SAD DURING COVID-19- A FEELING THAT CREEPS IN

I saw a news clip today from a doctor in New York City. She works at a main hospital there.

A young doctor. She basically said she has never felt so sad in her whole life. She basically was experiencing how overwhelmed she felt.

So when we bang our drums and give food and say thank you to our health care providers, remember they are just people dealing with people. Not really super heroes.

They are not the only ones seeing the sad part of our lives right now.

Trying to secure a few grocery items and having to treat strangers with the physical distance thing as if they are the enemy.

How about all of you? Are you feeling sad?

The dictionary says- sad-unhappy, feeling sorrow, or regret. Doesn't cut it does it?

Sad can make us mad. Anger is often a defense for true sadness. Easier to be angry at things then admit how sad we feel

Sad can make us just want to stop and do nothing. Or rev up the fires and try to do everything over the top.

Sad can make us cry. Is crying okay? You bet. Gets the toxins out of our body. Let's us know how sad we really feel.

Don't be ashamed to feel sad.

This crisis is a really sad event with many long lasting consequences.

Not just an illness. But a change in thinking. Economy. Hopes. Dreams. Well you get the picture. It is all over the news. Everyone of us has our own issues during this crisis.

But allowing ourselves to feel sad. Sad is part of the grieving process. We can grieve one thing or everything.

So talk to others about this feeling of sad. Let your children know that it is a feeling they may be feeling and just don't know how to articulate it. They might just be presenting as angry at you.

We can feel our sadness and know others feel it too. We can share it with loved ones. We can  do a family hug even if it has to be by video chat or face time.

Sad also let's us know how compassionate we can be. We can give to others through thoughts, prayers, food and stuff.

Admit your feelings. It is okay. It is a personal journey, a family journey, a community journey, a national journey. It can feel isolating and lonely. It can feel collective.

So find ways to accept your sadness. You will get through it. Sad takes us to a different place in our lives and souls. Sad let's us know how real and human we are.

So how are you feeling today? What are you doing about your feelings? All of them.
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DO YOU HAVE THE CHRISTMAS BLUES?

Amidst all the hoopla of Christmas there can be some hidden feelings. The surface happiness can hide some underlying depression, anxiety or grief. Christmas as the special time it is, can be a reminder of missing the old times, the loved ones no longer with us or perhaps the first time away from home in a different place. Not every family lives around the corner from each other. Often siblings, children, cousins can be spread across the country or even the world. Wanting everyone to be together is just not feasible! If it is the first Christmas after a loved one's death it can bring the blues faster. Recognizing how one is feeling and knowing it is not unusual to have some down times or a low mood let's all the emotions of the season prevail. Pulling out favourite pictures, watching the home movies or videos, putting a Christmas decoration on the tree as a reminder or whatever let's all the feelings be normalized helps with the days of feeling down. If there are family conflicts Christmas can be a time they rise to the occasion. Spending too much time together can exacerbate them. So limiting the time can help. Often everyone comes together to satisfy one family member but it may not be the happy time wanted. There can be a Donny Downer in every family! Stay away from him! The competitive one is another annoyance. My gift cost more than yours! Or the- I was so busy with my life, I did not have time to get anything for anyone! The Blues can be caused by those negative people that exist in families! So what to do! Gravitate to those people that mean more. Maybe say no to a function or two if they have become out of hand! Create your own Christmas season. Do the things that have meaning to you and yours. For your children, make new traditions that will be their memories. With your grandchildren, find some fun stuff to do- less is more so make them simple. Sometimes just a walk in the snow or making the best snowman works for the Canadian child! The time together! Sometimes the blues can be conquered by telling people in your lives how much you love them and just being together is the best Christmas. If you are missing someone, have a good cry! If we can't cry with our grief when can we? Christmas colours are red, green and white but sometimes blue creeps in!
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SAD THAT PAINFUL EMOTION

Feeling sad takes us to the depth of our souls. There are some situations in life that are just sad. Can not sugar coat them. Sometimes we are so sad that there are no more tears. What do you do when you are feeling very sad?

ANTICIPATORY GRIEF

Anticipatory grief starts to occur when we start to feel at a deeper level we are losing someone or something we love. We can begin to feel sad, cry, numbed out as the journey starts to become painful. Sitting beside the bed of a loved one who is dying conjures it up. The sense of loss is overwhelming. Moving, changing jobs, a child going to university away from home, the beginning of the empty nest syndrome, changing health can have aspects of grief. We begin to mourn sometimes even before we consciously realize that the feeling is there. Seeing loved ones changing and feeling helpless brings grief. Many adult children watch their parents slowly changing before their eyes. Are you struggling with a heavy heart? Do you think you may be having some anticipatory grief about the situation? Let your feelings evolve and grieve.