IS IT DEALING WITH GRIEF OR LOSS- IS THERE A DIFFERENCE?

 So I read an article published in the Good Times newsletter on grief.

A good overview.

But it made me think that grief is raw and more immediate.

Loss is permanent.

So remembering a loved one is it grief or acknowledging the loss.

Grieving is more intense.

Loss is forever.

So moving forward in life and grieving less but remembering the loss.

A loss in our lives never goes away. 

Whether the loss of a loved one, a job, a divorce, health, aging, empty next, moving to a new residence, a friendship and all the other losses that can occur.

So what do you think? Is loss manageable? Does grief rage for years or does it turn into chronic loss!

#grief#loss#aregriesandlossdifferent#Ithinkgriefandlossaredifferent#learningtolivewiththeloss#reflectivethoughtsbybarbara#barbaradimambro

NANA SAYS HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH A DEATH TAKES SENSITIVITY

Helping children deal with the death of a loved one is often tough for adults. Depending on the age of the child, there is a different understanding of what death means. Not like the cartoons with the person suffering severe injuries and jumping up and being well. Losing a grandparent can be tough. How do the adults in the child's life help the child to remember the loved one? Sometimes it is as simple as letting the child talk about their feelings and their thoughts about the grandparent. At special events such as Christmas, for example, a little picture ornament with the grandparent's picture can be very inclusive. Occasional cemetery visits can be useful if there is a place to visit bringing the message home that it is okay to remember and miss the person. Adults often have trouble dealing with their own feelings so need to share their difficulty with their children. It is okay to admit it is one of the toughest things to occur in one's life. There are so many books and workbooks to help children deal with a loss. Check out your library or bookstore. Funeral homes believe it or not have wonderful brochures on various themes and dealing with the losses. There is no right answer as each child is different in a family and may need a different approach. It is important to take your time and try not to have set answers. Missing loved ones will always have some place in a family network. Being patient and sensitive is what good parenting is all about!

ANTICIPATORY GRIEF

Anticipatory grief starts to occur when we start to feel at a deeper level we are losing someone or something we love. We can begin to feel sad, cry, numbed out as the journey starts to become painful. Sitting beside the bed of a loved one who is dying conjures it up. The sense of loss is overwhelming. Moving, changing jobs, a child going to university away from home, the beginning of the empty nest syndrome, changing health can have aspects of grief. We begin to mourn sometimes even before we consciously realize that the feeling is there. Seeing loved ones changing and feeling helpless brings grief. Many adult children watch their parents slowly changing before their eyes. Are you struggling with a heavy heart? Do you think you may be having some anticipatory grief about the situation? Let your feelings evolve and grieve.

FRIENDS

In our lifetime we have the joy of making friends-new, old and in between. They know our history and is often said, love us anyway. No explanation when they're needed, just listen, know what we need. When a friend dies, the loss can be so overwhelming. Not replacable. New work buddies, vacation mates, will come into our lives. I am a good friend. I like to be there for others. I like to know I can be trusted and feel honoured when I am empowered with that trust. Sometimes we are lucky meeting someone new and it is as if we have known that person all our lives. There are people I wish were here today. I really miss them- their voice, their thoughfulness, their friendship. Is there a friend you are missing today? Has someone given you the friendship you need? Are you a good friend? What would our lives be without the friends who have crossed our paths?