OPPOSITES CAN BE FUN IN A MARRIAGE

In a marriage, having differing views and interests can bring variety. Many relationships begin because opposites attract! There are often common values and beliefs whether from the same background or religion. So initially it can appear there are major differences but the basic elemments are consistent. Love can prevail! Working on accepting each person as unique as a grain of sand on the beach. Like the salt and pepper added to your meal- they complement each other but have a distinct taste. Man and Woman! Husband and Wife! A couple but separate while together! Each with strengths and vulnerabilities! What are your thoughts about marriage? How do you make it work? Do you think you are different from your partner or very similar?

THE BEST BOOK ON GRIEF

I wrote in a previous post about C.S. Lewis who wrote A Grief Observed. It is one of the best books on grieving that I have read and used in my practice. Recently I bought a bunch to give to significant people in my life who unfortunately are in the midst of grief. His beautiful little book begins- " No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid." His book is his personal experience of grieving and missing his wife. It is usually quoted in all the modern texts on grief and loss. Reading a book will not resolve all your issues of grief. However, in the middle of the night when you really do not want to talk about how you feel, reading and processing another's thoughts who had the painful journey can bring solace! Knowing we are lonely but not alone in our bereavement journey as others before us have travelled the road let's us know it is okay to feel the pain in the depths of our souls! Lewis was known for The Narnia Chronicles but he was also a theologian with a deep faith. Grief makes us question many parts of our life and our place in the cosmos. He questioned and questioned. Does it let us also question? You bet. There are usually no definitive answers but the questioning and seeking answers can become the journey. Have you read this beautiful little book? It is available I am sure at your local library. I hope the people in my life will find it useful.

LOVE ME FLAWS AND ALL

There is so much advice and suggestions everywhere how to be the perfect wife, the perfect husband, the best sex goddess, perfect body and ageless face. We are bombarded every day to eat the best diet, the best exercise! Well love me flaws and all should be the message given. Learn to love yourself-flaws and all. Yes, eat well, exercise and enjoy your relationships respecting each others differences rather than working at them. Learn to love the others in your life-flaws and all! I remember watching a celebrity and his wife talking about marriage many years ago. They were a Christian couple. The wife said she wanted her husband to be different and support their relationship the way she wanted it to be. One day the idea occurred to her, she would be the person she wanted her spouse to be with a loving example everyday. By using her own flaws and strengths she changed the marriage. It is important to acknowledge and try to change your weaknesses-flaws. To become a better person! But a better person for whom? Do it for yourself! Who is to say? You are quite good just the way you are! Do you recognize your flaws? Do you love yourself anyway? We all want to be the best we can be-flaws and all!