NANA SAYS SUPERHEROES DON'T SPIT!

Children love us. Parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles! The closer the relationship the more we receive raw emotions and behaviours. Last weekend when I was spending some time with two of my grandchildren, they started to fight. While trying to settle the dispute, my little grandson started to spit. Something he does when upset. Rather than the nagging messages- please stop, it is unacceptable, I don't like your behaviour- I took advantage of the fact he had been playing with one of his superhero toys and simply said- " superheroes don"t spit". He stopped, looked at me and his hero toy and guess what- yes he stopped the unacceptable behaviour of spitting! Grandparenting like parenting takes creativity. Use the moment and what is in the moment! Respect the child's feelings because children just act like children! We need to discipline but it can be gentle and meaningful to what is happening now! Hey, grandparents have you come up with some creative messages or ways of diffusing situations? Learning to think before reacting to every negative occurence helps us to maintain our cool with the little people in our lives!

NANA SAYS IT'S A STRUGGLE TO HAVE CHILDREN REALLY LISTEN

How many times have I told you? You are not listening! I think these phrases come out of parents and grandparents mouths on a regular basis. Why do children not listen? Well, why do adults not listen? Perhaps the joy of the activity just prevails! Babies and toddlers can be redirected to something else. Older preschoolers, school age children and teenagers will have their mind set on something so listening has no rewards for them. Teaching the natural consequences of one's actions is one strategy. For example, if you touch the hot item, you will get hurt! Do we really want our children to be burnt. Physically removing the child from the prohibited activity comes with much heartache. Kicking, screaming can be results. Taking a toy away or stopping the activity do work. However, if you stop the car and turn around on a wanted activity, remember you must follow through and be at home with the sulky children. Tough love, always means you are not enjoying yourself either! So how do we get children to listen? Discipline and parenting means setting limits, being consistent with messages in a warm, supportive, loving environment. I love you but I do not like what you are doing or have done. No name calling! For me it is a regular struggle with my growing grandchildren. Safety is paramount so activities that are unsafe mean more struggles to teach and have the little ones listen! How do you help the children in your life learn to listen? What are your struggles?