NANA SAYS HOW MUCH SUPERVISION AND FREEDOM TO GIVE A CHILD IS A DIFFICULT QUESTION!

How much supervision and how much freedom we give children can be a tough road? Often when children are left alone to play they are just fine. Toddlers are the toughest as they explore everything. But sometimes children take advantage of the moment and do something silly or unsafe. Sneaking cookies or treats are the norm for my grandchildren. Children need to know they are trusted. Letting play occur in a safe environment is necessary for positive growth. At a playground supervision must be there. It takes time for a parent or guardian to think a child is ready for independence. There comes a time when children should be left alone in a home. Usually nothing bad will happen.  Older children have let people in homes that often get trashed for the fun of it. Have a get together and friends of friends come that can not be trusted. Older children get into parents liquor cabinet. So letting an older child have a drink or laying down the law of don't touch may help but again how much supervision. Trying to hide booze can be tricky as all children find parents' hiding places. Limiting the amount of alcohol in the home may help. But what does the parent with a wine cellar do!  Then the issue of pills! Children have been known to take their parents' prescription pills if they think they can get a buzz. A home can not be a fortress but trust is an earned value. Parents do not hesitate to check on those liquor bottles and pills. Counting helps. Make sure the booze has not been topped up by water to hide the fact some have been taken. Little children-little problems. Big children-big problems! Our children can be influenced by their friends or really accept that our own children could be the instigator! Discussions and house rules are needed. It is hard to keep an eye on our children all the time. Raising children means being cognizant as much as possible of what is going on in their lives. Some freedom but not total freedom! Even older children if parents are taking some time away need an adult who is supervising them! Oh yes a responsible adult! Some adults have never grown up either!  Did not bring up the sex discussion. Fodder for another post!

NANA SAYS A CHILD'S INDEPENDENCE COMES AT MANY STAGES

"Let me do it!" " I can do it!" Statements that children of all ages tell us. The defiant two year old! The five year old that wants to help with dusting! The ten year old that wants to bake a cake or mow the grass alone! The fifteen year old that does not want a ride home from a friend's house! There is always a push-pull between safety and allowing our children and grandchildren to do an activity by themselves. As adults we often see the safety consequences much clearer than a child. However, there are unnecessary risk taking adults that may actually teach bad habits to children. Sometimes, we can discourage children by saying " don't be a sissy!" All of us have our own definition of independence. There are times children need to be dependent on us. When a child is about to learn a new skill or enter a new stage, there may be some temporary regression before the surge forward. As the adult in the situation we must be aware of the child's needs. Support, encouragement, love are the key ingredients as well as setting some clear boundaries! What is your definition of independence? Dependence? Do you struggle with safe boundaries? What has worked for you?