THE FIRST CHRISTMAS WITHOUT A LOVED ONE

In the joyous busy season, for some it may be the first Christmas without a loved one. For many families loved ones move across the country, the continent or even the world. Although there is the Internet, Skype, texting and old fashioned letter writing, it is not the same when family gets together and a person or two is missing. But you know he/she/they are alive and well. When a death has occurred during the year, the loss can be heightened in this season. So what to do! Acknowledge the pain and you are missing the person. Is there something you can do to keep the memory alive. A favourite flower on the Christmas table! A little ornament with a happy picture on the tree! The Christmas grace especially written to include everyone! Revisiting old Christmas celebrations and the happy memories really help. So fast forward. What happy memories are you making? Can you remember to try to make the festive events happy as possible? Yes there is stress and sometimes too much family togetherness! Little children and their energy and noise can be overwhelming at times. Just think you are creating memories that may need to be grabbed at a future date. Try to make it the best Christmas ever. Remembering the loss from the year and including the memories of Christmas past is good. Without being morbid, think if this was the last Christmas we are together, what can I do to make it special! The last Christmas, my mother-in-law was alive since it was apparent her cancer was advancing, I took a video of her doing many special Christmas things so my family could have a wonderful memory to view occasionally if needed. It sits on the shelf. Missing a loved one is huge. So if you know someone who has lost a family member this year, reach out and let he/she share the feelings emerging. All firsts are not easy ones! Are you missing someone this year? In all the joy do you have a sense of sadness? Share those thoughts or feelings with trusted friends or family.