craft supplies for my grandchildren until they head to college and well resources!! Use the first month of the year to jump start yourself! Get some cables and get going!

                                 Remember one step at a time! Or brick- build your future!
#januaryblues#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro#theatrehelpsthemood#readabook#countyourblessings

LOVE AND PRAYERS TO CELINE AND FAMILY

Celebrities die along with ordinary folk. The grief and loss is equally unbearable. For our chanteuse Celine, her soul mate passed away from a brutal cancer. Her boys do not have their father. It makes it sadder for that reason. Those of us who have gone through terrible losses, we understand her pain. We also respect her privacy, we are Canadian after all!! To her too for the loss of her brother! Too much in one week. And to anyone else out there who has experienced a loss- thoughts and prayers!

LIFE IS LIKE A HEART HEALTHY VEGETABLE SOUP

Adding any ingredients you have on hand, a good vegetable soup can accomodate many needs. Any fresh, wilted or precooked veggies found in the house can be put in the pot.  It simmers on the stove creating an aroma in the home that is therapeutic on a cold winter day. Eating it in small bowls or large ones alone or with crunchy bread, crackers or a bun, you dietary requirements are met. The variety in the meal makes it good for everyone who sits down to eat. Life can be a good bowl of vegetable soup- diverse, tasty, and nutrients to feed the soul!

RESEARCH IS MORE THAN A QUICK INTERNET DEFINITION

Too often a topic will come into a conversation. Someone looks up a quick fix on a cell phone. Now that's all is needed. Actually be careful as it is always important to validate the information with the source where it was obtained. Family historians or amateur genealogists know this. One must connect oneself with the ancestor by valid links and sources. Who did the research? What documents were used? Always cite your sources. Even when I wanted the certificate for the World War One ancestor from the OGA- Ontario Genealogical Society- I had to submit documents proving the link from me to the person. Research can be found everywhere- live people, libraries, books, articles and even the Internet. For this researcher many historical links have pamphlets and documents from obscure sources. Those primary references are so vital to research. Not just the quotes from them. Recently for example found a book online- History of Upper Canada by Caniff written in the 1800s with vital first hand information of the time- over 300 pages so difficult to print but can be accessed as needed. Books or documents for historians with primary resources are ways to check and validate information. Taking the same event and trying to find as many quotes and information linked to it. Archives will give a list of the resources but one must actually go to the archives to view them. There is something about seeing an original source. Fortunately for us the Internet does bring a "library" to one's desktop or laptop. The census records for example are accessible and with a click the original writing can be viewed. Why is this important? Too often the writing has been misinterpreted so viewing it and judging for oneself, for example, whether it is an r or s helps with the research. Experience teaches that indexes can be faulty too. So go back to the original source. The same principles apply to scientific, medical, psychological, business, english or any other discipline. Read the references of any source first hand and make your own conclusions. Quick definitions can be useful sometimes but if it becomes a habit be prepared for someone in the crowd to correct you with the deeper meaning. If there is someone who knows a topic perhaps put down the cell phone and ask intelligent questions of a live person. I have a scientist in my family group so I would rather ask him about certain topics then just the quick fix! How about you? What do you use for research? Who would you ask? Someone with experience can be a invaluable resource!!

A WINTER BLAST

Winter has really arrived in the GTA. Other parts of Canada have been experiencing winter weather with a vengeance for the last month. Good thing boots and scarves and hats are in good supply. It is good to have some real winter days and get it over!  January plugs along! Birthdays celebrations are happening! Besides spring is closer than a month ago!

I'M THE MOM

Someone asked me who was cooking Christmas dinner or holding the party or just doing the social thing. My response- me- I'm the Mom. Starting out in life girls are girls that attend events but eventually have their own lives and become a Mom.  But eventually in a family group someone becomes- the Mom. The one that holds the fort together but allows the freedom for others to come and go. The one who makes sure events get planned and food and items bought. The Mom! Every kid will love the cooking his or her Mom makes. Some aunties or friends of the family are the substitute Mom! When and how it happens that a 20 something woman becomes the Mom that makes the magic of Christmas, the fun at birthday parties, and down the road is the Mom to her Mom or Mother-in-law! Taking over the reins in the family group to make sure all the generations are honoured. Actually there are other Moms in my family group- my 2 daughters! Great Moms to their children! The Mom has so many levels for all of us. When planning or socializing or celebrating how often do we hear about how some one's Mom did things or created a disaster meal. For us it was when my Mom made the Pierre Berton's beans recipe- hard as bullets because she forgot to soak the beans first. But her lemon or apple pies were great. The times she made fudge and we would fight over
whose turn it was to scrape the pot! The Mom makes so much happen. Little things and big things. The Mom there for her family and friends! So who is the Mom in your group? Do you have several who take turns at different events? The Mom- what does it conjure up for you?

JANUARY FULL OF ANNIVERSARIES AND BIRTHDAYS

The start of the year includes fun times like birthdays and anniversaries. Not that we really need to eat more sweets- a birthday cake or two helps with the mood! Celebrating at home or out at a nice restaurant gives life a little boost. So Happy Birthday to all those people celebrating in January. And a special 10th anniversary full of love is happening today too! Even if you do not have a special day, just find an excuse to celebrate something!

And there is always cake for all occasions! And ages!

