NANA SAYS CHANGE CAN BRING DEFIANCE, REGRESSION AND ANGER IN CHILDREN

As the summer is upon us, children can already be saying I am bored. Routines established during the school year change and impact the mood of all. Sleeping in loses its appeal when everyone must get up for the bus to day camps or programs. Not all parents have the luxury of taking 9 weeks off every summer so must find alternative solutions for children. Leaving friends and a loved teacher or caregiver can be very unsettling for little ones. I noticed with my little grandchildren leaving Day Care and Kindergarten for Grade One in the Fall has been trying for them. Change can bring regression in behaviour, defiance and anger acted out in different ways. Think about it! We all react to change. The older we are the more we know what we dislike and know how to label it. Adults experience mood changes, angry behaviour and may find themselves resisting new ideas with any change. Children do not know what to do with their feelings sometimes. Who takes the most? Usually the Mom who is always there and often Dads if they are around often. Testing and talking back may be a way to ask- are you going to leave me too? I remember one colleague telling me about her son when he did not like going to the big school when he left Day Care. It was scary. The rooms were too big. Children do not often talk about their feelings but if they share anything-go with it! Tell your child you know it is tough, they will miss the person or the event or the old school. Let the child know change is hard. It is okay to feel sad, mad or glad. Remember though anger is usually a defense for sadness. So letting your child cry- yes cry and get out the feelings about the situation can cleanse little people, teenagers and big people too. School out and the summer should be fun but the beginning brings all the changes. Remember less is more! So weekly routines like a trip to the library. Homemade ice cream cones or a trip to a favourite place for a cone! Giving little chores with an incentive like an increase in allowance could help. And help you too! Picking up after everyone becomes boring for the parent or adult in a child's life. If you the parent act as if you like being with your children, it does help the mood. Sit on the floor or at the table and do a craft with them.  Get out your bike and do a bike ride of two with them. Encourage alone time for everyone to give alone time to parents or other caregivers as well. Of course, lots of hugs and family hugs. Even with crabby little children and big ones too insist they must hug you and give a kiss. Touch has a calming effect on all of us. It is also a way to show you love someone. Oh yes, at least once a day tell your children you love them. I know you might not always like them- but you do love them!!!