Widowhood changes many things.
From a couple to a single it makes some friendships different.
Couple friends may not want to include you in their couple activities.
Dances and weddings and parties that want couples may exclude you as well.
Does it feel hurtful? Well a little. But not unexpected.
As a professional Social Worker for decades I was very aware from the people I counselled.
Not wanting to have another relationship makes it different too. Honestly I do not need a man on my arm. I miss the man I had. So many men that I found boring previously are well still boring. Adolph was smart. We had smart conversations.
I may have felt a little hurt in the beginning but after 3 years of exclusion it has become the norm.
And guess what perhaps I have moved on as well. If other couples do not want to include me, then so be it.
New friends, new colleagues, groups with many people to which I can relate.
I have not joined the widows group or single groups where some men think they should pounce.
Even though some people tell me the house is too big and I should move, or maybe a Retirement Home, I listen but smile inside. Imagine suggesting to an independent woman to go to a Retirement Home. Not a Retirement community but a Retirement Home. I told that friend that I was not interested in talking and being with 85 year olds right now. Maybe when I am 85 myself.
I like being around people of all ages. Keeps me young.
Besides the family and I have our own plans and ideas.
Competing with Seniors my own age is well rather boring to me. It becomes a pissing contest. If I say I go for a walk with weights for 30 minutes then someone has to tell me how much more they do.
I really do not care. For me to keep my body moving and exercising is good.
Being single lets me watch and listen to other people. There are a lot of crabby old men out there. I do not need nor want one of those.
I can go places and do my own thing. Not much has changed as Adolph and I were a couple but also independent people too. He respected me and I respected him. Until it came to how much salt to put on our food!!
Overall being a widow sucks. But it is doable and beats any alternative! I like keeping my memories of being a couple alive. I write. I let my grandchildren know little stories at a time. And I miss Adolph every day and I know I always will.
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