NANA SAYS DOES MORE CHILDREN MAKE YOU A BETTER PARENT?

An interesting discussions occurred at work recently. One of my colleagues had a discussion with an acquaintance that was telling her to have only one child does not make you much of a parent. That person had gone on to discuss someone she knew who had six children which made for a better parent. When did having one child not count as being a parent? Did that person know that many women have had fertility and pregnancy issues? Perhaps the one child was the result after many losses. What if a person decides she only wants one child and three dogs and two cats. When did the number of children make a person a better parent anyway? As a professional social worker and an experienced person, witnessing many dysfunctional families that come in a variety of sizes has provided a different viewpoint on the whole matter. A person can have five children but two of those children could be mistreated and can not wait to leave the family home. If a parent has a drinking problem, for example, the number of children does not make the person a better parent. Adults I have known that came from very large families often resented having to care for younger siblings during their childhood. They felt they were robbed because they were their mother's built in babysitter. The parent that has a late day baby expecting the teenagers in the home to be available often do not realize the long term effects. An older child pushed aside for the little baby at a time in their teens when guidance is needed is not positive. Well back to the number! Is there an ideal number for family size? Two is average and not a bad number! However, family size is up to the couple. Parenting means giving to each child in the family uniquely to that child! But expecting children to be happy they are just one of the bunch should not be the expectation. Dynamics between parents, between children and between extended family needs to be monitored and yes nurtured constantly. A good parent regardless of family size is a difficult road to follow. The important point is not to judge the small or large family size! If you are in a family system play your part in helping to provide a positive adult perspective to any child- your own child, a niece or nephew, a grandchild or a family friend's child! It takes a village to raise a child so be a positive force of that village.