NANA SAYS THERE ARE TWO PARENTS-DON'T BLAME THE MOTHER

For centuries if anything went wrong with the children the mother was blamed. Blamed for not producing a boy until it was determined otherwise. Blamed for autism until genetics came along to show it was not the mother's fault. Scientists at the Hospital for Sick Children are looking at mothers antenatally to determine the risk genetically. Now we know older fathers are at greater risk of producing children with autism and mental health issues. Freud blamed the mothers. A whole psycholgoy grew around mother blaming and shaming.
So why as a grandmother, mother, woman do I still hear from fathers, people, friends- it's the mother's fault.
Women have to carry the baby, deliver the baby and recover-hormones raging and all to be a mother. It can rewarding but tough at the same time.
For example, breast feeding. Some babies do it better than others. The mothers try hard and do their best. So give the mothers a break. As long as babies eat and grow that is the main issue. And of course lots of love.
Children misbehave at times. Children play loudly. Children get sick. Children are busy and lots of work. Children can be fussy eaters. Look around and so are many adults! HUM!  But children are people too that love and give back. Children can be fun!
So let's not blame or shame. Parents do their best in raising their children. Both parents need to support each other in their roles. It is okay in a couple relationship to divy up the roles in how it works in your relationship. But don't stick Mom with all the hard stuff and the fun stuff goes to others.
It is important to allow each parent to do things differently as long as there is consistency in the messages given to the children.
There are many chores to be done so getting children involved in those chores is important too. Fathers supporting mothers in sharing the chores in the home is an important message to children. Everyone has a part.
So mothers- stand your ground. Don't accept the blame. Fathers don't blame. Support each other. Oh yes, remember to thank Mom for all she does. Remember to thank Dad for all he does.
When there are two parents, there are two people that take responsiblility for raising the children.