NANA SAYS GRIEF IS A DIFFICULT ONE FOR CHILDREN

When someone in a family dies, there is always a dilemma on how much to involve children. Age and the degree of relationship to the person are factors. Someone very close may mean the child needs to be part of the funeral process. Distant relative or friend, the child may be told but not need to be involved. Parents struggle with this. Viewing a body in a casket can be traumatizing for childrren. Does a child need to see the person? There are differing views on the subject. Unfortunately there is no right or wrong answer. Having a child draw a picture, write a poem or story can be a way to be involved. Part of the post funeral wake and meal is easier. Talking about feelings. It is sad. We will miss the person. Maybe a trip to the cemetery at a later date will bring some discussion. Letting feelings be real and raw can be frightening for children too. Seeing a parent cry may be hard. But it is real and part of life. There are many resources and story books on various deaths. I have one when Granma Dies. So a theme workbook or book may be a way to include the child. Parents can ask others for guidance on what to do. However, a parent knows their own child best. What works for one child may not work for your child.

JUST GET STARTED TO ACCOMPLISH ANY TASK

Do you ever have days where you know you have lots to do but just can't get around to anything? Well just get started. Tell yourself you will stay at it for 15 minutes. Pulling ten weeds from a garden. Loading the dishwasher. Working on a writing project. Beginning a craft. Many tasks get finished because they were started. One word to a age. One plant to a garden. One step to a walk. More work and less thinking about it. Just think in the wonder of modern times putting a load of dishes on, one can listen to the machine do the work! Procrastination holds all of us back from accomplishing many things in life. Yes many tasks are really boring. Like digging the garden. But putting the plants in let's one have months of enjoyment! So do the boring tasks first to get to the ones really loved as a kind of reward! So what are you waiting for? Get started!

NANA SAYS LET CHILDREN DO SOME CHORES

Even very little children can have a job in the house. Putting their shoes neatly by the door and hanging their sweaters or jackets on their own hook. As children age, making their bed, putting their dishes in the sink or dishwasher. Little chores for little people. Big chores for big people. The sky is the limit as a house and grounds have so many tasks. So with spring the garden can incorporate the children. Give them a spot to plant something either pretty flowers or seeds for vegetables. The children can water and weed their little patch in the garden. Even sweeping the back porch or barbecue area to keep it clean of outdoor debris. Making children responsible for some of their lives is good learning. Then when they come to the workplace, colleagues will not have to say- your mother does not work here! On the larger outings for picnics or to parks, teach them to pick up any garbage in their area and not to litter! If you do not want someone to throw garbage on your lawn and property, then do not let little ones throw anything in the big world out there. Learning from a young age to be aware and responsible for their piece of the world is a good thing!

EACH TASK HAS SMALL PARTS

Any job can be tackled. But biting off more than one can be chew makes any task insurmountable. Experience teaches us that anything will take 3 times longer than initially anticipated. So how does this help us? Hire someone else to do it is always a good plan. But for most of us little tasks can be accomplished with some grit. Houses and gardens are never ending work. Each season brings new work. So planning and more planning before starting is a good- well plan. Cleaning a whole house is a task but a drawer, a cupboard, a room, a window can be done in small parts. A neighbour of mine cleans one window each week over the spring and summer thus getting all her windows done but in parts. Perhaps do some tasks as spring cleaning and some tasks as fall cleaning so areas are done annually. Reviewing seasonal clothes is always a good task twice a year and a way to decide what to keep and what to donate! There comes a time in life where the decision to change comes with the workload. Bigger is not better, just more work and expense. So if going smaller, what to keep, what space is needed and what kind of work to continue doing. That's where planning comes into the picture again. I have empty closets now so I know subconsciously I am going smaller. Empty nesters use the old space the children used then eventually succumb to the idea that the space is no longer really needed. Cleaning less space is more enjoyable than hours on a weekend trying to clean more. Besides projects that are not cleaning bring a different joie de vivre to one's life. Gardening can be a pleasure or a chore. The same goes for any activity. Even the exercise program one does can be fun or arduous! So tasks of any nature with attainable parts are doable! The 20 minute goal for many activities does get much accomplished. Like this blog which I still enjoy doing. It is discipline but worth doing as it keeps me writing and going back to other writing projects. So my next task getting ready for work! How about you? What are the tasks in your life? How are you managing them? Whatever looks overwhelming, just divide into smaller tasks!