NANA SAYS OUTDOOR WINTER PLAY IS GOOD FOR CHILDREN

Children love to play in the snow. Build snowmen. Toboggan. Ski. Snow board. Being outdoors is healthy for everyone. Find spots in the neighbourhood where fun can be had. In Richmond Hill the hill by the library up the street is crowded with people on sleds or toboggans when there is snow. The Mill Pond in the centre of town has skaters all winter. A walk pulling little ones on a sled is a simple family activity. Or making snow angels! Winter can be embraced!

TIME TO REVISIT THOSE WINTER PROJECTS IN JANUARY

Do you have a little pile of knitting projects or writing or woodworking that need some attention? Getting back to them can bring some renewed energy. When I crochet or knit a blanket for example, it serves a double purpose because it actually helps to keep me warm when I am sitting. Are you a gardener? You can not garden but some winter planning can be done. Buy a magazine if you need a jolt of creative ideas. January is a good month to begin or finish many things. by embracing it as an opportunity between spring garden cleanup and fall garden cleanup. If you had ideas of changing some areas on your property, winter planning gives a head start to the spring garden. The indoor stuff can be tackled slowly and methodically. Are you planning a move in the future? Time to tackle one closet at a time- keep, sell, give away can be your motto! Do you ever look in the back of a closet and discover stuff you forgot you had? Another motto- do I love you enough to move you? Of course, the younger generation will not want your stuff until it is given away!! Or discover those knick knacks did have some worth after all! That's why methodically is good. If not in a hurry, do not be mercenary! The internet let us research various items and often discovering there are stores, groups, clubs, sales out there that may want your stuff! And if lucky get some money for it! So January with the cold and all the winter blahs can be a time to get down and dirty with your home! Not the most exciting things to do but at the end of the month, you could walk away with a sense of accomplishment! And space in those decluttered corners!

DO YOU HAVE THE WINTER BLUES YET?

With Christmas over and the New Year celebrations a memory, many people and kids are heading back to their normal routines. Just the normal can bring a feeling of boredom after all the December hoopla. Yes Epiphany is January 6th so some Christian Orthodox people will still celebrate. The busyness and purpose to get things done keeps us focused. January and the rest of the winter months bring that let down feeling whether we like it or not. Taking down the Christmas decorations and putting away the lights makes one's home look bleak. If several months in a sunny location is part of your winter plan, good for you. Most people stay and work and carry on! Accepting the low mood as part of the scenario is a good start. Finding activities to help the mood is a good goal. Remember people need light so the sun not being around as much during the day does not help our moods either. Getting outside for some winter activities helps. Or be a mall walker if you are concerned about falling on slippery sidewalks. Or a trip to the gym to work out helps many people too. If finances are an issue, weekly trips to the library where you can sit and read or peruse the books gets one out of the house. Elderly have a difficult time with winter so if there are relatives or friends in your family circle include them and get them to some social events too. Perhaps there is a reason bears hibernate for the winter. Were humans supposed to do the same? If hibernating at home is your thing, include meaningful activities and events. The modern world with facebook, email, twitter, face time and whatever else can be used helps to stay connected and not isolated. However, real face to face time with real people and real conversations are needed too. Touching and a family hug are good! Talking on the phone to a real voice is good for the soul. Winter blues are real. February is the worst month for depression and suicides. So reach out to others to help with the situation. If you are feeling blue then you reach out to others for your own mental health and sanity. By embracing winter and its activities is one good way to change the attitude from it being a down time to a time with fun and friends. Sounds simple but I walk year round so the walk to work and back gets me some fresh air. If my grandchildren visit and want to play outside, well I often join them for some simple outdoor fun. Just making an effort to be outside helps the mental and physical. If there is decent packing snow, then make a snowman or I guess it should be called a snowperson! Of course if enough snowfalls, snow shovelling gets everyone outside! A good hot chocolate and marshmallows with a cookie is good for all adults. As winter progresses the subject will be revisited. How are you coping so far?

LIFE IS LIKE A FIREWORKS DISPLAY

Fireworks happen at special occasions. New Year's Eve saw displays throughout the world- a collective activity for world's nations. Big displays, little displays! Victoria Day and Canada Day- Canadians can have them in their own backyards! Ontario Place in Toronto used to have them all summer long sponsored by various countries.  Fireworks let's us see something fun and flashy, often set to music. We gather as a crowd looking to the sky for the lights. It looks easy but a group of technicians needed to plan, do the choreography and then set it off on schedule. All the work is over is just a few minutes! Gather our blankets or chairs to trudge home until the next special moment. Sometimes we can have firework moments. A fun party. Reconnecting with old friends. A new family member. An engagement. Oh fireworks, give us those highs in life!
#fireworks#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro#lifeislikeafireworksdisplay#lifecanbeexcitingsometimes

JANUARY CLEANUP

Christmas behind us, it is time to put away all the decorations. Cleaning the house for the winter months is good. There is the opportunity to go through stuff- keep, discard, sell, give away! Adding the new clothes from Christmas needs space in those closets. So giving away what is not needed nor worn can be a mini project while watching a favourite movie or listening to music. Even that messy garage can be tackled with the winter down time. Fending off the winter blues can be helped by your January cleanup!

A NEW YEAR-A NEW START

January 1 always has such optimism attached to it. A day of college football and parades in the United States. Polar bear swims in the Toronto area. No matter how cold a bunch of people run into the cold water of  Lake Ontario for a dip. Some families have special family dinners. Others put away the Christmas decorations and stuff. Some just have a hangover from all the New Year celebrations. A statutory holiday so a day off work. January the month to return to normal activities. Often time to feel the post Christmas blues or try to plan a trip south to warmer climates. The first day just brings it home that opportunities abound.