NANA SAYS EXPECT CHILDREN TO BE RESPECTFUL

Hanging around young adults, grandchildren and other children brings the point of what does respect really mean. Asking questions thoughtfully counts. But asking rude questions with a putdown in the voice does not. Preteens and teenagers often bark and talk disrespectfully. Calling the child on the tone and behaviour with manners and not barking back takes patience. One can say when you want to talk to me nicely I will be in the other room!! Setting the bar and showing by example is a real challenge for parents, grandparents and older work colleagues. The work piece is the fact that many adults play out their family issues in the workplace. I only have two children so have always refused to be treated like some one's parent even though the rudeness does come my way often!! Back to respect. What is it? Appreciating all our differences in a family. Age related. Younger and older children. No putdowns. No name calling. Letting each person have their turn in talking. Asking to use another person's stuff. Cleaning up your stuff. Parents teach, show, demonstrate respect or they do not. Give privacy. Everyone is allowed their own personal space.  Basically give what you want to have. Manners, appreciation, giving positive compliments, take energy and time. Try not to be in a hurry. Children may go through stages where they drag their feet leaving home. Remember home is the safe haven. Teach children to respect each other. One example, recently, one child was sharing cookies with an older child who refused the cookie- his hands are yucky! Nana pointed out the child was just sharing and doing a kind thing! Recognizing that hurt feelings can occur with the lack of understanding. The older child looked at Nana and seemed to be taking in the observation well!! Special occasions like birthdays are times for each person to be the centre of attention for a day. Others can be part of the fun. My mother-in-law used to light the birthday candles again and again for the grandchildren so at each birthday with the cake the other children could blow them out too! No hurt feelings! They were children after all and just want to be included. Teaching children to call other adults  Mr. or Mrs. is important!  I often find it respectful when my children's friends still call me Mrs. Di Mambro even though I am okay with just Barb. I know they are showing respect so do not correct them. In my workplace doctors that could be my children are called Dr. and not their first name. I give the respect that they have earned. Demonstrating! Being a respectful person is the best way to earn respect. If someone does not want to be respectful, it is that person's problems not yours. Simply do not lower your standards! Respect a huge and tough value!