FAMILIES ARE LIKE FLOCKS OF GEESE

Families are like flocks of geese. Sometimes one takes the lead, then moves over to let another do the job. They mate for life. They like to return to the same area to have their babies indicating they like stability. Not every goose likes the other goose. So in families there can be differences, disagreements and even times when it is more important to put distance on relationships in order to survive. Siblings can be estranged as can children from parents. Finding one's way with family can be simple or very complicated. Add in-law relationships and it can become even more complicated. Real families talk about their issues. Large families can have the pretense that everything is fine because large numbers get together! Being in the same room does not mean everyone cares for everyone else. Different ages and different stages can bring an ebb and flow to a family. There can be decades of discontent that erupts later in life. "Mom always liked me best!" Some children just need to be the one! " I am the oldest so I deserve everything, and you do not!" Believe or not this still can be the battlecry in many families. It is such an archaic concept! Just because royalty has to abide by this rule does not mean the average family has the same rule! Even giving more to the boys than the girls rules in some cultures is still a standard! Like it is said we can pick our friends but we can not pick our family! If you are dealing with any troubles right now, just put distance on it! Pick the number of times a family event needs to occur- 2- 3 events annually is more than enough! If the relationship is stronger than as often as you want! Just because your family looks like a flock does not mean alone and down times help you survive! Nurture your own family. Your spouse and little children should take priority over the extended family. Regroup! Renew! Revisit what is important to you! Don't confuse childhood good memories with the conflicts of adulthood. Life and families change! How you enjoyed things at 5 is very different than 35! Families are good when they work! So find the good points about your own family and distance from the negative ones! And feel good about it! Look at some of the immigrants who left large family groups behind-visiting every so many years! Hum was there a reason for it! Probably! Emotional distance is good for everyone! What do you think about your family? Are there concerns that need contemplation? Are there things that you can just let go?