KEEPING IN TOUCH

We are so fortunate in these times to have so many methods to keep in touch with loved ones, friends and colleagues. Texting, facebook, twitter, emails. I just spoke with two people very close to me. The good old fashioned telephone actually works wonders too. If unable to see someone in person, hearing his/her voice is the next best thing. We tried skype but it was not as great as anticipated. A handwritten note is good too. Long letters take so much time but I am sure there are people in your family that may love to get one occasionally. I used to write my grandmother weekly in my youth as I knew she loved to get mail. For years I wrote to my Auntie Bernice when she was widowed. Of course writing to my folks until we started the email exchange. However, I send a short letter periodically to my mother as she does like the written word in my handwriting. Not everyone wants to send Christmas Cards but I do as a Christmas email is okay but pretty cards displayed is still something I love about Christmas. Receiving thank you notes, birthday cards, even postcards from exotic places. Yes, when I travel, I still send postcards to everyone. How do you keep in touch? Is it important in your life? Do you love to hear from others regularly? What are your chosen methods of communicating from a distance?

MORE FAMILY RESEARCH-BALLPOINT MARIPOSA TOWNSHIP KAWARTHA LAKES

After a busy work day, I can get lost in my research notes of my family history groups. I go to another time and place as I continue to put the pieces together. One project is taking much energy as I try to complete the family lines of one set of my great-great grandparents who lived on Ball Point farm- Lake Scugog, Ontario in the 1800's. It is partly history and partly family history. Do you have a story to tell about your family? Do you have a line that is causing you problems? Genealogy has come a long way. Just go to any website of a location of where your ancestors lived and look for genealogy information. In Ontario, a good beginning site is the Ontario Genealogical Society. There are so many books written to assist with your beginning efforts. Do you know the easiest way to get started with your family history? Talk to all your living relatives especially the older generation, write everything down or videotape the information as it is presented. Easy to know about your grandparents when they give the names of their parents and grandparents then having to search through the records after they are gone. Researching can become addictive as new information is recovered. For many genealogy is a passion.

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BEACHES

Reminiscing about vacations taken I started to think about the beaches I have walked. Usually with my husband Adolph. In my childhood we camped in Algonquin Park and stayed at Rock Lake which had a small beach. The beaches in Florida are long and many. St. Petersburg and Long Boat Key near Sarasota with the children on two different trips. Fort Lauderdale on the East Coast during Spring Break- I was not a college kid at the the time which may have been more fun for me if I had been.Freeport, Bahamas- Lucaya Beach. Barbados has lovely beaches- know the one in St. Lawrence Gap area. Jamaica in the town of Oracabessa area when I graduated from University in 1975 was one of those cheap charter trips.Of course Mexico- three times to Cancun and the beach area. Long walks. During a Cruise visited Magens Bay in St. Thomas and a small beach in St. Croix. Mostly tours of cities in Italy but did go to the beautiful beach of Sperlonga on the west coast and on Sardinia in a quiet bay on a a small beach there. Adolph's cousin Lillina owned a vacation unit so it was rather private. In Southern Ontario, Washaga Beach which is a day trip beach adventure. One of the most famous world beaches is Waikiki in Hawaii with Diamond Head in the background. Two times there- the most significant on my honeymoon in 1971. Years ago I purchased a travel album of a rich Torontonian who travelled to many places in 1910. The lady selling the album would not say who the person had been. How fitting that the pictures here are Waikiki in 1910- one hundred years ago. Are there beaches that have been a part of your life? Is the joy of walking the beach instilled in your memory? Have you enjoyed just sitting on the beach watching the waves roll in? Can you hear the sound of the water?

HEARING BUT NOT LISTENING

We all hear noise, people, friends, colleagues everyday but how often do we really listen to what others tell us. Unfortunately rarely. We say to a loved one that I told you about it so many times, weren't you listening? Hearing takes no effort but to listen takes time and commitment. Why do so many people want to see a therapist, a counsellor, a social worker? Well it is because someone listens. In my early counselling training a key phrase was- " I hear you saying". Funny, but really it should have been "I am truly listening to you." Listening means making eye contact, stopping to wait for the person to finish talking. Listening beyond the content and trying to understand the feeling behind it. Words can be deceptive but the tone, body language give the true message. Questioning and reflecting the responses back to the person, digging to determine if the person has been understood. A technique I use with children is to squat and be at their level so the child knows I am listening or simply to sit on a chair side by side- being equal. With little ones, sitting on the floor works wonders. On a daily basis, we are asked- How are you? I'm fine, thank you, how are You? We really do not want the person to tell us how he/she is doing as it just would take too much time. How many times do you say- fine, when really you are not fine but you know the person asking is really not interested in you beyond the friendly, courteous greeting, so just fine, thank you. Sometimes it is easier just to keep concerns quiet. If no one is going to listen, why bother to say anything. Or have you thought someone understood everything you were telling them and actually did not understand anything! Relationships are destroyed because no one was listening! Have there been times in your life you needed someone to listen? Have you tried and tried to be understood? Sometimes do you just hear but not listen!

WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE

We all make mistakes. We all have times when someone has hurt us. We all have events that affect our lives bringing remorse, regret, and sometimes we may even want revenge. The moments move along and can not be changed. But the impact can continue to eat away at us causing what seems like a deep gorge in our soul. To free us can we just say it is "water under the bridge." To accept but not like what has influenced us takes courage. To move on takes strength. We all know others who can not let go. If we can let go, we can truly grow. Can you let it be water under the bridge?

MORE BRIDGES

We think of a bridge as a link from one side to another. A bridge separates two worlds. In some cultures the bridge can be seen as something that is perceived on one side and something beyond perception on the other side. Dreams with bridges or bridgelike images can indicate change coming in our lives- change from one thing to another, one job to another, a new journey. Bridges take us places. Bridges can save the traveller time like The Burlington Skyway in Ontario- a long bridge to the Niagara Region with a view of Lake Ontario. Famous bridges like Il Ponte Vecchio- the old bridge- located in Florence, Italy. Probably one of the most photographed in the world. We can get a bridge loan when finances warrant it. Even a rainbow can be seen as a bridge. Bridges can be small, big, flat or with arches. Movies about bridges- like the Bridges of Madison County. Does the word bridge conjure a feeling, special meaning for you? Do you have pictures of bridges?

CROSS THAT BRIDGE

When we come to it. Worry can be a motivator to do today that should not be put off until tomorrow. Too often in our lives fret and worry can hinder the enjoyment of the moment. The issue can seem like a deep gorge with no way to solve the problem. Worrying about everything can be become a habit that freezes us from living. In every family there can be the chronic worrier. It's a sunny day, great for the picnic- it might rain. Take that highway- there may be an accident. And the negativity can be unbearable. Planning and thinking ahead about safety are positive strategies. Done, then letting go to allow whatever will happen is real living.

If there are just too many things on your plate, dealing with one at a time can be grounding. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it can be a way to adjust to the harried life we often lead. Are you a chronic worrier? Do you try to resolve the immediate issues and plan for the future positively?