MONDAY BRINGS CLOSURE TO THE WEEKEND

Monday mornings as the season changes and the lights need to be on as early routines are performed start to feel cumbersome. Get the day started so the work week will be in full swing again. Trying to pack 5 days into a 2 day weekend just does not work. I love it when I am on a roll with a project. However, the basic housekeeping tasks get done as it is difficult to do a project and clean at the same time. Unless of course the project is cleaning a corner of the house.  Writing projects mean sitting and writing, editing and rewriting. They always take more time than anticipated. Organizing some family history means being methodical and citing the sources which takes the time it needs to take. So My mind is on the tasks accomplished from the weekend. Too bad work must get in the way!!

ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER

Do you ever feel down in  the dumps? Do you find it is hard to get going? Do you struggle to get through the day sometimes? Put one foot in front of the other! Just get started! Sometimes the struggle becomes an accomplishment. Do the biggest task first! So the other tasks seem easier to do! Simple easy to do! At the end of a busy work day, just plan on one task per night! Forcing yourself to carry on! Like the ad, just Do IT!

DO IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME!

I learnt to sew from my mother. She would sew an item, check it then take her razor blade and rip out the seam. So I would use the trial and error method until I started to think about it and decided if I measured the item first then sew perhaps I would only need to sew it once! Voila! It worked. And I bought a seam ripper- a very cheap sewing tool just in case I did need to remove some stitches or hem some pants or a skirt. By taking our time with items in our lives and planning, thinking, measuring it saves lots of aggravation in the long run! New furniture, for example, may not fit the rooms you have in your home! So map out the room before buying! Where to hang a picture on a wall? Measure first! In my first homes there would be many holes behind each picture I hung- now one! When I knit a sweater for example, I knit both sleeves at the same time thus saving time of measuring and checking tension etc. Every knitter has had the experience of one sleeve being slightly longer than the other. Counting stitches and marking them down on a piece of paper is a simple method. Writing in our lives!  It has become so easy for High School and University students with spell  and grammar check. However, it is still a good idea to have a dictionary and thesaurus handy to know the meaning of words. A little concise book of English grammar can be another tool for doing it right! Is it affect or effect? What is the noun and what is the verb? What is an adjective and an adverb? Take an inventory of how long it takes to complete any task. Then dissect the steps involved and you may discover there are ways to eliminate some of those steps. Did you take three steps forward and one step backwards? Perhaps! Each new task takes time to learn how to do it but over time it becomes a skill. So the trial and error method may get you started until you determine your own -- I will do it right the first time! Have you had tasks in your life that are second nature now? Do you find ways to reduce the number of steps it takes to complete a task?

OH FRIDAY WITH WEEKEND ANTICIPATIONS

I love Fridays. Well, because no matter what the work day brings, it is the end of the week and yeah the weekend. Sometimes my plans are enough for 4 days instead of 2. Then the disappointment not all was accomplished. So today I decided, not to plan anything just to continue to muddle along on all the little tasks and projects in progress to see how much can be done. Throw in hours with the grandchildren! Continue to read a book I started awhile ago. A short country drive to take some much needed blog pictures! Weather permitting or I will watch the world from my window. Sometimes it is good to get off the treadmill of life, trying to do more instead of stopping to enjoy what is in front of me! Shopping, children's lessons, last jaunts to the cottage, street festivals, dinner parties, visiting a sick relative are some of the routine tasks for many people. The housework that never ends-so don't leave it all for the weekend! A little every day! If you are one of the lucky ones-hire a cleaning lady! I continue to be as prepared as possible for that family crisis brewing! Of course, the retirees always say- oh it's the weekend! Enjoy!